


blueberry pancakes

by hopew1313



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Marvel Universe, Post-Endgame, Protective Bucky Barnes, Romance, Single Parents
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:14:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 73,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28862364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopew1313/pseuds/hopew1313
Summary: a single mother. juggling being a mom, a full time pediatrician,  and a difficult ex who believed now would be the best time to finally be a father.a soldier ripped out of time. ex-assassin turned superhero. learning how to balance a new domestic life with handling demons of his past, while facing the trials of the future.a love story began over something as simple as chocolate chip pancakes with hidden blueberries.-----------takes place after endgame. I have elected to ignore Tony's death and Steve's leaving. Did not happen.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 42





	1. disclaimer

Quick Reminder!

My works are only published here on AO3, Tumblr and on Wattpad, thank you!

I do not own any original Marvel characters! All canon plots and canon characters belong to Marvel Comics and Marvel Studios.

This is an original work. You may not publish it anywhere else.


	2. cast

lily osborne - dianna agron

bucky barnes - sebastian stan

sam wilson - anthony mackie

hunter osborne-harvey - jackson robert scott

rose osborne - lucy fry

genevive fairchild - zoe kravtiz

scott harvey - jared padalecki

alicia osborne - jennifer aniston

abel osborne - gerard butler

cedar osborne - rudy pankow

elijah pearson - henry golding

mary harvey - hannah simone


	3. the one where it starts

being an adult in general is a wild roller coaster. balancing bills, expenses, keeping a proper career. going to the bank or answering phone calls was stressful enough. seriously, what is with people and constantly calling? it is so much easier to just text! just do that instead, like it's just easier. plus it keeps the incredibly anxiety ridden people at bay, and leave them in a sane state of mind without worrying about anything.

that brings us to the protagonist of our story. lily briar osborne. the 33 year old child of abel and alicia osborne. sister to two younger siblings, rose and cedar. can you sense a theme with the children names? even lily herself seemed to carry on that legacy with her own son. while balancing her busy work and just...life? lily mothered a young boy named hunter. hunter osborne-harvey. the eleven year old boy that was the result of a much too early marriage of two young kids who believed this was it, they had found the one. well...that was not exactly the ending of their fairy tale. it instead involved a mistress, many trips to grandma and grandpa's, and a few too many shots in order handle one another.

lily was a quiet girl. more of the silent type in comparison to the majority of people in her profession. she was a pediatrician, and the only time you really see her talk or even crack a smile, is when she is with the kids. making sure they felt comfortable. when the young ones were gone, she seemed to shut down. giving straight and to the point answers. not elaborating unless asked, and giving just the facts.

lily and hunter lived in a small colonial home in the suburbs of mahattan, new york. there, they can be found in the company of a german sheppard named joey, after the beloved sitcom, Friends. you could always find the small family laying in lily's bed with the comedy illuminating the room around them. every other sunday and saturday before hunter's father came to pick him up for the weekend, they'd lay in bed before going out for a brunch at lily's best friends cafe further into the city.

which is where the story began. a sunny saturday morning in september.

\-----

"if he doesn't like you, it's a moo point."

the two osborne's laughed softly at the comment made by their favourite sitcom character. lily's fingers gently ran across the arm of her son, creating a soothing rhythm as they watched the sitcome, his head laid comfortably against the pillows. the large dog laid spread down at the edge of the duvet where his breathing radiated gently through the room.

"alright why don't you head in to get dressed and we'll go to aunt gen's cafe, hm? sound like a plan kiddo?" lily's feather light voice cooed as her hazel eyes moved to glance over at her son.

"but I wanna stay home all day and watch friends." hunter whined as he nuzzled further into his mom's bed.

"no love, I'm sure your dad has lots of things planned for the weekend. and we can watch more episodes when you're back tomorrow, okay? I promise." lily sighed while lifting her pointer finger to her son.

the pointer finger promise was lily and hunters thing. instead of making pinky promise, the weakest finger, they used one of the strongest. to make the strongest promises. that is exactly what they would do. and they'd know that if they broke it, trust would be broken. and luckily for lily, she trusted her son with her whole being. and he told her everything...as far as she knew. seeing as she wasn't in his head, who knew? though he was very vocal about his distaste for visiting his father. the separation agreement allowed scott harvey, hunter's father, to have the young boy every other weekend.

yeah, lily had primary custody. mostly because scott was never a fully invested father before the divorce, so the court had no issue granting lily the majority of the custody. but of course, scott could come by whenever to see hunter, as well as if he had something planned, he could pick up his son. but...hunter wasn't the biggest fan of his father.

neither was lily.

lily and scott got divorced a few years ago when hunter was a ripe 7 years old, and now he was just newly turned 11. in those 7 years, scott never really put an effort in. and hunter was a smart kid, and already harbored a distaste for the distant nature of his father. and it annoyed him, and lily, that all of the sudden, after the divorce, scott wished to be the great father he never was before.

"promise." hunter smiled gently and wrapped his pointer finger around lily's, before sliding out from underneath the white duvet that covered the two of them, startling the dog that laid at the end of the bed.

as hunter left the room, a small sigh escaped the blonde doctors lips. she hated these days, when hunter had to go visit his father. but she knew it was important for a child's psyche to have at least a relationship with their father. picking herself up as well, lily heaved herself into her closet. picking out a white spring dress with blue baby's breath designs splayed across the entire piece of clothing. it was a tank top strap, and it was the end of summer and a small breeze danced through her window. she slid a blue jean jacket over her arms before stepping into her bathroom to complete her basic routine.

pulling her hair into a pony, lily stepped out of her room after calling joey out and down the wooden stairs to the main floor, where hunter sat at the front door with his backpack and converse on. lily couldn't help but smile gently at her punctual son and felt proud of how she had raised him. to be a self-sufficient boy who was also able to ask for help when need be.

"you gonna get the pancakes again today kiddo?" lily wondered while stepping into her ballet flats and ruffling the fur on joey's back before opening the white door for her son.

"aunt gen keeps putting secret blueberries in them and acting as though they're chocolate chips. I don't trust her anymore."

\-----

stepping out of lily's silver 2019 honda passport, the two osborne's took a deep breath of the muggy new york air. hunter stood by lily's side as she paid for the parking spot they were lucky enough to grab in the busy streets. sliding her arm around the boys shoulders, lily lead the two towards the fairly busy cafe her best friend owned.

genevive fairchild. lily's best friend for close to 20 years now. meeting during their highschool orientation back in 2005. gen was the extroverted hippy with conservative parents who disagreed with their child's decisions and mannerisms. wearing what was to become her signature dreadlocks with golden decals littering her hair. baggy shirts with fishnet cardigans and ripped jeans. entering the school loud and unbothered by others opinions or thoughts on how she acted or what she wore. and somehow, she was taken with the quiet blonde who kept her opinions to herself, hands tucked behind her back.

lily hadn't changed much in these twenty years, much to her parents dismay. her parents were elated when their timid daughter brought home the boisterous and carefree genevive. lily's parents were the same as gen, unbothered and one with the earth. her father being a botanist and her mother a conversationalist. plants and crystals littered the eco friendly home of lily's childhood in the rural area of long island, new york. to see their studious, goody-good, daughter who wore knee length dresses everyday and cardigans, to bring home such a carefree spirit.

and ever since then, the two were inseparable. lily even made her the godmother of hunter. they both had keys to each others places, and nothing ever seemed to get in between the two of them. other than those many years scott reeked havoc on their friendship. he kept lily under some sort of spell, no matter how many times gen attempted to convince her of the terrible manner of their relationship. eventually, gen gave up on the fight. until the young chocolate skin girl caught her best friends husband getting it on with some girl at a party gen was invited to.

and that was the end of that marriage. gen stayed with lily almost every night while everything was happening. and when her or scott couldn't get hunter up to lily's parents, gen would take him. make sure he wasn't too focused on the broken state of his mother.

as the two pushed open the door to the cafe, they were greeted with the fresh smell of coffee and pastries. before practically being tackled by the woman earlier mentioned.

"you two will NOT believe who is here right now."


	4. the one with the fanboy

now lets do a quick background explanation of a pretty key player in this love story. hunter osborne-harvey. the child of scott and lily. he was created out of what was believed to have been love. that's what lily had believed at least. when lily had found out she was pregnant, while juggling a relationship as well as finishing medical school, she did not believe it at first. she had taken around eight pregnancy tests before she eventually ended up at the doctors office...confirming her biggest fear.

she was expecting.

scott proposed to lily shortly after she had broke the news to him. lily, caught off guard, had accepted with no hesitation. the two had only been together for around a year and a half, and that really was not enough time for two people to decide whether or not they would settle down for the rest of their lives together. not to mention, the two together had no money. well...or so she thought. turns out, scott's family had a rainy day fund for him, and the two seemed to be well taken care of.

where the money came from? lily was never sure. she supposed his family was most likely saving up for him to go to an ivy league school, but only had to pay for a simple engineering course instead. leading their son into a successful career. so when scott began to work full time, he seemed to be home even less. it was shortly after hunter was born, when things began to really go sour between the two.

after work, scott would go out with his buddies and come home piss drunk to struggling med student, lily, rocking a fussy hunter in her arms while studying for a large test the next day. instead of offering help, he would stumble off to bed and pass out instantly. leaving lily to rely on her advanced mind to get her through med school. and somehow, she did it, with hard work, tears, and many nights sleeping at genevives away from scott.

as hunter grew up, he seemed to face a few...development issues. he rarely spoke, and could be found sitting alone in his room staring out the window, a lost look in his deep brown eyes. scott and lily fought night after night. this carried on for seven years of hunters life. he would lay awake at night and listen to the insults that were hurled back and forth. his father storming out of their small one story home, which cued a string of sobs from his mothers lips. on these nights, hunter would crawl into bed with lily and hold his broken mom close as she slept.

it was later uncovered, that hunters iq was off the charts, just like his mothers. doctors suggested advanced work and study methods. this lead into a fight. lily wanted her son to be taught as a regular kid, instead of being held at a higher level like she was. constantly being singled out and then ridiculed if she got anything wrong. scott, however, believed hunter should be taught at an advanced rate, so in the future he can be worth billions.

that night got particularly heated, and aunt gen came to pick him up to stay at her apartment above her cafe. they stayed up all night and watched movies before falling asleep on the couch. the following day, his grandpa and grandma picked him up and said he'd be staying with them for a bit.

a week later, he was informed of his parents separation.

and now, he lived happily with his mother 90% of the time, dreading the weekends he'd have to be at his fathers with his dad's new wife and baby girl. he was ignored most of the time, being left to fend for himself as mary, his step-mom, and his father would go out to friends homes. he had to care for leila, his half-sister, with a useless babysitter.

anytime he brought up a change of custody, lily would shut the conversation down. though she suffered all those years with scott, the blonde knew that he loved hunter. even if he did not have a very good way of showing it. she knew hunter would rather be home with her, grabbing breakfast at aunt gen's, ordering pizza for dinner while watching movies and shows. playing in the backyard with joey.

sleeping in lily's bed when he heard her crying at night.

\-----

"who's here?" lily wondered aloud as she walked to her and hunter's usual spot near the kitchen at a booth.

"okay, hunter if I tell you, you have to swear not to go all superhero nerd on me okay?" genevieve grinned while sliding into the booth next to the young boy, "I know your whole obsession with these righteous men and women." with a reassuring nod from the quiet boy, lily watched as gen began, "the one and only captain america is here. with his two best confidants, falcon and winter soldier."

lily's eyes immediately turned towards her son. she couldn't help but grin widely at the bright and beaming smile that lit up his face after gen broke the news. his chocolate brown eyes sparkled as the fanboy in him boiled to the brim. but, he had promised to keep his composure. instead, lily watched as he pursed his lips and his grin grew bigger.

"where are they sitting?" he managed out, attempting to take deep breaths to relax to overwhelming amount of adrenaline and nerves dancing through his body.

gen nodded her head gently towards her left side, causing both mother and son to glance slyly to where the few people in the cafe seemed to be also sneaking glances of. and sure as shit, there the three sat. chatting lowly over coffee and pastries. glancing back towards her son, lily could see the excitement growing more and more the longer he looked at his heroes. all over his room, posters of captain america, iron man, black panther, etc, littered the walls. action figures and collectibles stacked up on his shelves. hardcore fanboy. it was endearing to see.

"mom! could I go ask for an autograph?" hunter pleaded as he looked over at his mom and aunt, who exchanged weary looks. the two shared that telepathic conversation that all best friends can do, before turning towards the boy sat opposite of them.

"go ahead kiddo. but do not make a scene." lily stated with a gentle smile, leaning forward with her pointer finger extended. the blonde boy wrapped his pointer finger around his mothers before sliding out of the booth and towards the men he idolized, "we just made a huge mistake, didn't we?"

"nope. you did. he will never shut up ever again," gen chuckled while sliding out of the booth, "usual order I'm guessing? secret blue berry pancakes for hunter and croissant with icing sugar for you?"

"you know me so well, and I hope he doesn't shut up. it'd be nice to hear him talk from time to time." lily chuckled as a waitress poured her coffee into a mug.

bringing the hot liquid to her lips, lily's eyes turned to glance at the group her son just went to talk to. they all had sideways smiles on as they laughed at something said. whether it be from her son or one of them. the heartwarming smile that lily seemed to be known for stretched across her lips as she sipped the dark liquid in the white mug she held. all of the sudden, hunter turned and pointed back towards their table, the three men's eyes following his arm. they all raised a hand and gave a gentle wave.

this in turn, cause lily to basically spit out her coffee. or more so...actually spit out her coffee. smooth, lily, real smooth.

one of the men, one she recognized as the falcon, noticed the spillage and stood from his seat, making his way over and sliding into the booth across from the young girl. lily's eyes blew wide as her cheeks flushed a bright red against her fair skin.

"steve has a tendency of making women spit out their drinks, something to do with his charm or something," the dark skinned man chuckled as he cleaned the coffee off the table, "sam wilson. and I'm guessing you know the blonde. and the rugged robocop would be bucky barnes."

bucky barnes. lily's eyes slid from the coffee in front of her to the other two men still putting up with her obsessed teenage boy. she seemed to catch the gaze of the long haired one, the superhero mentioned prior. right as they locked eyes, both turned away. lily's cheeks only heating up more as she cleared her throat.

like I said, she wasn't much of a talker.

"sorry about my son, he loves you all a lot," lily said, her voice a mere murmur as held the mug up to her lips, "oh and uh...I'm lily. lily osborne."

sam seemed almost...shocked? by the words that left the blondes lips. as though he didn't believe a part of what she had said. was she known among the superheroes or something? maybe her fathers botanist studies? or the fact a young boy was in love with superheroes? but they all seemed pretty unlikely. most teenage boys liked superheroes. especially those who fit the same archetype as hunter.

"there is no way in hell you're that young kid's mom. you're way too young." sam laughed softly, shaking his head.

oh. so that's what he didn't believe. most people have that assumption. that they were brother and sister rather than mother and son. lily was only thirty five, and had a youthful glow to her it seemed. thought whenever she looked in the mirror, all she saw was all of those years of hard work and sadness. the weight of being a single mother weighing down the undereye skin that was now seemingly bruised. the dull aura of her busy work schedule and stress with handling a fairly difficult ex-husband.

"yeah, he's my son. look's more like me than his father, luckily." lily laughed softly, nibbling at her lips. a nervous habit. her mother used to scold her on the daily for it, saying that the precious skin on her lips was for the kiss of someone she loved, not to be pulled open by anxiety.

"well he's a sweet kid-" sam stated before being interrupted by steve and bucky calling sam, as they headed towards the door, "it was nice meeting you lily. you've got a good kid on your hands," he continued, writing down an address and number on a napkin, "swing him by the compound one day. I'll give him a tour."

lily gave a simple nod goodbye as she slid the napkin into her purse, grinning as her beaming son returned to their booth, looking more vibrant than ever. he began to rave about how awesome captain america was and how quiet the other guy was. bucky, right. gen slid their food down in front of them before sending lily a quick wink.

"aunt gen these are blueberry!"


	5. the one with the wallet

the nights that lily spent alone were always the hardest for her to handle. she'd spend her day busying herself with miscellaneous activities in order to keep her mind off the empty house around her. whether it be sweeping the floors, vacuuming the carpet, cleaning dishes that were probably already clean, whatever it was. if it kept her mind off the fact she'd be asleep alone in the house with only her dog...she'd do it.

but today...things just didn't work out like that. there were no dishes. lily could practically see her reflection on the hardwood. the carpets were as soft as a cloud. she'd walked joey twice already, and the dog was now passed out in the living room with his tongue hanging out of his mouth. she scrolled through netflix about six times, even made herself spinach puffs from scratch. and still, it was only 4pm. 

glancing down at the screen of her phone, she let out a gentle sigh. might as well spend some time out in the city. she's lived in new york state her whole life, and lived specifically in new york, new york, for 15 years. and yet she'd never done anything really tourist-y in ages. the last time she walked the streets of new york by choice was when her and genevieve first moved out from long island. those were the days. living in an old and dingy apartment with gen. her only stress being school and balancing a part time job. 

lily lived like that for around two years or so. and then she met scott. and well, we all know how quickly her life changed after that.

grabbing her keys and purse, lily bent down to press a gentle kiss on the top of her sleeping dogs head before sliding out the front door and locking it behind her. would she wander the dirty streets of the city? probably not. but she would for sure be stopping in to pester gen as she juggled running the cafe. maybe even snag a few pancakes to indulge in during her nightly read. who knew? all that the blonde knew was that she would definitely being grabbing at least one of gen's infamous blueberry muffins.

\-----

around five, lily felt herself grow weary of the hustle and bustle of the city. she had stopped into a few stores to take a look around, specifically the m&m store to pick hunter up some chocolate, the disney store, and just a few small boutiques. making her way down the packed streets, lily found herself out front of gen's cafe. letting out a soft sigh with a slight grin tugging at the corner of her lips, she pushed through the door.

the young girls dark green eyes scanned around the room as she watched customers laugh over coffee, share a pancake, or just indulge in the tasty sweets that her best friend made her living making. giving a small wave to a few of the wait staff, lily maneuvered to the back, where with a furious intensity, gen sat on a stool, icing a doughnut. knocking on the wall to alert the fellow new york native of her presence, lily made her way over.

"well well, what did little ol' me do to deserve two trips by the infamous lily osborne today hm?" gen teased while moving her work to the side, "couldn't stay at home any longer?"

"nope. if I took joey out on another walk I think he may have gone into cardiac arrest," lily chuckled while taking a seat down on a stool, dropping her bags, "I always hate when hunter goes back to scotts. the house feels so empty without him."

"I can imagine. why don't I stay over tonight? keep you some company in that basic suburban home of yours, hm? sound like a plan, doctor osborne?" gen grinned, nodding over to two bottles of wine beside the fridge, "picked those two puppies up on my break. figured it's better if I drank them with someone else, instead of just myself."

"oho is that all I am? a buffer to keep you from turning into a raging alcoholic? also, mind throwing some blueberry pancakes in a container for me?" lily teased while snagging a chocolate chip out of the container.

"I thought you were aware of this?" gen joked, before looking past lily to one of the waiters pushing the door open, "yes elijah?"

"the man who called earlier about his wallet just showed up, where'd you put the thing?" the dark haired worker asked, dark eyes glancing down briefly towards lily.

the blonde blushed ever so gently at the look, before turning around so her back was towards the male. she spotted the dark leather casing of a wallet and slid her arm out, pulling it into her grasp before standing. lily pulled her purse over her shoulder and picked up the plastic bag her sons chocolate snack sat in, gripping it in her opposite hand.

"I'm heading out...I'll take it to him, what does he look like?" lily asked as she brushed past elijah, turning towards the seating area of the cafe.

"he's got long hair and a beard," a gruff voice commented from beside her, the small screech of a bar stool being scraped against hardwood echoing through the space, "and is wearing leather gloves."

turning her attention to where the voice was coming from, lily found herself face to face (or more so face to chest) with the same man she had seen earlier with her son. bucky. right. that was his name. he was taller than lily had imagined, and more beefy in the chest then she could see from many tables over and under a clearly oversized jacket. but up close? the man looked like he could rip lily apart with his bare hands, and not even break a sweat. granted...he was a supersoldier. she was sure he probably could actually do that, jacked or not.

"oh! sorry," lily mumbled as she extended her arm with the wallet at the end, "I was leaving so I figured..." her voice trailed off, a familiar feeling of excited nerves bundling up in her throat. letting out a deep breath before taking a small step back, after the cool sensation of metal danced across her fingers.

right, lily remembered hunter raving about how cool the winter soldiers metal arm was. how it was so strong it could tear car doors right off their hinges without any resistance. by remembering this, lily's suspicions were confirmed. he totally could rip her in half if he wanted to. but according to her son, the winter soldier was timid in real life. but how would she know for sure? she didn't know who he was.

"it's okay...thanks," he mumbled softly, seeming to nibble on his chapped bottom lip, "you were here earlier right? with the cute little guy?"

lily nodded gently, fumbling with her fingers as her mind raced in attempt to find a way to quickly exit this social situation. if she wasn't familiar with someone, it was rare to hear lily speak. being a talker was never one of the timid girls personality traits. she mostly kept quiet and never tried to go out of her way to spend time with new people or large groups. they made her nervous. she didn't trust people. she had seen what they were capable of doing.

a tap on her shoulder pulled lily out of her self-inflicted panic mode. glancing behind her, elijah stood with the paper container filled with blueberry pancakes for lily. giving a gentle smile, the blonde mouthed a thank you before turning back towards the man who seemed to have no moved a muscle since the two began talking. or more so, he mumbled and she stood their dumbfounded. it wasn't much of a conversation.

"so...what'd you get?" the man asked, glancing around as if he too, was thinking of a way to either get out of this conversation, or at least distract himself from the seemingly terrified girl in front of him.

"blueberry pancakes..." lily laughed gently, biting down on her plush bottom lip, before her phone rang from inside of her purse. sending a quick thank you to the good lord above, lily excused herself from the awkward conversation, only catching a quick remark about how they were his favourite.

pushing out into the humid air of new york in september, lily pulled her phone out and answered quickly. a quick sigh of relief escaped her lungs as she turned away from the cafe and back towards where her car had been parked for the past hour and a bit. finally, thankful she could get away from anymore possible chances of awkward run ins.

"hello?" lily spoke quietly into the phone as she unlocked her car, sliding into the front seat.

"he was totally eye fucking you." gen's voice sang out as her bluetooth automatically connected from lily's phone.

"shut up! be at my place at eight, weirdo."


	6. the one with the wine

"I'm telling you! I was standing right there, he could not take his eyes off of you! buddy was one hundred percent into you." gen laughed while tossing a kernel of popcorn into her mouth, chasing it with a sip of cherry wine.

shaking her head, lily crossed her legs, tucking her hands into the oversized grey sweater she wore. never in her life would she believe someone could be so taken with her. especially someone who looked like bucky. he was more than just a man, he was a whole different kind of breed. from the story his eyes were able to tell, to the way his mannerisms gave away the constant anxiety coursing through him. everything about bucky told a story. the scruff that outline his jaw, the perfect cut of his hair. he was the type of man lily dreamed of, that most girls dreamed of. rugged, mysterious, brooding. but his voice, soft, yet deep and gravelly. perfection, in the eyes of lily. and yet, she didn't know anything about him.

"you're delusional. we had a two minute conversation where I spoke two words, maybe," lily chuckled while pulling her sweatpant covered knee to her chest, "there's no way in hell he was looking at me how you claim. it's just...nope. impossible."

a groan escaped gen's lips as lily watched her throw her head back and lean against the arm of the couch, "would you stop with your self-deprivation? lily you are beautiful! you have a beautiful son, a beautiful home, a too-good-to-be-true dog, and look like you should be a model," gen chuckled, sipping her wine, "I never understood your ability to be insecure."

lily answered with a gentle shrug. it was in her DNA, she supposed. she's always been insecure and down on herself. her parents booked her in for counselling, because just like her son, she too faced development issues. she never spoke, kept to herself. she'd busy her hands and mind with drawing, reading, and writing. it was later discovered her iq was off the charts for her age. eventually she began to talk again, but she never believed herself to be pretty, or have an overall appealing personality. 

it's what kind of made gen and her work as a friendship. gen was confident and carefree, living her best life and just taking everyday at a time. she never fretted about the future, or focused on the past. and on the other hand, lily was neurotic. insecure. living in the past, especially the years of emotional trauma from her ex-husband. she planned the future and tried to always ensure what would happen. the ying and yang of newcomers high school in long island. no one understood their friendship, or how it managed to stay alive. but it did, and it saved lily from venturing into dark areas of her mind multiple times. 

"we should text him!" gen squealed while grabbing lily's phone off the table

"you're funny. I don't even have his number, doedoe." lily grinned, leaning back against a pillow as she watched gen try to think of a retort.

"noo, but sam wilson gave you his. maybe, just maybe, he could give you mr. barnes' number." gen winked while typing in the blonde's password, pulling up the contact that lily had created for the falcon.

rolling her forest green eyes, lily pulled herself off the couch and towards the kitchen next to it. she poured herself another glass of wine before pulling out the blueberry pancakes she had grabbed earlier, watching as gen's fingers typed feverishly on the iPhone 11 that lily gratefully owned. shaking her head, the blonde put the pancakes onto a plate and stuck them in the microwave for a minute. she could hear the clicking of gen's fingers against the phone screen and a small chuckle escaped the girls plush lips.

"what're you doing? typing him a whole novel?" lily called, turning down the volume on the amazon echo that currently played nineties tunes.

"noo, he's just fast at answering. aaaand...I got the number!" gen squealed and hopped off the couch towards the kitchen where lily stood, "what should his name be? hunky bucky? mr. barnes?"

rolling her eyes, lily pulled the plate out of the microwave, taking the margarine out of the fridge, along with a knife and fork from the drawer beside the fridge. whatever gen was planning, lily knew she wouldn't be able to talk her out of it. whenever her best friend conjured a plan or set her mind to something, she had zero chance of getting in the way. gen reached new levels of stubborn when it came to these sorts of things. especially lily's love life. gen has set her up on dates and different escapades...but lily never took to any of the men. she never felt as though she could see it going anywhere.

"how about just bucky? you could even add barnes if it makes you happy," lily sighed, a piece of blueberry pancake wedged into the side of her mouth. leaning on her elbow, lily cupped her chin in her hands, sipping her alcohol, watching as gen continued to type, "what the hell are you typing?" lily laughed, cutting up a few more pieces.

gen merely replied with a simple shrug, "he thinks he's texting you. apparently bucky won't send you a text. but I said that you would not be making the first move."

"there's no moves being made!" lily snapped and stole her phone back from gen's grip, glancing at her messages, "I'm not looking for a relationship. I don't want one. I have all I need. like you said, a beautiful son, a lovely home. great friends. a relationship would only create dysfunction and chaos."

a wave of silence rolled across the two. gen stared at the blonde in front of her, who was gripping the fork in her hands so tightly, her knuckles turned a sickly shade of white, with a tinge of green. a sigh escaped her lips as lily dropped the fork back down onto the counter, running a hand down her face. her green eyes avoided the stare that gen was sending her way, a knowing look. one that let lily know that she knew exactly what was going on inside of the blondes head, even when lily herself didn't know. a strange ability gen seemed to have, knowing what was repressed deep inside of lily's subconscious.

"lily-"

"just drop it gen!" the young mom exclaimed while lifting her hands with clenched fists, "please just drop it..."

"okay...okay I'll drop it," gen sighed, filling her glass once more with wine, "but sam did mention you coming by? with hunter? what was that about?" the wondered, crossing her legs as she took her seat on a stool at the counter.

dropping her now empty plate into the sink, a small laugh escaped lily's lips, "sam offered to give hunt a trip around the compound. give him a tour of everything, meet everyone. might ask scott to grab him a bit early tomorrow and take him by."

gen nodded. and the rest of the night went on like that. a bit quieter than before, due to the fact lily's mind was still reeling from the small outburst earlier. they sipped their wine, finishing the two bottles. they both fell asleep in lily's bed, both drunk and sprawled out. it was picturesque really. the two of them. an iconic duo to say the least.

\-----

the next morning, a bright beam of light streamed through the sheer curtains of lily's bedroom. joey snoring gently beside her, his soft fur tickling her forearm. sucking in a quick breath, the blonde reached her arm up to rub her eyes, before pulling herself up from her laying down position. she glanced around, noticing how gen was nowhere in sight. furrowing her brows, lily turned to pick up her phone, noticing a text from her.

GEN

had to go to the cafe. spoke to scott for you, you're picking hunt up at 1. love ya

lily's eyes glanced at the time on her phone, 11:30. she had an hour and a half. throwing her duvet off of her legs, startling joey, she stood up. her head pounded and she glanced to her right, noticing the empty wine glass from the night before. chuckling gently, she picked it up and headed down the stairs towards her kitchen. having nights alone with gen typically helped lily relax, make her calm those nerves that were constantly in a loop of anxiety and fear. but the slight argument they had the night before kept replaying in her head. she got so angry. as if finally, after all of these years, all of the trauma she faced in the name of love was coming to a head. that the heart scott broke had yet to heal properly. four years later, lily still believed herself to be unlovable. incapable of finding someone. her deep subconscious believing that she had her one chance at love, and blew it.

a warm petal slid down the blondes cheekbone. her bottom lip quivering. in an attempt to stop the shaking of the plush muscle, lily bit down. her breathing became shaky, her hands gripping onto the cool counter top so intensely that it mirrored the same shade as the night before. gasps escaped her lips as she fumbled for a cup, leaning against the counters for support as she wandered over to the sink. flipping on the silver faucet, the clear liquid ran into the cup. the moment she deemed enough, lily chugged back the water. her eyes relaxed and her breath steadied back to a regular pace. 

when lily finally regained the composure she needed in order to continue on with her day, the blonde stood up straight. glancing around the empty home, lily's head dipped down so her chin gently rested on her collarbone. pursing her lips once again, lily sucked in the air around her through her nose. she dropped the cup into the sink and gave her body a shake, letting all of those feelings that just bubbled to the surface return to their rightful place deep within her. where she didn't have to deal with them, and the people around her wouldn't see them. it was her way of hiding what she was truly feeling. and that's exactly what she wanted. to hide those fears, those doubts. everything.

she had to be strong, had to keep that facade up in order to maintain composure. she couldn't let hunter see just how broken his mother was. even though he may already know...she had to play ignorant just in case.

after scarfing down a croissant, lily jogged up the stairs (much to her heads dismay). her start to the day was already hectic, and typically, that meant an extreme day ahead of her. lily wasn't sure if she was all too prepared to handle that, especially after her little moment just moments ago. but she couldn't allow that small anxiety moment consume her mind again, and destroy the rest of her day. she had sent a quick text to sam, confirming the tour before placing her phone against the mahogany dresser she and hunter had painted white. the dark green of her iris found itself staring back at herself in the mirror that was hung to carefully above the previously mentioned dresser.

oh she looked rough. mascara smudged below her waterline, hair sticking out in three different directions. her eyes were puffy and lips swollen, with a gentle tinge of scarlet displayed on the tip of her nose. her chest heaved up and down, neck expanding and retracting as her breathing continued to follow the path of relaxation. almost instantly, she averted her eyes. no one wanted to look at a broken shell of a woman for too long, became depressing. especially when the said woman was nursing an existential hangover from two bottles of wine split with a person that could drink captain morgan under a table. 

she pushed open the door to her closet and sighed. yeah...maybe she did need a new wardrobe. she had been wearing the same dresses and shirts for years. she never had time to go shopping, or, when she did, she chose not to. because shopping meant trying clothing on, which meant looking at her own body. the stretch marks across her hips, and the few that littered her stomach along her bellybutton. of course, these were caused naturally when she was pregnant, and because shes grown from a baby. regardless of how they came to be, lily couldn't help but feel worse about herself with them. the pale pink shade they showed against her fair tone, making them prominent. that's why she never went shopping. shame.

lily changed into a cream coloured lace spring dress with spaghetti straps and a brown leather braided belt, slipping a red cardigan over top due to the fact it was september, and there was a new cool breeze alongside the muggy heat. her feet stepped into a pair of black flats before trudging to the bathroom. checking the time, it read noon. she let out a sigh and picked up her can of dry shampoo, shaking the cool metal canister, causing a gentle noise to escape. her morning routine was basic, but today she added the fact of cleaning the oiled up and overused makeup that stayed on her face from the night before. and when she was done, she let out a sigh and quickly turned from the mirror, not able to look at it once again. she fed joey quickly, gave him a kiss, then headed out.

time to pick up the boy that kept her going.

\-----

scott lived in brooklyn, new york. he lived with the mistress that broke the horses back of their marriage, and the daughter that was created out of it. bitter wasn't the word she would use to describe how she felt towards the entire situation. resentment, denial, those were better. the affair only made lily more sure of her lack of worth. not to mention how it broke all trust she had in the male sex, or anyone that she dated. she hadn't had a relationship since scott, and hadn't even been physical with someone. a goodnight kiss, sure, but that's where it ended. nothing more. she couldn't do it. and she one hundred percent blamed the father of her son.

him and his new wife, mary, aka the mistress, bunked in a two story apartment near the edge of the area. it was a quiet area, but more urban and modern than the cozy and domestic vibe of lily's area. that was a source of many arguments between the two as well. scott preferred the non-stop of the city, while lily preferred the privacy of the more so suburban areas of the city of new york. but now, the two were able to come to an agreement. she lived in the rural area, and he lived in the city. was it a bit of a venture when it came to sharing custody of their child? sure, but being divorced, the two didn't really have a say in where the other lived.

pulling into the driveway of her ex-husbands apartment building, lily turned off her car, and pushed open the door. the heat hit her like a wave, before the cool air broke down the wall the mugginess had created. pressing the button to be buzzed in, the blonde rocked back and forth on her heels. when she heard the door unlock, she pushed through. after a few moments and one elevator trip, she reached the door of the apartment. her fragile hand knocked, and seconds later, it busted open.

"hey scott."


	7. the one with the tour

scott harvey was a manipulative man. he knew how to get what he wanted when he wanted, and was never one to take no for an answer. he'd do whatever it took to ensure he had people wrapped around his finger, so that he could snap his fingers and have what he desired in his hands in a moments notice. and lily fell for that. she became the next in a long line of women who was eating out of the palm of his hand, all because he promised her the world. he promised her security, happiness, and peace. instead she got fear, chaos, and emotional trauma. the exact thing she was terrified of. he used her anxiety against her, used the fragility of her mind to keep her trapped in his web like a fly.

she was sort of thankful for mary. she was a sweet woman, the two got along and were pretty amicable. lily knew if she needed anything, mary would help out, and vice versa. because you can have a messy marriage, but keep a healthy relationship with the wrecking ball that destroyed the thin wall that still stood. lily was grateful for mary, because she was able to open the blondes eyes to see what was really going on. the web of lies that scott had caught lily in, like a spider, finding it's next meal.

and every time she saw him, saw that sideways smile and forehead creases, all of the emotions he caused caught up to lily in a ball, and took up camp in the middle of her throat, rendering her speechless for the majority of their brief conversations. which is where we pick up, in the hallway of scott and mary's apartment building, scott holding his daughter, leila, in his arms. something lily didn't believe she had ever seen her ex do with their son.

"traffic was insane...sorry I'm a little late." lily mumbled, her broken eyes darting everywhere, in an attempt to keep them from making contact with the deep set hazel of scott's iris'.

"don't apologize. I'll never complain about spending a bit longer with hunt." scott said, his voice still as soft as a marshmallow. lily couldn't help but wince ever so gently as it floated into her ears, sending a rush of adrenaline and nerves to her heart, picking up its pace.

"mom!" a young boys voice called before bursting past the older man, almost knocking down his mother, gripping onto her waist.

"hey kiddo," lily smiled, hand running through the blonde locks atop of her sons head, smiling gently as he hid his face into her side. turning her attention back to scott, she gave a weak smile, "thanks for letting me pick him up early. my parents are coming down for dinner."

"no problem. say hi to abel and alicia for me," scott smiled, causing a shiver to run down lily's spine. the idea of saying that scott said hi made lily sick to her stomach. her parents despised the father of their grandson, for good reason. as far as the osborne parents were concerned, scott was a dead man, "see ya buddy."

saying a quick goodbye, lily and hunter found themselves back in the car as quickly as the conversation that just happened. hunter was quiet at first, waiting for lily to regain her composure for the second time that day. her forehead rested on the leather of her steering wheel, deep breaths escaping her lips as her fingers wrapped around the wheel. a few moments later, lily relaxed back into her seat, turning on the car.

"so grandma and grandpa are coming over?" hunter asked, breaking the comfortable silence the mother and son had going on, "when did you find out?"

lily tried her best to repress the smile the threatened to explode onto her face. she loved giving hunter surprises. with everything the boy has been through, being able to see his face light up when he's faced with something unexpected was the only high she'd ever need. it was rare to see such extreme emotion out of hunter, and let alone something as raw as the joy he gets with surprises. and this one that she had planned, it would go down in history. he would be talking about it for ages to come, for the rest of his life even. that's what lily wanted, for him to create perfect childhood memories he'd be able to tell his kids in the future. to gather them up around the table at christmas and pass stories around about how him and grandma spent a day with earths mightiest heroes, and got to see where they worked. that was the goal of a parent, to make their child's days as memorable as they could.

"oh the other day they mentioned it, but nothing was ever confirmed. I got a text this morning from grandma about it," lily hummed nonchalantly as she pulled out of the brooklyn apartment complex, and turned onto the busy roads.

connecting his phone to the apple carplay that came with the vehicle, hunter spoke again, "that'll be nice. I know you miss seeing them sometimes. long island is so far away from manhattan, why did you move away?"

lily's smile grew wide, the dimple in her cheek creating a cavern of happiness at her sons words. he was as intuitive as they come, and as observant as all get out. truly, lily believed herself to be one of the luckiest mothers in the world to be blessed with an angel like hunter. he was pure of heart and as sharp as a whip. he always picked up on lily's microaggressions, and all of the small mannerisms she showed while in certain moods. she was never sure how he became as smart as he did, but doctors insisted it was because of her own intelligence. that it carried on down to her son, and how he reflected her as a child. and lily lived a loving and wonderful childhood, so hopefully, that too would relay to her son.

reaching over to ruffle his hair, lily let out a gentle sigh, "well hunt, I moved out here to the city with auntie gen when I graduated high school. I got into columbia university, which was my dream school. so I came out here to study, while aunt gen was over in NYU, studying business. I moved out here for the opportunity, and I'm glad I did, because you were the result."

hunter let out a small noise as he acknowledged the story that his mother just shared, while scanning spotify for the best playlist. the two loved the eighties and nineties, so he settled on a premade group of songs from that era. the bass boomed throughout the car as the two began to belt out the lyrics to billie jean by michael jackson. it was moments like these, when lily felt most content. just her and hunter, living their best lives together as they sang to oldies but goodies. being able to see his eyes light up whenever they passed a cool looking building or when they saw a cute dog, or one that looked like joey. her favourite moment though, the cream of the crop, is when he sings. though not a professional, he always looked so at ease while letting his voice dance through the car.

about twenty minutes into the drive, he caught on though, "this isn't the way home. where are we going?" his voice rang, turning down the volume of the lionel richie.

she had to think quick. if he noticed the slightest of hesitation in lily's speech, the surprise would be blown, and he wouldn't be surprised when they didn't stop at home. so, she did what she thought would throw him off the most, "we've gotta hit a grocery store on the way home. aunt gen needs something for the cafe and this is the only place that sells it near here. is that okay kiddo?"

nodding, he turned the music back up. this meant that he believed what she said. if he didn't, he'd press on further. interrogating lily until he got the truth out of her. he would make a hell of a lawyer in the future, due to the strange ability he had of getting into peoples minds. he was like scott in that way, but different at the same time. he never used it to manipulate, or use people, but to find out the truth. get the answers. learn. that was hunters goal, not to make people the puppets in his little game. he was curious, that was all.

shortly after the small conversation between the two introverts, lily took the turn that would lead them straight to the compound. her aged eyes glanced towards the world that sat in her passenger seat. he hadn't noticed yet, and lily was thankful. it would be more exhilarating if he didn't realize until they went up to the door. knocking on the door and having someone like captain america answer? now that was something that lily would love to witness. to see her son's heart swell at the sight of one of his heroes answering the door. she could only imagine what he would say, and couldn't seem to fathom how he would react.

pulling into the parking lot, lily stopped the car and turned it off, capturing hunters attention. he sat up in his seat and glanced out the window, a confused yet intrigued look masking his typical stoic facial expression. stepping out of the car, lily gestured with her left hand to follow her up towards the doors. hesitantly, hunter followed along, his shoes making gentle noises on the rocks and pebbles below his feet.

"where are we?" he questioned, hand slipping into the fragile on of his mothers, "and why are your hands always so cold?"

lily remained silent, simply walking up the stairs of the compound. her neck craned to look down at the bewildered boy, who couldn't help but swivel his head around in an attempt to recognize his surroundings. but the only time he would have ever seen this place was maybe in pictures, so lily was sure that she had gotten the surprise in the bag. that she was able to dupe the boy that could rarely ever be surprised. now that, would be an accomplishment. 

lily's free hand reached up and knocked on the grey doors in front of them, pursing and nibbling on her lips in attempt to hide the mischievous and prideful grin that threatened to give away the present. she had been looking forward to this moment the entire car ride, hardly being able to contain the excitement that rushed through her veins at the idea of her sons wildest dreams coming true. well, his wildest dream would to actually become an avenger, or any sort of superhero. but a mother could only do so much.

voices rang out behind the door, before it was swung open to reveal sam wilson. the man who had originally offered to take the eleven year old boy on a tour of the place, "lily! you made it, was starting to get worried you two would bail on us," he teased, chocolate brown eyes readjusting to look down at the blonde boy beside lily, "hey hunter, nice to see you again."

her sons hand had slipped out of her own, which caught lily's attention. she looked down at him and felt her heart swell about a million times bigger than it already was. his smile reached ear to ear, cheeks growing to a rosy red and his pupils dilated to eleven. he seemed frozen, stuck to his one position on the porch step of the avengers compound. her frail hand tapped the boy on the back, urging him to respond and walk into the building.

"he's a tad awestruck it seems," lily chuckled, taking his small hand into her own and walking past the threshold of the home, "it took me a bit to find this place."

"privacy is key for us," a voice rang out from a bit away. lily's eyes averted towards the sound and she spotted captain america. the captain america. steve rogers. every girls dream man. he was even more gorgeous in person, and lily couldn't help but feel choked up as she looked at him. the way his chest looked as though it was going to burst through the fabric of his shirt, or how she could see his sky blue eyes from eight meters away, "glad you guys could make it. picked a perfect day, everyone's around."

"why don't I take hunter down through the compound so he can get the full tour," sam grinned down at the beaming boy, "will you be joining us, ms. osborne?"

oh no. if she went, her mind wouldn't be able to handle it. the idea of walking around with her son in a place like this was already overwhelming. feeling as though she should be able to do more to give him the luxury life he so badly deserved. making him feel as though he was the king of the world. not to mention, the entire place itself was a lot to take in. and with her anxiety already running high today, it would be better for lily's mind and heart to wait out in the car or something. plus, hunter was with the falcon, she had no worries.

"it's okay, you two go have fun, I'll wait in the car." lily said, a tight smile pulling at the sides of her lips as she ran a thumb across her sons chin, nodding for him to follow the superhero. and as if he was in a trance, hunter followed sam like a zombie, or may a dog following a treat. either would work in this scenario.

"oh no don't go wait in your car, come sit with us. I'm sure bucky wouldn't mind seeing you again, after your run in's yesterday," steve smiled, making lily's knees feel like they had miraculously turned into jello, "he's making blueberry pancakes for a part of the team."

lily's mouth ran dry. blueberry pancakes. just like the ones she had gotten the day prior. the ones he had asked her about. her cheeks grew hot as a magenta colour blush forced itself onto them, giving away the embarrassment and intrigue she had. it couldn't have been anything. he was just making blueberry pancakes. that's normal. it was an average thing for people to do. especially when you've got nothing else to do. right?

"he knew you may have been coming, that's why he made them." steve whispered as he offered his arm for lily, beginning to lead her towards the kitchen.

so he did make them on purpose.


	8. the one with the burnt pancakes

coming out of a divorce unscathed was more uncommon than it's counterpart. typically, a bit of baggage attaches itself onto one or both parties. no matter whether or not divorce rates are through the roof in today's modern era, it still hurt more than words could really describe. especially when it's due to an affair. it creates this sense of unworthiness, and as though you weren't good enough. and when the pair has a child, it makes it ten times more difficult. knowing that you'll have to break it to the child that their parents will no longer be together, and that they will most likely spend more time with one in comparison to the other.

but, when your child already has a bit of a distaste towards your partner, it can make the blow a little softer. sure, every mother wants their child to have a relationship with their father, other mom, etc. whatever the situation is, parents want that. they want to be able to see their child's face when they see their ex-spouse, but sometimes, there's nothing you can do about it. especially when your ex never put in the effort to begin with.

above all, your perception of love changes. and that's exactly what happened to lily. she lost all belief in herself, and didn't believe she could ever find someone who would love her, along with the baggage that she carried alongside her. and that broken heart that she has yet to mend, and honestly, she wasn't sure if she'd ever find someone who could help. to cup warm hands around the two halves, and hold them together until they combined once again.

other things she deemed impossible, was her sitting in a kitchen with the avengers. earths mightiest heroes. the people that destroyed an entire army. traveled to space. some even having been literally ripped out of time and thrown into different roles and time periods. these people had stories people couldn't even dream of, lived lives people only wished to be able to experience. and here sat lily, a single mother of an 11 year old boy, who lived in a domestic area, and worked as a pediatrician. she was minuscule in comparison to the gods and soldiers that sat around her.

"so, is hunters father around?" a soft voice asked, an accent dripping from the words. it had pulled lily out of her thoughts of astonishment, as she tried to wrap her head around what was currently happening.

"hm? oh, no," lily spoke, her voice as soft as the gentle ripple of a pond, while she sipped the coffee they had given her. glancing up, a few of the superheroes looked at her with inquisitive eyes, wondering where he may be, or if he even was to be anymore, "we uh, we divorced four years ago."

"I'm sorry to hear that," the girl continued. lily had placed her as scarlet witch, or wanda maximoff. hunter adored her. he ranted and raved about how cool her abilities were and how she could probably take down an entire army by herself if she wanted to, "he's cute. I've always wanted kids."

lily nodded along as the conversation continued around her. she stayed as silent as a sleeping lamb, her green eyes glancing around as she tapped her fingers against her coffee mug. she wasn't sure what they wanted her to say, actually. it's been proven time and time again that lily was the farthest from a talker. deep inside of her mind, the little voice of self-doubt had convinced her that no one actually cared about what she had to say. that the only reason people even spoke to her to begin with was because it was polite. but she's also been told that the world around her found that shy demeanor endearing, and mysterious. as if she held secrets behind those sealed lips, when in reality, lily was scared that if she spoke, she'd create secrets. letting the world in on the pain she hid, that she kept locked away in a vault deep within her mind. protecting herself from being destroyed again.

"...so if you ever need a babysitter," wanda's voice sang again, yanking lily away from her deeper thoughts once again, as though the two were tethered. the young blonde's attention perked up as the young girl continued speaking, "I'm your girl."

was the scarlet witch, offering to babysit lily's eleven year old? as in, seriously? like to pick him up or come down from upstate new york to deliberately take care of him? if it weren't for the fact lily rarely left the house, and if she did, it was with hunter, she may have actually considered the idea. but lily wasn't one to go out. the noise that came along with the idea of partying or going out on the town always got lily's heart beating at a much to fast pace. if she was going out, it was to gen's cafe, or with three glasses of wine down and a whole bottle to go. the world was loud and intimidating, and could easily crush lily's fragile heart and mind with a simple touch. and where would that lead her? no where good, that's where.

"oh that's sweet, but I don't typically go out, and when I do, he comes with." lily stated, lips forming a tight smile as she ran her finger along the circular hole atop her mug.

"really? a girl that's as beautiful as you must get tons of guys and go out on dates. and I see no ring on that finger," the infamous tony stark teased while shifting his weight to look at the blonde, "unless there's already a lucky fella." 

a laugh of almost disbelief escaped through lily's full lips, as if the idea of tony stark calling her beautiful was too good to be true, "oh no. my best friend tries but I don't really date. already have my hands full with work and hunter."

"where do you work?" steve's voice now chimed in, pushing off the counter he leaned on as bucky worked away, staying silent. he hadn't spoken a word to lily since steve walked her through the threshold of the kitchen, merely a gruff hi before returning to the feverish work he was doing on the pancakes. it was as though he was trying to make them absolutely perfect.

"I'm a pediatrician at Mount Sinai Kravis Children's Hospital down in manhattan." lily answered, her eyes averting from looking at any of the intimidating people around her. why were they so interested in her? why did they seriously care so much about her personal life? she just brought hunter here for a tour, not an interrogation...was this what people did? like...they actually wanted to learn more about her? it didn't make sense, she was pretty basic. there was nothing special to her, lily thought. 

"oh that's awesome. I have a fe-"

"SHIT!"

the large outburst caused everybody to immediately turn their attention to where it came from. behind the counter, bucky was waving smoke away from his face that seemed to be billowing from the pan on the stove. he burnt the pancakes. lily felt a small smile tug at the corners of her lips as she watched him throw a towel at the counter, his face turning a crisp shade of red, like a cherry. the moment his eyes landed on her though, his entire body lit up in a hue of pink it seemed. he grew flustered, biting down on this ever so soft lips he had. lily was only human, she couldn't help but avert her eyes down to the thin layer of skin. and as if on cue, wanda let her voice ring through the kitchen.

"damn it barnes! I told you not to cook, and you decide to challenge your abilities in front of our guest?" the brunette exclaimed while standing from her chair, going to help the built man clean his mess.

a few of the others in the room whined, and lily guessed they had been waiting for a bit to eat. she felt a twang of guilt deep within her, as though it was her fault. but it really wasn't, she wasn't the one making the pancakes. no, she was merely answering the personal questions they all seemed to have for her, as well as constantly glancing at the hall or behind her to see if hunter was on his way back. instead, he was now outside with sam, looking at all of the different artifacts and things that weren't able to be kept inside of the compound.

"you much of a chef, lily?" james rhodes (warmachine, she reminded herself), asked. no matter the amount of mental effort it took, lily couldn't help but allow the tinge of rose decorate her full cheeks. they really seemed to want to get to know her, and she felt almost...accepted? no, maybe more so welcomed, by these beings of immense power and ability. she allowed her shoulders to relax, and her grip on her mug lessened.

"nothing impressive, but I do know my way around a kitchen," she responded, tilting her head to the side, causing her blonde locks to dance across her shoulder, "most nights, I try to make homemade meals for hunt and I. it's important for a child's development." she finished, but noticed how all of their eyes were glued to her. raising her left eyebrow ever so gently, she let a giggle escape from her throat, "but sometimes I give in and order pizza."

"you should help bucky out, he's never been the best cook. got used to boiling everything in the fifties, so he makes a mean hot dog," steve teased, sauntering over in all of his captain america excellence, "anything else? completely lost on him."

"it's a good skill to have. but difficult to master, I suppose." lily shrugged, crossing her legs over one another as she rested her elbow on the glass table, cupping her chin as she sipped the hot liquid in her cup. she couldn't seem, however, to take her eyes off of the culprit of the burnt pancake smell. the way the muscles in his neck rippled whenever he clenched his jaw. how his metal arm glinted as a small stream of light entered through a window, creating a bright reflection. how his scruff along his chiseled chin seemed to be a bit overgrown underneath.

her mind began to wander momentarily, a gentle and soft vision dancing itself into her brain. him sitting on a chair in her bathroom, lily sitting comfortably on his lap, facing him. his eyes sleepy and hair unkempt. her skilled and nimble hand resting on the side of his face as she trimmed underneath his jaw, getting those areas he seemed to miss. his lips parted as he seemed to slowly drift off again, as though lily's gentle hands were willing him to...

a hand waving in front of her face snatched lily out of her odd fantasy land. she cleared her throat and looked around her, eyebrows knitting together in confusion, as though she had been paying attention to the whole conversation she just missed. holding her lips inside of her mouth, lily shifted once again in her seat, attempting to play it cool as the blush that had formed on her cheeks seemed to grow rapidly.

"sorry, could you repeat what you said?" she asked, her voice weak as her eyes shifted to look at the man behind the counter once again. she couldn't help it...he was beautiful. 

"I said you should help buck out making the pancakes. most of us haven't eaten, and if you're as good as you say, maybe you can help." steve grinned, a knowing glint in his sky blue eyes. the way he looked at lily, as though he could see inside of her head, sent a shiver down her spine. the idea of anyone knowing where her mind just wandered was basically mortifying for her. being such a conservative person, the idea of that getting out? yeah, no.

"oh no I shouldn't...I'm positive he's capable of making pancakes." lily chuckled, her voice cracking halfway through. this caught everyone's interest, and lily had to hide her face with her mug as the dark liquid slid its way down her throat.

"he isn't. we don't normally let him in the kitchen. c'mon lily, show us whatchu got." steve continued to pry, leaning back in his chair as the others encouraged the entire idea.

lily's head turned back to where bucky stood, an almost pleading yet bashful look gracing his perfectly sculpted features. just the way his eyes seemed to call out for her, was enough to allow the eldest osborne to give in to the peer pressure of her new acquaintances. that was something lily believed to be impossible, being friends with these heroes. these people that laid their life on the ground multiple times, saving her and her son by protecting the world around them. she was in debt to this group, everybody was. they've kept them protected for countless years. but how would one even begin to thank them?

"okay okay, I'll do it," lily mumbled, finishing her drink before pushing herself out of the chair that probably cost the same amount as her dog. she pulled a hair tie from her wrist and securing the blonde locks at the nape of her neck as she gracefully floated towards the kitchen. glancing around, she couldn't help but let out a laugh at how expensive the items around her were. sure, she didn't live in a house with run down appliances, but these were top of the line, high end, see on food channel things. a far reach from lily's budget, "well first of all, bucky, you need to turn on the fan."

after preparing everything to ensure not only safety, but also to optimize space and time, lily turned towards the man she had just moments ago day dreamed of. for a moment, she found herself lost in those steel blue eyes he had. as though he had captured the moon and made them his own, adding a tinge of the blue from the sky above. how with every flicker across her face, a story was told. the pain and suffering he had endured etched into the dips and creases of his face, especially around those beautiful orbs. a part of her wished that the other members of the group were gone, and that she could griped the sides of his face and kiss those lips he kept licking. his tongue darting out to wet them, creating a slight chapped ring around the pink layer of skin.

"hey if you two are done gazing into each others eyes and looking like hollister models, the rest of us are hungry." starks voice rang, snapping lily out of the trance the ex-soldier had put her under for a few seconds.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, coke can," bucky muttered while turning his gaze away from lily's and focused on washing the blueberries, "I'm just cleaning fruit."


	9. the one with the sister

"no! you flip them after three minutes, or when you see bubbles popping across the top!" lily laughed as she nudged the taller man that was arguing against her. he seemed to flinch gently at the way her arm brushed against the cool metal of his prosthetic, causing goosebumps to pop up on her fair skin, "too long on one side will cause it to burn."

she could feel his eyes baring down into her. trying to read her small movements and the different mannerisms she had. trying to decipher the thoughts that ran through her head at a mile a minute. he was studying her, learning about her, just simply by watching. the way her hands gripped onto the spatula firmly, but not too hard. how frail and thing her fingers were, the way her neck dipped gently before hitting her collarbone. the marks under her eyes, more likely than not, being results of countless hours at work. the dips in her cheeks whenever her slightly dry lips upturned into that charming half smile she did. 

but most importantly, how her chest would rise and fall at a quicker rate when someone spoke directly to her. her mouth parting gently as the rapid breaths were sucked in and pushed out. the tinge of pink that hid beneath the surface of her cheeks, creating a rose hue around her.

"and done." lily stated, flipping the final pancake onto the stack that sat opposite of the two, ready to be devoured by the enhanced individuals around her.

the second lily placed the plate at the end of the bar, the team snatched them away in seconds, including bucky. lily pursed her lips and slid her hands across the soft material of the grey kitchen towel that sat in front of her on the silver counter tops. watching everybody's eyebrows perk up in a positive manner, cause lily's pure heart to swell three sizes larger. knowing that it was because of something she created alongside the man that had luckily grabbed her attention. something no one has really ever been able to do for the last four years of her life. it was...surprising.

ever since her divorce, lily has busied herself twenty-four seven. denying that there were still fresh wounds carved into her heart like preteens initials carved into a bridge. the damage done to her self-esteem becoming borderline permanent, because she refuses to acknowledge the fact that it's even there. lily had convinced herself, that if she were to admit the pain she was in, and come to terms with the suffering she had been through, scott would win. he would succeed in breaking her completely, which seemed to be his goal from the moment they met. to take that joyful innocence of lily's personality and twist it into something darker, colder, and more damaging. but if she continued to act as though there was nothing wrong, that she had healed from the divorce...then he wouldn't win. he would continue to be the jerk who was unsuccessful in his plan to manipulate her personality, and destroy her internally.

whether she admitted it out loud or not, lily knew, deep down inside of her heart and soul, that he had done exactly that. and by ignoring, a beast was created. a hungry, no, ravenous, monster of insecurity and self-pity, feeding off of the anxiety that coursed through lily's veins on a day to day basis. growing stronger as the days passed, absorbing more and more of lily's once peaceful and loving personality, turning her into a distant, self-loathing, ball of pain. all because of one man who managed to entwine himself into her life, and rip it apart form the inside.

"these are amazing, lily. much better than bucks," steve teased, shoveling another fork-full of pancake into his mouth, "they kind of taste like the ones we had at a nice little cafe yesterday."

lily nodded along as he spoke, but didn't find herself looking at him. instead, her eyes wandered to the scruffy man that sat to his left. hand gripping the fork with an indescribable amount of care, as though he would break it if he held on too tight. lily figured it was due to the fact he was a trained killer, an assassin for all of those years of his life. being a doctor, she dealt with psychiatric issues in children, but adults and youths aren't that different when it came to mental health and damage done to their brain. she could tell from his gentle lingering over everything, that he believed he was still dangerous. tip-toeing through life, praying he wouldn't cause a ripple in the waters around him, sending off tidal waves.

"yes, that's where you met my son. my best friend, gen, owns the cafe," lily commented, letting her blonde tresses out from the constricting pony-tail she had wrapped around it, "I helped her create the recipe for them."

just as the captain went to make another comment, a small body crashed itself into lily's legs. she gripped onto the counters as her son hugged her shins, a bright and beaming smile evident on his face. chuckling gently, lily ruffled the soft blonde locks that laid atop of his youthful face. it had been ages since she had seen a smile like that grace hunter's facial features. to see him so genuinely happy, and letting those emotions shine through in their raw state. his breath was quick, and lily assumed it was due to the tour, before bending down to his level.

"did you say thank you to mr. wilson for taking you around?" lily whispered, adjusting the boys jean jacket while her dark green eyes glanced over his shoulder at the taller man that had returned as well.

"mmhm! and he said we can come back any time we want." hunter giggled, his voice hushed as he looked behind him at the group that admired the two's current interaction. a few had longing looks evident in their eyes, as though the domesticity of lily and hunter's lives were something they wanted, or wished they had. others were in awe at the similarity between the two, whether it be the quiet tones, or their facial features. whatever it was, it didn't compare to the look bucky gave them.

adoration.

"oh did he now?" lily laughed while standing back up, sliding her hand into her son's much smaller one, "thank you all for letting us stop by. may have to come back again in the future. and I will send the pancake recipe to sam, so you all can enjoy them again." lily blushed, a common thing that seemed to happen with her. especially when surrounded by these gorgeous people.

"oh no, text barnes that one. I gave you his number, he's the one who's newly obsessed with blueberry pancakes." sam commented while leaning on one of the pillars, sending a quick and not-so-discreet wink lily's way. 

a nervous laugh slid through lily's lips as her head nodded along to the words that he said. giving curt and sincere farewells, the blonde lead her starstruck son back out towards their car that was parked at the end of the long driveway. when the two sunk into their seats, as if rehearsed, exasperated sighs were set free from their lungs. lily rolled her head to face the young boy to her right and a gentle giggle made its way out of the back of her throat, nimble hand reaching out to ruffle her sons blonde hair.

"nice surprise?" lily asked, glancing down at the rear-view camera on the dashboard of her car, backing out of the parking lot. her heart clamored against her rib cage as her mind continued to reel from her previous interactions. whether it was because of the interest they took in her, making the avengers pancakes, or the intoxicating smell of bucky barnes that permanently attached itself to the inside of her nose.

the musk. the hints of cedar and cinnamon, creating a potion of perfection to mask the smell of anything else around lily. how his breath was clean and smelled of mint. the way his metal arm felt against her skin, or how warm his flesh one was in contrast. the feeling of callouses gently brushing themselves against her in a way that made her wonder what it would feel like to hold his hand in her own. whether or not there hands would fit together perfectly, her soft and supple against his worn and historical. the man was a historical celebrity, a man that lily had to study in high school, alongside his best friend, captain america. and lily osborne had just made him blueberry pancakes.

"it was...incredible. I have no words mom, none." hunter beamed, leaning back in his seat as his hazel eyes glanced out the window at the winding forest that sped past them in a green and brown blur. his chest rose and fell at a feverish rate, and lily furrowed her eyebrows at it, before simply chalking it up to over stimulation. 

just as the doctor went to return a comment, the sound of her ringtone filled the car around her. her sister, rose's, contact popped up on her ApplePlay screen, and lily answered quickly. typically, rose only texted. and whenever she called, it was either something super important, or one of the dumbest things she's heard. most of the time, it was her gushing over a celeb who she had styled for a red carpet premier or photo shoot. rose made her living as an extremely successful stylist / designer who has worked around the world with names as big as the Kardashians. apparently, she had styled tony stark a few times, but lily figured he either didn't care that much, forgot, or didn't put together that his old stylist and this random woman were sisters. who would?

"hey rose, I'm in the car with hunt, what's up?" lily wondered as she turned her blinker on, merging onto a street.

"hey so I'm out front of your house and like kind of need somewhere to crash for a while so like can I go in? I know your system lets you know when the code's used and I didn't feel like giving you a heart attack." rose rambled, the sound of her chewing on her nails echoing through the microphone and out of lily's speakers.

"woah there, back up. why do you need somewhere to stay? aren't you living with levi? thought you two were going strong?" lily questioned, motioning for hunter to put his earphones in, in an event that this conversation became a bit too mature for him, even though he probably had heard worse at his dads.

a small and cracked laugh had managed to escape rose's lips, and lily immediately bit down on her bottom lip, knowing something had gone wrong, "well lily since you ask. he told me to get out of his house and life."

lily not only grew increasingly concerned, but became extremely confused. every time her and rose had spoke, the younger osborne seemed to be happy and giddy. and the two were close, so if there was any sort of suspicious behaviour, lily would have picked up on it. the two would facetime, and rose's boyfriend that was previously mentioned, levi, would join in every so often. so either lily wasn't as observant as she had believed, or something went horribly wrong very fast in her sister's relationship.

"go inside, I'll be home soon," lily stated calmly, her foot pressing harder on the gas pedal of her car, "tell me why he said that. hunt has his headphones in, I want every detail."

"I'm pregnant."

\-----

the moment lily pulled into her driveway, she tore open her door and rushed into the two story home she was lucky to afford in such an area in new york. her purse dropped from her shoulder as she spotted rose sitting comfortably on her sofa with joey, whispering to the dog and stroking the top of his head gently. running forward, lily practically launched herself onto her sister, frightening joey and sending him off to run towards hunter. the elder sister wrapped her arms tightly around her twenty-eight year old sister, causing a small tear to roll down the latter's cheek and onto lily's exposed shoulder.

"he was having an affair," rose whispered into her sister's neck, a small weep rolling out of her lips like a broken wheel rolling down a hill, "with his personal assistant."

sadness and anger had begun to grow inside of lily's heart. half of her wanted to drive to that assholes place and slap the living daylights out of him until his grandchildren felt the repercussions. the other half, aka the rational and sentimental half of lily, knew she'd stay home with her sister and be there for her. help her through everything. give her all of the tips for pregnancy, as well as breakups caused by affairs. her experienced hands ran up and down rose's back in a soothing pattern, just letting her get all of her emotions out. before lily knew it, hunter had joined the party. his small and cold arms wrapped around his aunt and mom, somewhat, and the three sat there for what I would say would be close to an hour. 

finally, lily peeled herself away and let out a shaky sigh, wiping the tears that spilled from her eyes, hunters, and rose's. clearing her throat, lily stood from her couch and brushed off her dress. there was no way in hell that lily would let her sister sit here and suffer. no, lily would even raise the poor child if she had to if it meant that rose was happy. one thing about all three of the osborne siblings, despite the large age gap between them all, they three were tighter then a screw in a wood board. the first people lily told about her own pregnancy were cedar and rose. whenever cedar was annoyed with their parents, he would drive out to stay with lily in the suburbs or with rose in upper manhattan. nothing could break the osborne children's bond, and lily knew for a fact her parents were proud of that, because having children that despised being in the same room as each other would probably break a parents heart. that was a part of lily's fear of starting a family, but luckily, she only had one child. so far at least. but she didn't have any plans to procreate with anyone in the near future anyways.

"c'mon, we're going to gens cafe. auntie rose needs some chocolate therapy right now." lily stated after feeding joey, before letting him out into the backyard.

side rant. joey loved the outdoors. but he was also an introverted dog. he didn't seem to mind when lily went out, and in fact, was always the happiest when he was left to run wild in the backyard, chasing the endless amount of squirrels that seemed to set up shop in lily's backyard. end of rant.

the three osbornes piled into the car once again, and set off into the city again.

\-----

when they arrived, lily noticed a familiar car that she had seen earlier at the compound. her heart beat rose and she wondered if she'd end up coming face to face with the avengers for the second time that day. her mind spiraled and twisted her into thinking they'd believe she was stalking them or something. that now that she had been to there home, she was obsessed with them. of course this was far from the truth, and wasn't at all what the group of heroes believed. gen's cafe was simply a staple in manhattan it seemed, and people congregated there often. and, lily's suspicions were soon confirmed, as the entire team were gathered around three tables pushed together in the side of lily's best friends workplace. 

speak of the devil.

"rosie! is that really you?" gen's voice exclaimed from across the cafe, causing many heads to turn into the direction of the door, where the three blondes stood. lily's eyes immediately turned towards the avengers table, locking with those steel blue ones that were engraved into her memory. 

and lo and behold, there the man sat with blueberry pancakes in front of him, and a blush tinting his cheeks. if it weren't for the lighting in the cafe, the rose hue would have gone undetected under the overgrown stubble that covered his face. something lily couldn't help but admire and grow to enjoy seeing. but it were those ice blue eyes that stared directly through her that sent the shiver down her spine. her heart picking up its pace as what felt like hours passed of the two just admiring each other.

"...so I'll be staying with lily for a bit." rose's voice sang, pulling lily out of her trance.

the hustle and bustle of the dinnertime rush resumed, and lily managed to tear her eyes away from buckys. the power he had over her was unmatched, and he probably could have made her fall to her knees if their little staring match continued...as in she was weak at the knees not in the perverted way. her legs felt like they were made out of jello whenever he looked at her, and once again, she barely knew him. if even at all. all that lily really knew about james buchanan barnes was the things in history books and his name.

but thanks to thor odinson, that would change very soon.


	10. the one with the party

now, nothing in lily's life ever really came easy, quick, or without some sort of repercussion. it was as though the universe had decided that she hadn't been through enough in her fairly young life already. which is why it didn't surprise her when the communication between her and bucky fell off, or more so, never really started. the day at the cafe had been nice, they didn't exactly speak and they were at separate tables, but even rose noticed the shy glances her older sister would send to the man across the way. which of course lead to teasing and taunting the rest of the night and for a few days.

three weeks later, she hadn't seen him. it didn't help that the hospital had scheduled lily for multiple shifts of overtime and staying late. which resulted in hunter spending extra days at scott's, and lily not being at the cafe as often as she typically was. flu season had come around and all parents believed their kid may have something more serious, but it was simply a lot of flu vaccinations, the odd time an appendicitis surgery. routine procedures, just a lot of work. 

and on a chilly day at the end of september, for once, lily could wake up without having to go to work for twelve hours or more. her son snoring gently beside her after crawling into her bed from a nightmare the night before, and joey snuggled at the end. her deep green eyes fluttered open as the phone on her nightstand buzzed like crazy. rubbing her eyes, lily's other hand reached out to grab hold of the device, blurry eyes seeing bucky's contact pop up on the screen.

with a groggy voice and a confused expression, lily slid her thumb across the screen to answer, "hello?"

"lady lily! it's thor! son of odin!" a booming voice yelled into the phone, startling the young blonde. her eyes glanced to her right to check to see that hunter still laid fast asleep, and to ensure it stayed that way, the doctor slipped out of the bed and out into the hallway. when she closed the door, thor continued on with his yelling, "I have stolen sergeant barnes' cellular device! I have overhead him and captain rogers discussing his feelings towards you!"

lily winced at the loud voice radiating through her ear. she hadn't met thor officially, just seen him with the others at the table weeks before. personally, lily wasn't interested in blondes, but no one could deny an attraction to the god. you could be the largest lesbian in the world and still would not mind getting down and dirty with the son of odin. but of course, for the most part, lily had only been staring at bucky. and it didn't go unnoticed to many, especially the other avengers apparently.

"I'm sorry? his attraction?" lily muttered, still attempting to wake herself up from the much needed sleep she had been woken up from. she wrapped her one arm around herself while resting the other elbow on her hand, shivering slightly at the cool temperature of her home.

"yes! this is lady lily correct? if so, then I have an invitation for you! sergeant barnes does not know about this, nor does anyone else. but it is our dear friend sam wilson's birthday!" he continued to boast, resulting in lily holding the phone an inch or so away from her ear, "and I believe it would make sergeant barnes happy if you came. and bring your friend and sister! sam has a small thing for lady rose."

before lily could even answer, there was a crash on the other end of the line and the call went dead. lily could only assume that bucky had noticed the conversation taking place and shut it down, leaving lily with a possibly life changing decision on her plate, but she didn't know that yet. all she knew, was that gen and rose would go to any lengths to get lily to attend the party, saying things like 'it'll be good for you' or 'you can see your loverboy again'. and lily couldn't deny, she'd love to see bucky again. but she'd be damned if she admitted it outloud.

\-----

after walking joey, the three osbornes loaded into the car and drove down the busy roads of new york to gen's cafe. scott was picking hunter up for the weekend, which meant that lily was free for the night anyways, so maybe the party wasn't such a bad idea? but if you could deduce anything about the blonde, it's that she hated large gatherings and commotion. it made her anxious and paranoid about something that could go wrong. plus, last time there was any real party like this in her life, she had been shown a video of her husband locking lips with a young red head who looked about half his age. 

"hunt why don't you go see if there's any treats you can bring for leila in the back," lily whispered to her son with a gentle smirk on her face, "I have to talk to aunt rose and auntie gen for a few minutes." she continued, ruffling the boys hair and sending him on his way to the kitchen around the corner.

the two girls that were sitting opposite of lily looked at her with matching skeptical expressions, both of their left eyebrows perked with interest as lily sent her son away. whenever this happened, lily usually seemed to drop a ball on the two. whether it was when she announced her pregnancy, being chose as valedictorian, or when she shared the news of her divorce. typically things that hunter wouldn't understand, or wasn't old enough to know or mature enough to hear. but this was mostly so he didn't grow saddened at the idea of his mother hanging around his idols.

"so I was woken up by a strange phone call from bucky barnes," lily began, and the two girls across from her simultaneously dropped their jaws. lily held her finger up to signal that she wasn't finished her story, and for them not to jump ahead and get crazy ideas, "but on the other end was actually thor. he invited us to sam's birthday party tonight."

this caused shit-eating grins to replace the curious smiles on gen and rose's faces. rose clapped her hands together, while gen just shook her head in disbelief. these two women were lily's closest companions in life. rose was her biological sister that she had no choice but to deal with, sure, but their relationship was more than that. it was deeper and held more meaning then a simple sister relationship. they could lean on each other in times of need and never kept secrets, as far as the other knew. most kids with multiple years between them aren't as close or never really bond, but rose and lily always clicked. mostly because of their opposing personalities, which was the same as gen. gen was lily's sister from another mister. from the moment they met they were perfect, and things hadn't changed in all those years leading to this. 

"well obviously we're going!" rose exclaimed, pulling out her phone, "I will get the best dresses from my agency and ensure we look unclockable!" the younger osborne sister beamed, while excusing herself to make a few calls, to make sure they looked as good as she pictured. rose seemed to forget that lily hadn't agreed to go, but deep down, the eldest osborne knew she didn't really have a choice.

"this is great! it'll give you a chance to see bucky again," gen winked, sipping her coffee. this was typically how the cycle of gen's set ups began, sort of. lily would stumble across a guy that seemed interested in her, and gen would stop at no end to get the two on a date. of course, lily never really seemed to have any interest in the guy that her best friend set her up with, but maybe this time was different. maybe bucky was different. and that's what gen prayed about as well, "maybe get to know him a little more. you get chatty when you're tipsy."

lily osborne drunk was a sight to see. all of the fear and anxiety she felt seemed to melt away with the ice cubes in her cup. that's why it was called liquid courage. one of the main signs of lily being intoxicated was her desire to sing. for years, lily sang in choir, but always turned down solo's, despite being one of the most talented singers that her school had ever seen. she was terrified that people would laugh at her, but if she was home alone, she sang like an angel. her voice was soft and supple, and her ability to harmonize was unrivaled. and both gen and rose secretly hoped that the avengers would be able to be blessed with the sound of lily's voice, because it truly was as angelic as she was.

"I don't know if I even want to go. you know I don't do parties, let alone one hosted by the king of parties himself, tony stark." lily sighed, twisting the straw in her lemonade around as she nibbled on her bottom lip. her eyes glanced up to see rose beaming out the window of the cafe, saying something to a designer or somebody on her phone. she looked so excited, and lily didn't want to be the one to take that away.

not after the past few weeks rose has had.

"c'mon, lil," gen sighed, as if reading her best friends mind. the brunette reached her hands out and cupped lily's frail and nimble ones, a soft and gentle look on her face, "rose is excited. for the first time in weeks. plus, nothing will happen. I'll be there, and so will rose. plus, I doubt mr. winter soldier would ever let anything happen to you anyways. buddies totally whipped."

"mr. winter soldier? really?"

\-----

after scott had scooped hunter up from the cafe, lily stole the two adult women away from whatever they were doing, leading them to the car. but, lily apparently wasn't allowed to drive. it was around two now, and lily had to get back home to take joey out on his afternoon walk. but no matter the protests she gave, the younger sister was the one behind the wheel and had control over where they went either way. lily accepted her fate and lean back in her seat, attempting to figure out where rose was really taking them.

recognizing upstate new york, lily glanced over towards the blonde that sat next to her. the young mom had figured out exactly what rose was planning in that mischievous head of hers. one thing with all osbornes, is their ability to not only think on their feet, but figure out what was happening around them without anyone actually telling them. the art of deduction, in a way. but definitely not that advanced, just piecing together their surroundings and doing the math. and with where they were, lily knew that rose had the genius idea to take the two other girls to a hair salon to get all nice and done up.

"yeah no, I can do my own hair." lily stated, crossing her arms over her chest and putting her foot down. no way in hell was she letting another person that she didn't know, do her hair. she had a perfectly good hairdresser down in the suburbs of manhattan, and was fine with just going there for when she needed a haircut. and today? she did not.

"let me check again...gen?" rose swiveled in her seat to look at the back where gen sat, attempting to hold back a laugh, "which one of us is the doctor and which one is the stylist?"

this caused gen to let her giggles escape as she rested her velvety hand on lily's shoulder, leaning forward towards her best friend, "rose makes a fair point. you specialize in children's health, she specializes in adult fashion. c'mon, it'll be fun."

once again, despite her protests, lily was overpowered and dragged into the salon. the moment she was asked what style she was looking for, she answered, beating out her younger sister in deciding what would look best. she requested a simple hairstyle, possibly a pony-tail of sorts. the hairdresser nodded along, and got to work. luckily, no hair was cut off or changed, and it was a simple styling appointment for her and the other girls. 

half an hour later, the three were back in the car, this time, with lily behind the wheel. the three sang along to the radio as they returned back to lower manhattan, where the suburbs laid. lily had managed to convince rose to do her makeup instead of a hire professional, claiming rose had the same talents as they did. it was true, rose was a wizard with a makeup brush. plus, it was fun to see her sister so focused on something like this. all of the pain of the past few weeks forgotten as she created a beige smokey eye on lily, an a darker version of the same thing on gen. 

after she glanced in the mirror, lily didn't believe it was her. she looked matured and awake, instead of the typical baby-faced ball of stress she was on the day to day basis. she stared into the mirror with a shocked yet elated look on her face, enjoying the feeling of confidence that rushed through her. she was lily osborne, full time doctor and mother, older sister to two siblings, and a survivor of a toxic relationship. but it seemed that all of that confidence shattered when rose pulled in a rack of dresses for lily to try on. all tight around the hips and bust, made for girls with hourglass figures who hadn't given birth to a baby. something that lily wouldn't be caught dead in.

"not happening. I refuse."

\-----

compromise. that's the lesson of this section. taking others options or opinions and your own, and finding a common ground. that was the foundation of rose and lily's relationship. learning to compromise with each other in order to keep the peace. and that was the end result of their dispute of the dresses rose had brought in. most of them were sleek and tight, almost like a second skin. and as pretty as lily felt all done up, she didn't have near enough confidence to rock one of the body-con dresses her sister had brought. 

in the end, she decided on something a bit more classic and lily like. a lake coloured blue dress with spaghetti straps holding it up. it had silver lace decals spread all across of both the lower plunging neckline and a-line tule skirt that hit just below lily's mid thigh. a piece of mesh fabric kept the cleavage that lily had tucked in, instead of placing it on display like the majority of the cocktail dresses rose had brought in. the deeper blue helped extenuate the green of lily's eyes, which was complimented by the light golden shimmer that laid atop of her eyelid. her lips were a pink nude with a touch of gloss to create a shiny effect, and her hair was pulled into a pony connected by two criss-cross pieces of hair, with two strands falling forward to frame her face. one word to sum it all up, breathtaking. lily radiated in her outfit, and anyone who saw her would have no choice but to agree. and if they didn't? they were either delusional, or lying to themselves, because she was stunning.

rose on the other hand, was embracing the small window of time she had left without showing the baby bump. she adorned a burgundy lace dress that hugged her curves like a glove and came to a halter top point around her neck. her golden blonde hair laid across her shoulders in a curly river, with deep red lips to compliment the dress. her eyes were done a bit darker than both lily and gen's, making her forest green eyes stand out as well. rose and lily were blessed with the looks of their mother. high cheekbones, plump lips and a perfectly sculpted nose that made most jealous. although rose knew her worth, and understood her beauty, lily had a harder time coming to terms with it due to the anxiety that plagued her mind. it created a constant reminder that she just wasn't enough, and to try harder.

gen stayed true to her out of the box aesthetic and wore a suit jacket dress that reached her mid thigh, with a pair of bright yellow pumps to create a splash of colour in her outfit. her braids were pulled into a high pony tail, and a darker smokey eye created a glowing ring around the amber eyes that she was blessed with. her plush and plump lips were painted a deep maroon, and she looked like a business woman who had men falling at her feet. when in reality, she was the most easy going and relaxed person you would probably ever meet, and would rather die than ever be stuck behind a desk at a corporate job. 

the three ladies corralled themselves into lily's car and began their journey towards the avengers compound a bit before the event started. rose had instructed lily to leave at a time that would make them fashionably late, to keep thor guessing whether or not his invitation was accepted or not. plus it built up the suspicion of the others around the man. somehow rose knew all of this, and lily guessed it was because of her extensive work in the fashion industry. having to tell people what will make them look their absolute best. both fashionably, and socially. and who was lily to really argue?

when they did arrive, lily let out a shaky breath before turning off the car. there really was no turning back now. they had drove all of this way, and lily knew rose and gen would be pissed if she chickened out now. plus, she doubted that they would even let her. honestly, the two would drag her in by her toes if they had to. out of lily's best interest of course. they wanted her to move on and live her life outside of work and of hunter.

"come on lil, let's go get the tinman to fall in love with you."


	11. the one with the roof

sometimes, letting loose of all inhibitions can be a good thing. it could help release stress and create a new sense of relaxation. or it could create chaos, and let secrets fall from loose lips. and typically, that's what intoxication did to most. and lily osborne was no different than others when it came down to it. the lock on her lips came loose whenever alcohol slides past them. but loose lips sink ships. which is why, before entering the compound, lily took a personal vow to not let a single drop go past her lips. she not only wanted to remember the night she partied with the avengers, but she wanted to ensure that nothing would slip out. not even her attraction to the winter soldier.

"do we just let ourselves in or...?" rose wondered after finally managing to get lily out of the car and up to the porch of the large compound. lily seriously wondered what they needed all of this space for. she understood the whole space for training aspect but was this really what they needed? seemed a bit excessive to her. but then again, she was raised in a modest eco-friendly home and lived in a small colonial style home herself.

"I mean I assume we knock? but maybe superheroes do it differently?" gen answered, biting on her lip before reaching between the two sisters and knocking on the silver door in front of them. no answer. she tried one more time, but all three collectively agreed that if they could hear the music from outside, there was no chance in hell that they could hear the knocks on the door, "I take it that we just go in."

rose's manicured hand reached forward and twisted the doorknob, pushing open the door to be greeted by loud music and warm bodies moving around each other. either dancing or pushing through to get somewhere else. immediately, lily's hands clammed up and her entire face burst into a bright shade of ruby. her chest heaved up and down at a expeditious rate as her heart rate picked up and air move in and out between her painted lips. she wasn't even in the party and already her nerves were starting to get the better of her. it didn't help that she was totally sure that this was all a practical joke to embarrass her in front of all of the avengers, and become a laughing stalk of earths mightiest heroes. but of course (obviously) this wasn't the case, and everything was being made up in her mind.

sensing the unease in lily's demeanor, rose and gen hooked their arms into hers and lead the shortest of the three into the compound. the smell of alcohol and a tinge of sweat hit their nostrils like a brick wall, a smell gen and rose enjoyed, by lily found sickening. she wasn't much of a drinker because of the fact she lost control of what came in and out of her mouth, and typically only had a few glasses of wine with gen or at dinner. but that was it. she never went to bars, never got wasted. not only because it wasn't her thing, but because she was busy with a baby in her twenties. something that most people her age wouldn't dream of until they, well, were her age. but lily wouldn't change it for the world, she got a beautiful son out of it and couldn't be more thankful of that outcome. if it were with a different person and under different circumstances, she might have been more thankful, but, you can't control everything.

"oh look there's mr. odinson- oh he's coming towards us." gen beamed while attempting to hide the excitement that grew in her chest, "oh would you look at him. the things I would do for that ma-"

"ladies!" the god boomed, cutting genevieve off from finishing her thirsty comment. his shoulders stood wide in front of the three girls, and lily barely hit the top of his chest in height. he was truly a godly figure and lily couldn't help but shrink her shoulders, becoming vulnerable. she couldn't help but grow nervous around someone like thor, he was a literal god. all she was a god at was making an excellent pancake, "I'm so glad you three could make it. go and mingle, I shall steal lady lily away from you two."

before lily could protest or tighten her grip on her best friend and sisters arms, they slipped away and into the crowd together, sending a wink back to the nervous mother that now stood alone with the god of thunder. her breath hitched in her throat when the man previously mentioned entwined his arm with lily's, leading her away from the entrance and towards the bar that was set up near the side. thor was boasting about something, but lily's ears drowned it out as the bass of the music thundered in her ears. peoples laughter and conversations creating a nerve wracking rhythm that danced through her mind. she felt the noises hammering away at her heart that thudded against her rib-cage in a worrying pace.

"...captain rogers or sam shall be here in a few to take you to see sergeant barnes." were the last words lily caught before thor took off to go tell ancient asgardian stories to the elder veterans that stood around a table. again, he was gone too quickly for lily to protest, leaving her alone at the bar, biting on her bottom lip like it was her last meal before death.

her hazel eyes turned from the ground back up to scan the crowd that had congregated in the compound, either tipsy, drunk, or sober. everyone seemed to be having a lovely time, except for lily. instead, she stood alone at the bar, picking at hangnails and scuffing her feet off the ground. in that moment, she believed this entire thing to be a mistake. her heart hammered wildly inside of her and she wanted nothing more than to go home and snuggle in bed with joey. and, if she had it her way, hunter would be there too. but instead, she was stuck here at the avengers compound, awaiting the captain america or the falcon. life was crazy, sure, but lily never expected she'd experience something as surreal as this. let alone want to go home from it.

"you look down, ms. osborne," a somewhat familiar voice echoed from behind her. turning her head, lily came face to face with sam wilson, aka the falcon. seeing a face she knew created a sense of comfort inside of lily, even though she didn't really know him that well. but he had been so kind to her and to hunter, lily couldn't help but feel welcomed by him, by someone who was just a genuinely nice guy, "why the long face? not a fan of parties?" it was as if the man was able to read lily's mind...because that's exactly why.

"that's an understatement. but I couldn't exactly decline an invitation from a god, now can I?" lily smiled gently, leaning against the bar with her hands clasped in front of her, elbows placed on top of the glowing counter, "plus, rose and gen would never let me say no. hunter's at his dads so..."

sam nodded along as she spoke, but lily caught the slight excitement that flickered across his dark eyes when she mentioned her younger sister. a small smirk pulled at the corners of lily's lips as she ordered herself an ice water with lemon. this too seemed to catch sam's interest and he leaned forward slightly while nodding down towards the clear liquid in the cup that lily held. it was cold against her skin, and she was thankful for that, because her hands felt as though they had been set on fire.

"not a drinker?" sam wondered, eyes glancing over the blondes shoulder as she sipped on the cool drink. lily knew that she'd probably be questioned about the fact she wasn't drinking, and her answer would always be the same. she didn't want to embarrass herself. especially not in front of this crowd of people.

"don't really feel like making a fool of myself in front of the avengers," lily chuckled, flattening out her dress with her pale hand, "happy birthday though. quite the celebration."

the conversation between the two stayed light and airy. nothing deep being spilled, and no mention of the elusive bucky barnes. whom, might I add, was currently no where to be found. despite lily's not-so-sly glances around her gave away the fact she had been looking for him. she wouldn't admit it, but she was secretly hoping she'd be able to spend the night getting to know the quiet man. he just looked like he had so many stories to tell, such character hidden behind those gorgeous ice blue eyes. anytime that lily caught them, she had always felt fireworks being set off from behind her, as though she had found the one that made her heart whole.

"and here comes the man you've been looking for," sam teased while nodding over lily's shoulder. perhaps a bit too quickly, the blonde turned her head around to spot those same eyes she had found herself thinking about just moments ago, "I see you got my text, terminator."

"how could I miss it, you sent me seven." bucky's raspy voice called as he took his place beside sam at the bar, turning his attention to the blonde that stood across from the two, "oh, lily. it's nice to see you. I assume that's why thor was on my phone."

speechless. no words formed in lily's mind to return back in the conversation. all she could think about was how beautiful bucky looked in his black dress pants and blue shirt that matched almost perfectly to lily's. the top few buttons were left open, exposing a bit of hair growth peaking over, and sculpted collarbones laying beneath the mans neck. with the way his chest flexed, lily was sure that the rest of the buttons would give way and pop off one by one, exposing what lily could only imagine. olive skin, littered with beautiful scars across a chiseled core. just the thought made lily's mouth run dry, which resulted in her chugging back the water she held in her hand.

"nice to see you too-" lily finally responded, cutting herself off quickly. god damn it. her voice had cracked halfway through the sentence and a heavy blush returned onto lily's face, her hands becoming slick with sweat once again. how did he do this to her? was it the eyes? the soft yet deep tone of his voice? the way he seemed to relax around her and sam? whatever it was, it had a lasting effect on lily. even after she hadn't seen, nor spoken to him in three weeks. and yet here he stood in all of his glory on his close friends birthday party.

"well, I'll leave you guys to it." sam grinned, patting bucky on the shoulder before leaning in to whisper something in the tall mans ear. this resulted in bucky swatting at the birthday boy as he took off into the crowd after thanking lily for the birthday wishes. thus, leaving bucky and lily alone at the bar together.

both were quiet people. bucky because of the mental trauma he had suffered for over seventy years, and lily because it was simply in her DNA. she was born quiet, never having anything more to say than what was required. in university, professors and peers tried and tried again to try and get her to contribute her opinion the same way she did on paper. her mind was so far beyond her years, and the intelligence she had was unmatched, but she kept it to herself. she saw the world as it was, and by keeping quiet, she was trying to spare herself. she saw how cruel the world around her was, and just how awful people can be. especially after the relentless teasing she went through in high school as a nerd-type student. the whole high school archetype was stupid, but lily fell where she did.

"I won't lie, thor dropped hints all day that you were coming," bucky commented while sipping his whiskey, taking a few steps towards the blonde, "part of me didn't think you would. but uh..." his voice trailed off. those mesmerizing eyes glanced across lily's face, as if trying to read her reaction. they dipped down farther to look at the radiating outfit that rose had pulled together, appreciating the natural beauty that stood before him. he could barely speak. but alas, he continued, "I'm glad you did...steve mentioned if no one else did, he was going to invite you."

so it wasn't just a joke. a weight seemed to release itself off of lily's shoulders as the man spoke. they were going to invite her hear one way or another. and he was actually glad she was here. not embarrassed or annoyed. it was as if he actually enjoyed her company? but lily had a hard time believing anyone enjoyed her company most of the time. she found herself to be dull and a bit on the boring and mundane side...but maybe for an ex-assassin, a bit of domesticity and simplicity was what bucky needed. an escape from the world of avenging and world-saving. to become the man that he had dreamed of being in the 40's. meeting a nice girl, settling down, and dying of old age, happy. but, neither lily nor bucky wanted to get too far ahead of themselves. this was only the second time they've really hung out.

but love and fate worked in mysterious ways.

"I'm not a party person, but rose and gen figured it'd be good for me to get out of the house while hunter was at his dads." lily responded, finger running around the rim of her water glass, deep eyes avoiding any contact with the man in front of her. her heart thundered wildly inside of her rib cage, throat going dry as he continued to advance closer to her. though she typically would, lily didn't move. she never worried that he would try anything disrespectful. he was careful, calculated. he knew already that wasn't who she was, but yet, stuck around.

"your son! he's cute. you two look alike," bucky commented, biting down on his chapped lips. lily felt his gaze on her and she couldn't stop herself from lifting her eyes to meet his. the stories they told, the horrors they've seen. he looked so forlorn and tired. part of lily wished she could steal him away and keep him away from the messiness of the world. the people that wanted to hurt him. give him the simple life with blueberry pancakes on sundays and walks with joey. movie nights with hunter...dinner dates. but his voice snapped her out of her trance, "you said a few weeks ago you and hunters father were split...mind me asking why?"

"what?" lily called, furrowing her eyebrows and leaning forward. with the music blaring and people talking, the blonde was unable to make out what bucky had said. her eyes focused on his lips, but to no avail, she wasn't able to decipher what he was saying, "I can't hear you! music is too loud!" lily exclaimed, exaggerating her mouth in hopes he'd be able to figure out what he was saying. maybe years of being an infamous HYDRA agent taught him to read lips?

he nodded, signalling that he had understood. the brunette reached his hand out in front of him, offering his flesh hand to the mother in front of him. lily panicked instantly. her hands were all sweaty and shriveled because of her nerves, and she knew it would be just too embarrassing to even think about putting her hand into his. if it were bucky's metal arm? well, maybe lily would have considered it because of the lack of feeling (as far as she knew). but it would have probably left some sort of residua. but, she had to think on her feet. something lily was actully quite good at. discreetly, the blonde slid her palms across her dress, riding the sweat from her skin, before sliding her right hand into his left.

where he was leading her? lily had no idea. he could be leading her to her doom for all she knew. maybe whatever the secret nazi intelligence agency that corrupted him had put inside his mind was still there, and lily triggered it. or maybe he was some creep, like most guys lily had met at parties and bars, well, the limited ones she had been to. that's where she met scott. in a pretty similar scenario. lily had been dropped at the bar by gen while she went off to mingle and dance, and a handsome man approached. a light conversation had started and lily was informed his name was scott harvey. her later husband and baby daddy, then ex-husband. a little voice inside of lily's mind told her it would be the same, that it's just the beginning of the same cycle. but a small piece of her heart believed that this was different. meanwhile, she didn't even know what this was to begin with. as far as she knew, they were barely even acquaintances. lily had only met him a hand full of times, and only knew what the textbooks told her.

so thinking this would be like scott? and that she'd end up marrying bucky? that was a preposterous thought. once again, she had just met him. and sure, lily had a history of getting her hopes up, but she tried to restrain herself this time. remind herself that there may be nothing but friendship here.

but then again, what did she really know? she was a single mother being lead to the roof by an ex-HYDRA assassin that had the abilities to kill her and make it look like an accident. anything was possible when it came to the people around her. what lily never expected though, was for bucky barnes to lead her to the roof of the avengers compound where a few chairs sat around a fireplace(?), underneath the stars. he gestured for her to sit, and lily complied without hesitation. before she knew it, the fire was lit and he sat across from her, a comfortable sigh escaping his lips.

"tell me everything about you, lily osborne."


	12. the one with the phone call

if we're being honest, lily osborne's past was no different than most. she was raised in an upper middle-class family. her parents were renowned scientists who were credible in their field and brought home their findings. other than her parents overly obsessive need to have everything recycled, there wasn't much about lily that was interesting or stuck out. nothing that she really believed to be interesting at least. two loving parents, who were still married. two younger siblings whom she loved dearly. a steady career and a lovely child. she was living the overused and overly generalized, 'american dream'. the only slight oddity of lily's life was how young she was when she had hunter and the fact she was only mid-thirties and already divorced. but other than that...she was a basic, domestic, woman.

that's not how bucky saw it though.

he found her astonishing. admirable, even. the fact she was able to complete a PhD level of education, graduating as valedictorian, at the top of her class, was enough to make his heart reach out to grab onto hers. but what really intrigued him, was her ability to be descriptive but vague all at the same time. she spoke about her divorce, but never the contents. never diving deeper than the surface of it. how she gained primary custody, and that it was due to an affair. he learned everything, and nothing, all at once. he was only able to make a general picture of who lily osborne was, nothing more than the basics.

"osborne you said?" bucky commented, shifting in his seat as he sipped on a beer that he held in his naturally warmed hand, "I feel like I've heard of the name osborne in the environmental field before..."

the commented he made cause lily's eyebrow to perk up. from the sound of it, bucky had just admitted to being a bit of a science nerd. the fact he recognized the osborne name just from lily mentioning her parents. it was endearing, really. the fact he let that little tidbit of information slip out, not even realizing he had. lily had made note of it, ensuring she remembered in case they were lucky enough to have conversation like this again. learning about one another, becoming more educated on their pasts.

but just like the supersolider, lily had secrets. maybe not as extreme, but none-the-less, they were secrets. she wouldn't give him the full story of anything. just the slightly important details. it was like a burger, sort of. she gave him the bun, but not the meat in the middle. the real stuff most, or all, people wanted. if she was open and honest with him, that would open up a case of vulnerability. and though a talented doctor, lily would not be able to cure it. it'd be the crack in her armour he could use to bring her down, if he so wished.

"probably from their discoveries about eco-friendly teddy bears. they still give me nightmares." lily chuckled, sipping the ale that bucky had given her. though she had elected not to drink, the small voice in lily's head convinced her that one beer wouldn't be too harmful. she wouldn't lose her morals just from a beer. she'd never been like that.

"yes yes, I've seen starks kid wandering around with one. they're terrifying." he replied, steel eyes reflecting the glow of the moon that provided them with the romantic ambiance that swirled around them. the whole scenery around them was more romantic than most of the dates gen had set lily up on in the past. it was genuine and natural, nothing forced or rushed to make it happen. but the demons inside of lily's heart were screaming at her to run, get out of there while she still could. but her feet stayed planted, and butt sat in the lawn chair. she wasn't going anywhere.

lily was still mortified of any sort of relationship. this wasn't one of those cheesy situations where the moment she met bucky, her fears disappeared. that all of those years of emotional manipulation and toxicity had just vanished from her psyche. lily hadn't changed because she met bucky. the scars on her heart were still there, and just like her, had no intention of leaving. sure, she was attracted to him. he was a fine specimen, had a voice that was as smooth as butter that created goosebumps on her arms. his presence brought a warm blanket of comfort that he would drape around her shoulders. but the pain still sat heavy on her shoulders. all of the damage scott had caused to her mental state and self image. they still stood, strong and sturdy. lily was still lily. the same girl who had been in a troublesome relationship and managed to emerge the other end. and that's all there was to it.

but change can happen. it's just not an immediate thing.

"you've mentioned that you've been through a divorce. how long ago was that?" bucky inquired, his phrasing eluding the fact he wanted to know more. he had a hankering for the knowledge of lily's past. to know what she's been through. what made her the shy and meek girl in front of him. what about her history created such a fragile state of mind, yet such a strong and independent visionary. a single mother, full time doctor, yet riddled with anxiety.

bucky's trained eye could see the signs. the tapping of her fingers, the shortness of her breath. the way her collarbone heaved up and down at a faster pace whenever she spoke, or even when he asked her a personal question. how she never seemed to make eye contact with him. god, he wanted her to. he wanted to see those beautiful green eyes match with his. memorize every detail of her face. the curve of her nose. the arch of her brow. bucky wanted to render it into his mind, so he would never forget it. so he could always have the picture of those forest green eyes in his mind. the stories they held. the pain they kept locked away. but she never would long enough for him to capture their beauty. if lily ever caught his eyes, she'd avert them within a millisecond. he'd watch as she'd turn her head, staring out into the sky.

"four years ago. seven years of marriage later." lily answered after a few moments of pause. her cheeks heated up in a red hue at the mention of her marriage. all of the pain she went through welling up in her throat as she attempted to wash it away with the beer in her hand. the words he would use were stitched into her skin, the things he would call her. she was a ragdoll in the eyes of scott harvey. he would take her lifeless body and sew in the worst of the english language onto her skin. it wore her down, the emotional trauma she suffered. but lily came out on the other end, broken down and beaten sure, but still alive.

"and hunters your only one?" bucky inquired, studying the way that lily fidgeted under his glance. it wasn't as if she was nervous around him, no. from the first time he met her she seemed to relax around his presence. it was something about everyone that made her nervous. she was a survivor of something, on top of seemingly just always being a shy person. introverted and hidden away. add the emotional drainage she suffered all of those years, it made her a shell almost. bucky was trained to catch small signals, the details others wouldn't care to look at. and all of lily's body was littered with the little things, the way she breathed, to the way her cheeks always held a red hue.

lily osborne had peaked the interest of james barnes. not just in a romantic way, though that was a major factor. no, she had different layers to her. different parts that all connected to create the woman that sat across from him. the way her eyes were slightly sunk in from years of work. yet her hands seemed soft and velvety smooth, the hands of a mother. the way her arms always sat across her lower stomach, crossed in a way that hid that small part of her body. all signs leading towards insecurities, anxieties, a constant need to have a wall up. not only did lily create an opposing side of bucky, but he saw himself in her. the part of himself that was locked away in a cell in the back of his mind. constantly doubting, reminding him of the pain he caused. but she wore it on her sleeve, as though it had managed to free itself and take over her persona.

"yes, he's my own and only. something inside of me knew I wouldn't want another with my ex-husband, so I made sure measures were taken so there wouldn't be a chance of another until I was ready," lily answered, crossing her legs and readjusting the dress in an attempt to cover the bit of thigh that she had revealed, "he's the only male I need...my son's everything to me."

whenever hunter is ever brought up in conversation, lily's heart grew four sizes. he was truly the rock in her life that kept her tethered to reality. if he was gone, well lily wouldn't know what to do. having a child so early in her life was never something that the blonde had anticipated, nor wanted. she had a whole life plan ahead of her. get her degree, get her PhD, find a husband, then start thinking about a family. instead, she got pregnant, got a husband, then got a PhD and her degree. the complete opposite of what she had originally planned for herself. lily was far from ready to be a mother at the age of 24, but she knew she could never, ever, give up her child. so, miraculously, she made it work. through hours of crying and yelling, trips to gen's and her parents, she did it. and managed to raise a happy, healthy, baby boy.

"there you two are!" a familiar voice rang after lily had finished her inner monologue about the love she had for her son. rose. and in tow, were a few of the avengers and a quite inebriated genevieve fairchild, hanging loosely onto a seemingly amused steve rogers. as the group paraded around the two, lily's younger sister spoke, "you lovebirds have been up here for an hour. gen thought you died."

lily let out a gentle sigh before standing from the couch that you'd typically find on a porch, but it was on a roof, and went to alleviate the captain of her intoxicated best friend. whom, lily could only guess tried to drink thor or somebody under a table. another thing about the doctors best friend, she never backed away from a challenge. even when it came to going head to head against a literal god when it came to drinking. it really sometimes surprised lily that gen had survived this long. but, if we're honest, it's because lily had been babysitting her for close to twenty years. that's about the only reason.

"I take it back. I have two kids. this is genevieve, she owns the cafe you guys go to," lily smiled, wrapping her arm around her best friends waist and leaning gen into her side, to keep her up. the last thing that lily wanted was to have her best friend pass out in front of a cute guy, as well as the literal avengers. that would just be embarrassing. not to mention, gen would have passed out and that would require a hospital visit, somewhere gen hated for some reason that even lily didn't know, "we should get her home. thank you for hav-"

"gotcha," gen grinned while shoving her fingers into lily's side, causing the blonde to jump. untangling herself, gen dropped herself down onto the couch while throwing herself into a giggle fit and lily's surprised face. the others around chuckled softly at the practical joke, before gen piped up, "told you she'd fall for it rose. every party we've ever been to it happens. and every time, lily goes all mom mode on my ass."

a conversation erupted after gen's comment, and lily just shook her head and joined the brunette on the couch that sat parallel to the chair bucky occupied. both lily and him seemed to stay silent as the group around them laughed and created a merry atmosphere. instead, they snuck shy and reciprocated glances at one another, both erupting in a fit of blushes anytime they made eye contact. of course this didn't go unnoticed, but instead of causing an uproar, the group just smiled at the two. they were like two school kids who had a crush on one another but were too shy to say anything. stealing glances from across the classroom and having nervous conversations filled with short answers. it was endearing, yet aggravating.

rose and gen knew the damage that had been caused to lily's perception of love. they were the two closest people to lily, and were there for every step of the divorce, each tear, each time she screamed into a pillow, each time she shot one too many drinks in effort to forget the pain that reverberated from her heart. the endless nights of lily calling one of them in tears because scott went out and had yet to come home. or when he did, smelled of another woman. but lily always, always, ignored the bright red sign that said he was no good for her. rose and gen were the two people in the world that knew lily more than she knew herself. they saw the flowers that bloomed inside of her and the beauty that could rise from the ashes if she just allowed it. if lily allowed herself happiness, they would witness the rebirth of her. see her smile for no reason again, dance around her house, and sing without the help of alcohol. god...her voice was angelic. but it had been ages since anyone had heard it.

scott had stolen her voice. stole the one thing that really separated lily from the pack. he kept it hidden as a token of the pain he had caused. a memento of the heart he had shattered with one hand while twisting a knife into lily's back. he managed to keep it locked away for years, and lily had grown weary and tired of fighting, and gave up. she stopped searching for the light inside of her he put out. she didn't believe it was possible for her candle of light to be lit once again. all because some son of a bitch decided to crush her life like she was nothing but a bug.

\-----

the clock struck midnight, and lily laid draped in gen's arms on the same outdoor couch. her best friends arm draped along her shoulder, a blanket that bruce had grabbed laying on top of them to keep the crisp september air at bay. everyone was having a lovely time ignoring the party that raged down below them, that had slowly began to dwindle down and grow quiet. now, instead of booming music with a deep bass, lily's ears were filled with the laughter of her new friends that surrounded her as jokes and stories were exchanged. it was peaceful, and at that moment, lily felt calm. her palms were soft, no sweat in sight. her breathing was steady, and her mind stayed on one thought. there was no spiraling, no intense paranoia. just...peace.

then her phone rang.

hunter's contact popped up, and that calm heart rate sky rocketed in an instant. not only was it an odd time to get a call from her son, but he was at scotts. if there was an issue, hunter would go to scott. this in itself sent that peaceful feeling that lily had flying out the window. throwing off the blanket, she slid her phone across the screen and stood, pushing herself up from the couch. excusing herself off to the side, lily's hands grew warm and clammy.

"hunt? baby what's wrong?"

"mama please come pick me up."


	13. the one with the man on the roof

all of her life as a mother, lily has placed hunter above herself no matter what. she had a long shift at the hospital but hunter had a flu? she'd get someone to cover. she had plans to go for dinner with gen, but hunter had a project due the next day? her and gen would eat in and help him. nothing ever, ever, came between lily's son and her. he was the center of her universe, and she would drop everything in an instant and come to his rescue. that's what moms did right? make sure their son is safe and ensure the best in the world for him? that's what lily did at least. she would go to the ends of the earth and back for hunter if she had to. no questions asked.

so whenever he called, especially when he was at scott's, lily's anxiety shot through the roof. not to mention, of all things to say, he asked her to come and pick him up. now, of course, she would not hesitate to go and get him. it was a no brainer. the only issue was the fact lily was half an hour away if there was no traffic, meaning whatever was going on at scott's would have to continue for a solid thirty minutes minimum. 

"what's going on baby why do you need me to come get you?" lily asked, green eyes darting over her shoulder to look at the group that was still seemingly having a great time. but she caught bucky's eye, and they stood there for what felt like eternity. his diamond blue eyes seemed worried, his eyebrows knitted in concern at the scared look on lily's face as she spoke to her son on the phone.

"that babysitters asleep on the couch and a man keeps banging on the door asking for dad," hunter answered, his voice shaky as he whispered, "I have leila in bed with me but mom I'm so scared please come get us."

her stomach did a flip. it took everything inside of her not to drop the phone and sprint to the car, not wasting any time telling anybody what was happening. adrenaline pumped through lily's veins as she covered her mouth. tears welled up in the tear ducts of the blonde's eyes and she made quick work blinking them away. her throat went dry and all of the saliva in her mouth seemed to disappear. her son was in danger. and scott wasn't home. of course he wasn't...lily wasn't sure what else she expected from him.

"call 911 right now. I'm on my way. stay where you are with leila. do not get off the phone with police," lily rambled, stalking back over to the group and grabbing the purse she had brought along with her, "I love you hunt I'll see you soon."

and with that, the line went dead as her son followed his mothers instructions. the abrupt actions of lily had caught the avengers attention as they watched her scurry around to find all of her belongings, muttering curse words and not so meek names towards her ex-husband seemingly. lily was a kindhearted person, she wouldn't even hurt a fly. yet the moment, nay, the second, it had been brought to her attention that her son was in danger on her ex's watch because he had decided to go to a party? that was the straw that broke the camels back. this would become messy, if she didn't lose her temper and kill scott herself.

"woah woah lil what're you doing?" rose questioned as she placed a gentle hand on her sister's arm. immediately, lily shrugged it off as her head popped up to look at her younger sister with tears rolling down her cheeks. a hush fell over the crowd like a heavily weighted blanket as the lights around the roof lit up the sadness and desperation on lily's face.

"there's a man at scott's pounding on the door. that motherfucker went out and left the kids home with a deadbeat babysitter asleep on a couch..." lily trailed off as the words escaped her lips. saying it out loud was completely different than hearing her son say it on the phone. it was really happening. hunter was in danger and his own father wasn't even home. 

a part of lily blamed herself for the events that were unfolding. if she had just listened to hunter when he asked for her to take full custody over him. to stop sending him to his dads where scott was hardly home. if she had just listened to her heart instead of her head, hunter would be safe. he wouldn't be in his current predicament. he'd be safe at home, probably asleep in bed with lily or joey in his room. she'd be able to keep tabs on him. make sure he was secure. healthy. safe. out of harms way. whatever you wanted to say. but no, she listened to the doctor inside of her head about the development of children and how a father/son relationship was important. but mostly, she blamed her deadbeat ex that put his children in that situation to begin with. not even just hunter, but leila! a three year old girl who had no business being left alone with a babysitter and her brother. she was a baby, and scott put his own entertainment ahead of his children. 

"that son of a bitch!" gen exclaimed while jumping to her feet and handing rose, the only 100% sober one of the trio, the keys to the car, "thank you for having us but I have a man to murder." the brunette snapped while making a b-line towards the door down from the roof, rose and lily following in her tracks.

rose's hands rested on her older sister's shoulders, rubbing soothing circles. it was something that the two have done for years. whenever lily got worked up and her anxiety reached a peak, rose's soft hands would grip onto her shoulders and run patterns and shapes along them. it reminded lily that she would be okay, that whatever situation that had caused her anxiety to skyrocket, would be over soon and everything would be okay. a reminder that no matter the circumstances, rose would always be in lily's corner, rooting for her and cheering her on. and hopefully, this small action would at least help the rapid heartbeat that pounded away in lily's chest find a steady rhythm. of course, then the all mighty steve rogers piped up.

"why don't we give you a ride on the quinjet? it'll get you there faster." he offered, causing a small tear to roll down lily's rouged cheeks. rose, gen, and her came to a halt and turned back to the group that looked at the mother with worry in her eyes. before lily could respond, the captain spoke once again, "or at least let one of us come with you...just in case." he finished, nudging his elbow into bucky's side.

even when an event like this is going down, steve rogers stays being a little shit. 

"yeah that may actually be good. we don't know if we'll get there before the police, or if scott is home," rose answered, glancing down at her sister, "you know how he is when he drinks, lil. you can't take him...and much to her dismay, neither can gen."

lily's puffy eyes looked up at her best friend who begrudgingly agreed with rose's statement, prompting the winter soldier to jog forward and follow the girls out to the car. lily took a seat in the back row of the car, holding her arms tightly around her chest as she glanced at her phone, checking the time. knowing that at any moment, she could get a call telling her the worst. or worse, getting a call from scott. just the idea of his face made anger boil deep within lily, which resulted in her bundling her hands into fists so tight that the knuckles turned a sickly shade of green. how could he be so irresponsible? they had been divorced four years. lily stood up for him. vouched for him to her parents. convinced her son it's good to visit. to see his dad and spend time with him. but now? god...lily wished he would just fall off the face of the earth and she would never have to see him again.

\-----

arriving in brooklyn a solid half an hour later, lily spotted flashing police lights dancing across brick walls of the apartment complex. the moment that rose had stopped the car, lily ran out faster than the flash. she spotted hunter sitting in the back of an ambulance with leila and the blonde basically tackled the two children in a tight hug. she held them close, whispering prayers to the good lord above. tears streaked her face, causing valleys to open up along her makeup covered cheek. she didn't want to let go, she wanted to hold her biological child, and one that wasn't even remotely related to her, and keep them out of harms way. 

"ma'am is this your apartment building?" a deep voice of a police officer boomed, causing lily to release the two kids to turn around and see the tall man behind her. his shoulders were broad and neck seemed to be the same size as lily's head. just looking at the stance he held made lily tense up, her mouth running as dry as the sahara desert. but it was hunters small hand gripping onto her's, that sent a rush of newfound confidence through her body.

"no, this is my ex-husbands apartment. I'm this boys mother," lily stated, fumbling through her purse and gripping her wallet. she tugged out her drivers license for ID purposes, leaning down to kiss the top of hunters head, before returning her worried eyes back to the officer in front of her, "did you get the person?"

by the tense look on the officers face, lily guessed the answer would be a no. tears welled up in her green eyes, and lily dropped down onto the ambulance between the two kids. the mother bear instincts that welled up inside of lily's stomach were yelling at her to go and find that son of a bitch who scared her little boy. smack him all the way to next week and make him feel the pain he had caused her and her son. but the rational part of lily reminded her she would only create more problems if she did that. she would be the one losing custody of her son, because they would probably deem her dangerous and arrest for...yknow, assault. for now, she would sit with the two shaken children, and wait for this to blow over and for the police to find the sorry son of a bitch who dared scare lily osborne's son. and then take the father of her child to court and receive full custody of hunter. because this...this was unacceptable.

but then a small voice perked up. a meek, scared voice of a little girl. shaky. and it came from lily's left side. leila. the little girl had spoken, "the roof." this prompted both lily and the officer's head to shoot to the side, and both spotted a shadowy figure glancing over the edge. lily gasped and held both children closer to her chest.

the officer called the others to go to the roof. all pulling their guns from their holsters in preparation, just in case the man was as violent and aggressive as the two children had described. as lily watched, her hands covering her son and leila's eyes as police stormed in through the front doors. but she spotted someone, what she had believed to be a police officer, climbing up the fire escape. but then the streetlights reflected a silver arm, sending a glare into lily's eyes. bucky. he ran up the fire escape with such anger that lily could sense the aura all the way from the ambulance at the bottom of the apartment building. whoever decided to attempt a break in or some sort of intimidation at scott's apartment, most likely, had no intention of ending up face to face with the winter soldier. 

"is that mr. barnes on the roof?" hunter asked, surprising lily. glancing down, she saw that she had let her hands drop in shock, resulting in both kids becoming witness to the scene. scoffing, lily covered their eyes once more, ensuring that whatever violence or trauma that would take place would be hidden by her pale and cold hands.

lily however, would become witness to the entire scene unfolding. watching from afar, she spotted bucky's metal arm gripping the figures neck and holding him above his head. a gasp escaped from lily's plush lips as she squeezed her own eyes shut. she had heard the stories of the winter soldier. the assassinations that HYDRA had forced the man to commit. they had made his brain into putty, molding it to their will so that they could inflict pain and suffering on whoever they deemed deserved it. but lily also knew that he had been saved. that the chemicals in his mind had been removed by a brilliant scientist who's name became blank in lily's mind. but seeing him choking the person on the roof, lily feared he was not better. that he still had those awful things in his head. that he was dangerous. especially when her child and her son's half sister clung on to her. as well as her best friend and sister watching the scene from the car.

but when lily forced her eyes open again, she saw bucky stand to the side of the roof while the police officers handcuffed whoever it was that had committed this crime. a little breath of relief danced pass lily's lips as she watched bucky retreat down the fire escape, landing on the solid grown with ease. his thick legs carried that gorgeous frame of his towards lily, and her shoulders tensed out of habit. but the way his facial expressions changed made her realize...he thought she was scared of him now. that whatever he had done on the roof created a new picture of him in her eyes. sure it did at first, but he corrected it when he stood to the side afterwards.

"they've got him..." his gruff voice stated, steel blue eyes avoiding any contact with the deep greens of lily's. he became timid, as though any small teasing comment would destroy any shed of confidence in his body. lily had no idea the effect she had on him. how what she thought of bucky was a make or break for him. she herself was so reserved. distant from people. that they were almost two halves of the same whole. but her view of him...he wanted her to see nothing but goodness in him. and a little pit inside of him continued to scream that she only saw the monster that he was.

"thank you bucky," lily smiled, something small and delicate that had the man become weak in the knees. but then she continued, and a small bit of his heart grew even larger and more fond of the blonde mother, "upstate is a while away...would you like to um...stay in my spare room? just for the night so rose doesn't have to do that drive again."

whether it was the beer that was singing a sweet song in lily's mind, or the killer adrenaline rush that she was experiencing, her confidence was through the roof. her fears seemed to disappear in an instant, creating a new side of lily. her son was safe and the asshole that scared him was in cuffs. alcohol plagued a small place in her mind, and bucky had just showed a new side to him as well. a protective side. one that he seemed to have gained for the osborne family at the beginning of this story. whether it was lily's infectious smile, or the way hunter looked at him like he was the entire world. he had vowed to be there for them. no matter what it was.

"oh...I mean if rose doesn't want to make the drive..." the man stated, his voice cracking halfway through as he glanced over at the other two girls that rushed forward to join in on the conversation, "but isn't she staying with you?"

"nope. tonight I'm staying with gen. girls night or something. and I don't wanna drive. hate it. terrible. you have to stay with lily it's final." rose rushed, pushing forward and yanking hunter into her arms, holding the shaking boy as she kissed the top of his head.

before bucky could reply, a car came to a screeching halt at the base of the apartment buildings driveway. a yelling man exploded from the car, along with a crying woman. scott and mary. whatever adrenaline that lily had left over shot through her as she jumped to her feet, standing in front of hunter and leila between scott and them. the taller man was huffing and puffing as his hazel eyes scanned everyone around them.

"lily, move." he ordered, face beet red as he stared down at the woman he cheated on. the anger inside of her eyes startled him at first. the mother instincts she wished to take out on the criminal deflecting on to her son's father. a little body pushed past both as leila ran into her mothers arms, and neither lily nor scott broke the eye contact between each other. all of the pain he had caused her seemed to grow to a head, and everything inside of her kept lily from reaching up and punching him square in the nose.

"you are a father. scott. the judge granted you partial custody because I asked her to. because I believed you would finally step up and care and love hunter. but instead, you leave a deadbeat babysitter home with two children." lily began, her voice steady and even as her bottom lip quivered, "a son needs his father. and you have been nothing short of an acquaintance to him. so congratulations. you just fucked yourself over."

before scott could even retort the the smack-down that lily just dished out to him, mary piped up. her voice shaking and broken, "scott you told me your mother was watching them. lily I met him at our friends after work, I hadn't come home." she sobbed, gripping her young daughter tight as she walked forward, an apologetic and terrified look on her face.

lily nodded slowly and wrapped her arms around mary, holding her close before letting her go talk to the police with leila. this left scott staring down at lily, who had gen, rose, hunter, and the winter soldier standing behind her. it took scott a moment to process the fact a superhero was now standing with his ex-wife and son. and a pang of jealousy shot through him, or maybe rage. rage that she had moved on. gotten over the pain he had caused. or so he thought.

instead, the longer she stared at him with a death glare, the more memories rushed back into lily's minds. the way he would stand over her as though he could hurt her. then claiming it was fine because he never hit her. or the way he would spit names at her after an argument. the way his fists would ball up. how he would punch holes into the wall that lily had to fix because he didn't want to pay for them to be fixed. nor did he want to fix them. the times she would place hunter back down in his crib and then fall to her knees in tears, remembering how he slammed the door and walked out.

"you are done being a father, scott. I'm taking full custody."


	14. the one with coffee

lily briar osborne. the girl that would lay her life down on the line for anyone who even showed her the slightest of affection. or even just said hi to her on the subway or something. she would never hurt a fly. never raise her voice or become angry. even when parents grew upset with a diagnosis lily had given to their child. but when it came to her son, her boy, the earth she, the sun, revolved around. that's when she would cut someone. she would go to war for hunter, and everybody who knew lily understood this. and they all knew never to cross her when it surrounded her only child.

she would even dare to take on the challenge of a six foot four, 220 pound, man made out of strictly muscle. lily osborne. the five foot five, 128 pound, meek, and frail doctor would throw down in an apartment building parking lot almost an entire foot taller than her if it meant protecting her son from his reckless tendencies for the rest of his (hopefully) long lived life. the surge of strength that ran through her veins rivaled the primal levels that a woman can feel while experiencing child birth. for it has been scientifically proven that the mama bear instinct is indeed a real thing women experience, their child or not. it is wire in a woman's DNA to place their own life at risk or face an unspeakable force if it meant protecting a child. especially when that said person is a mother, it heightens that instinct.

so the sheer thought of scott putting their child, and mary's, in to danger was enough to make lily a new woman. one with no reservations or any sort of anxiety holding her back. she wished to inflict he pain he made her feel on to him. make him experience the heartache that he had caused her for over ten years. together or not. the heartbreak he inflicted on her. the feeling of abandonment that hunter experienced at such a young age. and it all came to a head because he had decided to make the brilliant choice of leaving his children home with a deadbeat babysitter. and all she wanted was to strangle the life out of him.

but that would create more problems than it would solve wouldn't it?

"what do you mean I'm done being a father? he is my son lily." scott grumbled, his voice dropping a few octaves in an attempt to create a more domineering presence.

"he is more gen's child than he will ever be yours. the divorce gave you a second chance to be better. and you blew it. again," the blonde snapped, stepping back and draping her arm across her son's frail shoulders, "tell mary to call me if she needs any divorce tips."

with the final dig served, lily lead her son and the others back towards her car, where everybody piled in. but before the doors shut. one voice, one powerful and overprotective voice spoke out, "see you in court, jackass." rose's voice called from the drivers seat before gen slammed the door and everybody was locked inside of the car.

\-----

after dropping gen and rose off at gen's apartment building, bucky took over the wheel after lily inputted the GPS. seeing as he was the only sober one since rose left...being a supersoldier and all. lily sat in the backseat of her car, gripping son close to her chest as the car revved along the empty streets of now suburban new york. gentle music played in the background as lily listened to the soft breathing emitting from hunter's lips. the boy had dozed off not too long ago, and lets face it, the boy deserved to have some shut eye. he had just gone through something that would stick with him through all of his years. but one thing kept sticking inside of lily's mind as if stuck on repeat.

why was the guy calling out scott's name while banging on the door?

"want me to carry him in?" bucky's soothing voice cooed, snapping lily out of her thoughts. without realizing it, they had arrived back at the quaint style house that her and hunter called home. her hand halted from stroking the blonde hair atop of her sons head, and gave the man up front a gentle smile.

"oh that's okay. I've carried him from the car a few times," lily smiled while popping open the car door and scooping her son into her arms. she let out a quiet grunt as she stepped from the car, forgetting that he was still a growing boy. seeing as he was turning 12 soon...lily almost became tearful at the thought of him growing up. clearing her throat, she nodded to the keys in buckys hand, "unlock the door for me would you?"

complying, the three passed the threshold, coming face to face with a sleeping joey at the front door. lily smiled gently and stepped over the large dog that continued snoring on as she walked hunter up to his room, tucking him in under the blue captain america comforter she had gotten him for christmas last year. flicking on the thor nightlight that sat on hunter's bedside table, lily placed a kiss to his forehead before shutting the white door behind her. she slid into her own bedroom to step out of her dress and pull on pyjama's, scrubbing the makeup off of her face and letting her hair down. when she exited her room, her eyes spotted the kitchen light on, the blonde walked down the wooden stairs, feet tapping gently. her green eyes laid on bucky, looking at the framed pictures of the little mismatched group that lily called her family.

pictures of lily, her brother, and sister as kids. lily a ripe 14 years old, rose standing at a solid seven, and cedar still being a young three year old. his eyes flickering across to one of lily and hunter in front of stark tower when the young boy was only eight. or lily, rose, and gen sharing glasses of champagne at her bachelorette party all of those years ago. one of lily's personal favourites though was her graduation photo. a bright smile plastered on her face as she held her diploma in her hands. but the one that bucky couldn't seem to take his eyes off of is one of lily's least favourites. 

the first time that lily held hunter in her arms. her hair stuck to her forehead from the sweat of child birth. it had been a 27 hour labour, and lily's face stayed puffy and red as she held the freshly swaddled and cleaned baby in her gentle arms. tears rolled down her cheeks as the baby halted his screaming the moment his mothers heartbeat began to radiate in his ears. the god awful hospital light beat down on lily's face, creating a florescent glow around her already beaming facial expression. everything inside of her wanted to toss the photo off of the picture table and keep it for her eyes only. but her mother loved the photo, and managed to convince her ever so insecure daughter to leave it. alicia osborne had said it showed genuine happiness from her daughter, and created a new light. it was raw and real. and that's what everyone loved about it.

especially mr. barnes.

"twenty seven hours later..." lily sighed gently as she leaned on the banister, "I wanted to get a c-section but looking back at it I'm glad I didn't...but the pain is still a haunting memory." the blonde commented, eyes scanning over the pictures herself.

in each picture that was taken without lily's knowledge, her smile was bright. a warm glow that lit up any room that she managed to find herself in. it was an infectious thing, the doctors smile. it radiated kindness and sincerity. a certain type of authenticity that seemed to be a gift that was few and far between. everybody had become to hostile and aggressive with one another, but that one diamond always seemed to be found in a group of coal. and that's how the majority of people in her life viewed lily. she was the one tomato that would grow on the plant when you first started gardening. the rose that stuck out brighter than the rest. and even though she tried so hard to blend in and run with the crowd, lily's energy, or aura as gen would say, was too charming for anybody to ignore. much to the eldest osborne's dismay.

"you look beautiful," bucky began, hand resting on the side of the silver frame and lifting up the photograph, getting a closer look at all of the small details. the way the tears made her eyes light up like green christmas lights. or how they seemed to be made of stained glass. how he could see all of the similarities between hunter and lily, even when he was just born. the curve of their noses, the twinkle of love in their eyes. a bit of bucky's heart broke at the domesticity of it all. sure he was a playboy back in the 40's, but he had dreamed of a family one day. a small home and a dog. a beautiful wife beside him and a son and a daughter, similar to the life that lily lead now. but he wasn't sure if he would ever be able to find that, "just...naturally."

placing the sentimental picture back down, bucky raised his ice blue eyes to look at the woman that stood on the stairs. her golden hair tousled, laying perfectly messy across her shoulders. the pale skin of her cheekbones that were naturally coloured a bit red. how lily's face was so naturally beautiful, even with the faint acne scars on her cheek, the blemishes across her forehead and chin (no doubt from her work). the deepness of her under eye that was permanently stained a purple hue from countless late shifts and sleepless nights. the way her eyes fluttered open and closed as she attempted to keep herself awake and coherent after the hectic night that she had just suffered through.

"thank you. I didn't feel very beautiful in that moment though. just a lot of emotions going through my mind." she chuckled sleepily, bare foot landing on the cool hardwood of the main floor of her two story home. lily stepped forward, past the supersoldier as she herself lifted the picture from his hand to look at herself and her son. but who was missing from the picture? you guessed it. scott, "you're probably wondering where the father of my son is in this picture," lily commented, tears welling up on her waterline, "supposedly stuck at work. but I learned later that wasn't the case."

dropping the framed photo back onto her small table collection, lily kept her eyes down on the floor. she had grown ashamed (?) of her past relationship. how he had so obviously been walking all over her like she was a rug. and instead of standing up for herself and confronting the son of a bitch, she took it. for seven years, lily took the pain and emotional trauma that scott had inflicted upon her heart and mind. all because she hadn't had the strength or the courage to stand up for herself. to know her own worth and realize that she was lily osborne. one of the top pediatricians in new york. single mother of an eleven year old boy. the woman who graduated top of her class, all while raising a child alone in new york. the girl who came out on the other side of an emotionally abusive and draining relationship alive and in tact. she was lily fucking osborne. and she had allowed a deadbeat, no good, son of a bitch use and manipulate her like a pawn in his game.

and she was ashamed of it.

"and who's this big guy." bucky's smooth voice cooed, once again, reeling lily in from the dark corners of her mind. lily glanced over her shoulder to see bucky delicately stroking joey's ears. the dog had a stupid grin on his face, just enjoying the attention from the new person his mom had decided to bring into her home.

"that's joey. the other boy in my life." lily smiled, eyes creasing as she admired the way bucky interacted with her dog. though not much of a guard, clearly, joey was an excellent judge of character. lily had learned this when she once brought home a nurse friend and joey lost his ever loving mind. it was later revealed that that nurse was stealing money out of lily's wallet. and really, ever since that moment, lily trusted joey's reaction to people she brought home.

and by the looks of it, the german shepherd had a new favourite friend. lily's heart swelled at the sight that had taken place in front of her. the soft touches bucky made with his left hand. the metal one. it seemed as though bucky was nervous he would scare joey, or worse, cause harm. but to lily, it was one of the most endearing things she had seen him do in the entirety of their friendship? if that's even what it was. the two weren't romantically involved, they weren't close friends. they were more so acquaintances. of course lily was attracted to bucky, he looked like he had been sculpted by the greek gods. not to mention, he was a kind soul. he was sweet and caring. and the way he acted for hunter and the way that he treated joey.

"uh, do you want some coffee?" lily asked, scratching her cheeks with her nails, shifting her weight before walking off towards the white and grey styled kitchen with navy blue accents. her thin hand dripped the dark kettle and filled it with water before placing it back on to the boiling device. her deep set eyes glanced over her shoulder to see bucky once again admiring the pictures placed aesthetically on a brown stained wood table, "bucky?"

"hm? oh, sure. thank you." his voice echoed. it was a deep vibrato tone that sent a shiver down lily's spine. it was a voice that lily would love to hear in the mornings. one that she could only imagine would continue to drop a few octaves. small grunts as he stretched after waking from a deep slumber. cradling lily tight in his arms as joey snored soundly at the end of their bed with the light shining through the sheer white curtains.

the feeling of his calloused flesh hand and the contrast of his cold metal hand sliding along her pale and supple side in the morning. slightly chapped and swollen lips kissing her forehead as her soft breathing radiated against his chest. whatever it was about bucky, it had an everlasting effect on lily. it kept her heart beating rapidly and her face growing a deep shade of red that matched the natural rosacea of her cheeks. she longed for the feeling of his strong arms wrapped around her thin waist as he pressed gentle and generous kisses to her cheek and down her neck, creating goosebumps on her skin.

lily pulled out her coffee grounds from the cupboard and perked up when she heard the soft footsteps of bucky's shoes tapping against her floors. after the kettle screamed at her, lily poured two cups and took out the cream and sugar from her fridge and baking cupboard. turning around, she came face to face with that same broad chest that she did all those weeks ago. a small gasp escaped her lips as the coffee sloshed inside of the navy blue mugs she held in each hand as she bit her lip.

"I take two sugar." he stated, cool eyes looking down at the girl as she attempted to avoid any contact between them. when she moved left, he thought to do the same. when she went to duck around his right side, he accidentally blocked her path. it was an uncoordinated, unplanned tango that neither one of them knew how to end. well, that's what lily thought at least.

his large hands reached forward and grabbed the mugs from lily's. the supersoldier placed them on the counter island behind him before returning his attention to the much smaller blonde girl in front of him. without thinking, he placed both hands with no hesitation on either side of her face. her breathing came to a halt as he leaned forward and planted a deep and passionate kiss to her flower soft lips. his human hand threading into the hair that hung on the left side of her face, the golden tresses tangling into his fingers. her own eyes fluttered closed as she returned the pressure that he had initiated onto her lips. lily's arms slid around the mans neck as she took a hesitant step forward, closing the small gap that kept them apart. 

and after what lily believed to be hours, the two broke away, lungs gasping for air. lily's face exploded into a fit of red as she stared into the same eyes that always seemed to make her feel like she had a place in the world. even if she had only seen or even been around him a handful of times, bucky barnes made lily feel like she was the most special girl in the world, just by maintaining (or attempting) eye contact with her through those steel blue eyes of his. the same eyes that used to be hidden by a mask and glasses because it was too dangerous for anyone to see his face. the same eyes that had seen the horrors of the world. the ones that watched men and women die at his hands.

"your room is on the left when you go upstairs."

and with that, lily darted out of his grip and up the wooden stairs with her heart pounding in her chest so loud she wouldn't be surprised if he could hear it. it played a dangerous rhythm in her ears as she shut her own bedroom door and fell back on to the plus pillows and blankets that laid decoratively on her bed. lily's calloused hands slapped her forehead before sliding down to cover her entire face. the moment replayed in her head 1000 times over.

he kissed her. and she liked it.


	15. the one with the aftermath

"he did what!?" gen and rose's high pitched squeals vibrated through the cellphone, resulting in lily dropping it from her hands in surprise. lily had broken the news to the two about the actions taken by mr. james buchanan barnes just hours before in her kitchen. the way his callous hand and cool prosthetic rested against her pale cheeks, holding her face as though it were a fine piece of china that would break if he applied too much pressure. followed by the pressing of his petal soft lips to her own, creating an undeniable friction between the two not even lily's deflective tendencies could deny. all over a cup of coffee.

"okay woah let's relax there," lily sighed while finishing zipping up the flower patterned muted coral skirt she had slid on above her white lace tank top. her hand gripped on to a cropped red cardigan that hit just below the waist of the high cut skirt. a cute and simple outfit that encompassed the true aesthetic of lily osborne. one the girls on the phone disapproved of. speaking of which, "it was just a kiss...it doesn't mean anything, right?"

two conflicting parts of lily seemed to have be raging a war in her mind. on one hand, she prayed and hoped that the kiss meant nothing to him. that it was simply a heat of the moment sort of thing. the tension and adrenaline of the night had welled to a head in bucky and he made an impulsive decision that didn't mean anything. it was just a kiss. nothing more. nothing less. but on the other hand, lily secretly wished that the kiss was out of some sort of romantic feeling. that he had kissed her because the slight crush that lily had on the man out of time was reciprocated. and that he felt the same way that she did. but honestly, she wouldn't believe that if someone wrote it in the sky out of smoke from a plane. mostly because she herself didn't believe it was even remotely possible. a guy like that liking a girl like her? it was a cliche trope but she never thought in her wildest dreams he would even look at her in a way like that.

"you should totally ask him," rose chimed in, seemingly shooing someone away. lily had figured the two were sitting in the kitchen at gen's cafe, munching on pastries as they awaited even more juicy gossip from lily. but they would be sadly disappointed because the kiss was really the only news that lily had. but it wouldn't stop them from hoping, "he seems like an honest guy. he already kissed you and you kissed back, what's the worst that could happen?"

after a few more minutes of back and forth between the three girls, lily hung up her phone to focus on fixing the mop of golden hair atop her head. it was only 9 o'clock in the morning, and after the events that had transpired the night before, lily didn't expect to see hunter come in to her room or down to the main floor for another while. bucky however, lily didn't know if he was wandering around her home, or if he had taken off somehow. if the avengers sent someone to pick him up or something. but, after leaving the soft curls be and dancing across her shoulders, lily would soon come to learn that answer to her confusion before.

sitting at the birch wood dinner table sat bucky barnes and lily's son plowing down on some frosted flakes while laughing over something. lily stood on the landing of the stairs, heart growing even larger than it already was. it felt as though the beating organ inside of her may explode at the drop of a hat if she kept staring at the beautiful moment in front of her. a beaming smile on her sons youthful face, and a mirrored one on the stubble covered and worn face of the winter soldier. neither boy had spotted the blonde staring longingly at them from the staircase, and she prayed silently that they didn't. instead, she slid her phone out of her skirt pocket and took a quick picture, wanting to relive the moment a million times over if she could.

"mom!" hunter exclaimed when lily's feet hit the bottom of the stairs finally. he shot from his chair and curled his slim arms around the waist of his mother. lily smiled gently as she bent down to rest a kiss on his forehead before turning to the older man who too seemed to watch in bliss at the interaction. a similar expression to the one lily wore just moments ago.

"morning buddy, didn't expect to see you awake right now." the blonde smiled after hunter released her from his grip and returned to his seat. she bent down to pick up joey's dish, the dog's ears perking up from the mat in front of the door to the backyard. after she filled up the dogs food and gave him his morning kisses, lily found herself sitting at the table across from the brunette man that had stayed in her guest bedroom the night before, "frosted flakes this morning, hm? I thought these were only for saturday breakfasts and your birthday?"

"I pulled them out, they were the first thing I saw when I opened the pantry, I hope that's okay." his timid voice radiated across the table towards lily, causing her eyes to shift from her son over to the rugged man that sat across from her at the table. a faint grin spread along her slightly puffed features caused by her morning rise. for a second, their eyes met and the world melted away as it always seemed to do when they met iris's. something that lily was sure she wouldn't be able to get used to.

\-----

not too long all three had completed their breakfast, lily had to excuse herself. she had a duty to call her lawyer today and set up a review of her and scott's custody agreement. there was no way in hell, after that stunt occurred, scott would be keeping partial custody of their son. he left hunter home alone with a clearly lousy babysitter, as well as he had lied to mary about who her child was left in the hands of. everything about the situation was already unnerving for lily. one part in particular that just stuck in her mind like it had been superglued, was the fact hunter had said that the person attempting to break in to scott's apartment, or at least get his attention, was there specifically for scott. not just to play a heinous joke or commit a petty crime. no, they were looking for scott harvey specifically. and that one part did not sit well with lily.

but instead, she had a new york level lawyer to handle.

"lily! it's been ages since you've called. what can I do for you today love?" the man's raspy voice echoed through the phone she held to her ear.

carter evanson was the man that helped lily through the roughest parts of her divorce. kept her sane through the entire process alongside rose and gen. she had been so thankful for his kind words of encouragement as she would recount the numerous emotional trauma stories she had faced in her marriage to scott. how he hadn't touched her in ages. how whenever he came home he was drunk and always smelled of another woman's perfume. but lily never decided to look further into these things back then. he had made her believe that nothing she did would ever make her good enough. he was the best she would get. no other man would want a woman who already had a kid and a divorce under her belt. scott harvey had manipulated lily into believing she was less worthy of just about anything in the world, and she continued to believe it to this day.

but carter's kind voice created a sense of comfort throughout the whole divorce process. always encouraging her and remind her how good of an idea this was. that everything would work out for her. how she was strong enough to get through it without chickening out like she always seemed to do. whether it was his warm and energetic voice that would constantly play in the back of her mind when sitting down at scott's lawyers table, writing out their custody agreement as well as their splitting of assets. and because of him, the divorce became final and the majority of assets and custody landed in the a-line skirt covered lap of lily osborne.

"hey carter, I need to set up an appointment with scott to redo the entire custody agreement. something happened and hunter cannot go back there- oh I'm getting another call," lily continued, clearing her throat after placing the lawyer on hold and answering the call, "lily osborne."

"ms. osborne? this is sergeant harrison, we just interviewed the man who attempted to break in to your ex-husband's apartment last night and uh...we need you to come in to the station. right now if possible." the police officer explained, his voice reverberating through the front of her mind, setting off her heart into a mile a minute race.

\-----

arriving at the LAPD station, or more specifically, the 88th precinct, lily rushed through and up the elevator and up towards where they had instructed lily to go. she had to apparently see the culprit, so after convincing bucky to watch the young boy that is hunter osborne, she arrived at the precinct in a rush. the moment she heard the elevator ding, she ran out in a rush and past the small gate that blocked off the desks from the public. she saw the sergeant she spoke to on the phone and let her ballet flat clad feet rush forward.

"ms. osborne, thank you for getting here so fast." the large man sighed, neck craning down to look at the small blonde that had rushed through, "here, come with me." sergeant harrison sighed softly while leading the young doctor towards the interview room.

her walked her through the doors that kept them separate from the criminal that sat in front of the two way mirror. the moment that lily spotted the man in front of her, the young girl had to furrow her eyebrows together. the mop of blonde hair atop the mans head screamed at lily in a violent signal that there was something very wrong here. the way his shoulder slouched and the fact that she was unable to see his face because of his hunched posture. she figured he was too embarrassed or ashamed to even look at himself in the mirror that the police officer and lily looked through. but his body type, his hair, the bracelet that sat on his hand looked so familiar to lily.

"alright sir please state your name quickly so we can get this show started." a woman's voice sighed as she entered the room that was blocked off from lily's presence. she was a breathtaking beauty and it almost took lily aback before she reminded herself that was not exactly what she was here for. to be honest, she wasn't 100% sure why she was actually here.

a screeching behind her caught the blondes attention. the sergeant that had brought her in had pushed a chair up behind her, gesturing her to sit. saying a quick remark about how she may need to with what she was about to learn. it caused her heart to set off into such a quick beat that she was worried it may explode inside of her chest. whatever was about to happen clearly wasn't good news for lily. so she sat, and waited. and almost threw up. like for real.

"my name is cedar osborne."


	16. the one with the brother

the cool air around the waiting room shrouded a twelve year old blonde by the name of lily osborne. wrapped in her cardigan covered arms was a five year old rose, the younger sister of the eldest osborne. just to the right of her sat two conservative grandparents, only moments away from learning if their third grandchild from their daughter would be a girl or boy. so far, the two had only been gifted with granddaughters, two from their other son william, and two from their daughter, alicia, the mother of the two girls awaiting their newest sibling. lily had already been through the grief of a new sibling with the little girl that sat in her arms, but it sadly didn't transfer over to the second blonde born from alicia and abel osborne.

the small creek of a door just beside the many uncomfortable chairs stationed behind a small half wall and all four of the family members blonde heads popped up. lo and behold though, it was merely a group of nurses seemingly leaving from their shift. four collective sighs created a harmony throughout the robin egg blue maternity wing waiting room. a heavier head head leaned back onto her shoulder and lily placed a gentle kiss to the bright blonde curls that sat atop of rose's young head like a mop. glancing down, lily saw her little sisters eyes flutter shut and she let out a gentle sigh, running her fingers up and down the child's thin arms. just moments later however, the doors opened once again and a panting abel osborne came shooting out with a bright smile plastered on his rugged features.

"do you guys want to come meet your new baby brother?"

\-----

for as long as lily could remember, being cedar's older sister was one of her most sacred pride of joys. or just being an older sister in general. especially being so much older than the younger two. her parents were amazing, sure, and they always did their best with raising the three children. but when it came down to more personal issues and handling things like bullying, friends, or middle school, lily was their go to. and she cherished that fact. it was like having her own child, but without a majority of the responsibilities mother faced. it helped scratch that maternal itch lily had since a baby.

whenever her parents weren't able to, lily walked rose and cedar to school. she was even his emergency contact for high school after their parents, same with rose. when cedar began high school, lily was in her second last year of medical school before beginning her residency, and handling a one year old baby boy and an unhelpful husband, she travelled down to long island with hunter, and joined cedar for his orientation day when their parents were on a business trip. everyone thought she was his mother, and the two made a bit of a joke out of it.

just below a year before that, when lily and scott were scrambling together a wedding, it was cedar who had helped her choose a wedding dress that made her feel beautiful, even while she was four months along in her pregnancy. she was tempted to try and convince scott to have an elope, feeling as though she wouldn't find a dress that gave her that moment that made her face light up when she saw herself in the mirror. luckily, he helped her achieve it.

\-----

she didn't want to go. really. it was the last place on earth that lily wanted to be. every morning when she looked in the mirror she felt huge. she thought her thighs were getting to big. that her cheeks were getting larger and she felt puffy. all because of the beautiful life growing inside of her. it wasn't her fault. she was four months along in the pregnancy she was handling at the age of 24, all while planning a fairly rushed and impromptu wedding to the father of her unborn child. even though, if she would admit it to herself, she knew deep down this wouldn't work, and that he wasn't good for her. but she'd never say it out loud.

but today, well, today she just felt awful.

today was the day that she would be picking a wedding dress. after a whole week of yelling at lily, her fiancé, scott, managed to get her to drop the idea of eloping, and instead, funneling money into a wedding. on top of handling a pregnancy and her second last year of medical school. though lily had originally planned to handle this feat alone, feeling self-conscious about having anyone else there. but with her parents and brother now living in her basement, with her brother staying with them over the summer before he would go back to Long Island and stay with his grandparents until Lily gave birth, and their parents would move back home. well...her brother was the only one she couldn't get to stay at her home when she went out.

the boy had just turned 13, and was a pretty stereotypical pubescent boy. but with a much closer relationship with his sister than most kids with the age gap that the two had. lily depended a great deal on her relationships with her siblings, for she never really talked or even spent time with girls or boys her age outside of school when she was younger. of course, moving to new york city and over the past few years, she had expanded her bubble.

as the youngest and oldest osborne sibling arrived at the quaint wedding dress shop in soho, lily wished to turn around and avoid any sort of questions about the growing bump that was prevalent on her stomach. being at this store was the last place lily wanted to be spending her saturday afternoon. but alas, the tug of a boys hand on her sleeve persuaded the blonde to enter the shop alongside him.

after answering dreadful pregnancy questions from the shop owner, lily had found the dress. but her hands cupped the growing belly of hers, and those green eyes grew sad as she looked in the mirror. the dress was a spaghetti strap, heart shaped neckline, lace flower decals dancing across the organza type material, and sliding from her waist in an a-line style. it was loose, flowing, and hid any real evidence of a pregnancy. but lily knew. she knew what was growing inside of her. what she would look like within two months when the wedding would be taking place. her stomach even more swollen.

cedar slowly stood from the couch and walked towards his older sister, taking her hand and looking up at her with the eyes that made lily realize just how lucky she was. and with a shy nod towards the owner, lily had found her dress. all thanks to the young blonde boy she called a brother. and those soft eyes.

\-----

and ten years later, the two were still as close as ever. or so she believed. he stood in her wedding party at her and scotts wedding when she was twenty four. he was there when she gave birth to hunter. god she remembered the day she went into labour so vividly. and the boy who had informed her distracted parents, and who pushed through the labour alongside his sister, before the actual birth began. she remembered that day so vividly.

\-----

her hand gripped onto the pen she was using to take notes from her online lecture. being the top student in her year at medical school had it's perks. the professor's offered her online lectures and videos, while she handled the pregnancy. her brother and parents had taken over the basement, as they came down from long island to take care of their daughter, who was very obviously in a neglectful marriage. the cool winds of October whispered secret thoughts to lily, the window of her office allowing them in. 

as lily went to finish off a note about the fetus in a woman growing, her own decided to take a different approach. a popping deep within her set off a relay of gasps as water trickled down her leg, staining the loose dress she wore overtop of her swollen stomach. her hand smacked itself across her lips as a small squeak escaped from her throat. a pair of footsteps ran themselves into the office, catching Lily's eyes as he spotted the water dripping down onto the floor. 

"mom! dad! start the car! Lily's water broke!" cedar exclaimed, holding onto his sisters hand. the same hand he'd be holding for the next few hours. 

—————

maybe it was the feelings of betrayal that hit lily the hardest. before her sat one of the most important people in her life, handcuffed to a table, awaiting to be interrogated by police officers for attempting to break into her ex husbands apartment where her child sat, scared to death of the somewhat familiar tone of voice. or it may have been the disgust that churned deep within her stomach as she came to the realization this was not the same sweet and innocent boy she had last seen a mere few weeks ago when visiting her parents. a boisterous and somewhat playful smile far gone from his face that was now carved full of deep stress lines, with bruises evident on the thin skin below his eyes. this wasn't cedar osborne. this was a mere shell of him. 

"sir there must be some of mistake," lily laughed softly, gesturing towards the glass, "that's my brother he would...he would never hurt my son or try to. he's a nice kid how would he—"

"ms. osborne I know this is a shock but this is the man that was caught trying to break into your ex husbands apartment." the detective said in a calm tone, "he confessed to it. we just can't get any evidence as to why he may have done it out of him...which is why we called you."

lily stared at the man in front of her. her crossed arms dropped to her sides as a look of pure shock took over her previous exasperated and confused face. he wanted her to interrogate her own brother? try and get him to confess information about a crime he tried to commit against her son! why lily wanted nothing more than to smack the living daylights out of the police officer. but then again now-a-days she has had this happen often.

"you did not just ask me that!?" lily exclaimed, "he is my brother. and I know my brother, officer. there has to be a mistake. there has to be! and until you figure out what that is I will not be questioning the same boy that sat by my side at my sons birth when my husband wouldn't. he is not capable of this. my son is the most important thing to that man and you dare think that he would scare him?" lily exclaimed, chest heaving.

the officer fell silent. the look in his eyes said it all: he knew this woman wouldn't be interrogating this man. with a curt nod, the police officer spread his arm to guide lily from the room. her shoulders moved up and down at a rapid pace as she stormed from the building, her heart racing inside of her chest and pounding in her ears so loudly she couldn't even hear the loud noises from the new york streets. typically, lily would wait for an opportunity to cross the sidewalk to her car, but today, she bulldozed through the group of people, fumbling for her keys. the moment the ignition turned on, the tears fell.

the tears ran down her face non-stop as she drove through the streets of new york. sobs wracked her body as she continued to shake. lily had no way of comprehending the fact that her own brother was the culprit arrested for attempting to break into her ex-husbands home. sure it was known that the entire family had a distaste towards scott harvey, but the osborne's were a far from violent family. docile and subservient almost. it was only when lily pulled into her driveway when a memory fell on her like a ton of bricks.

\-----

'here comes santa clause' played over the speakers as the osborne family bustled around the cozy home of lily's parents home. children played and adults laughed over wine as the previously mentioned woman and her brother slaved away in front of the stove as they prepared christmas dinner. the two quietly chatted while working on their respective side dish, patiently waiting for the turkey in the oven to finish so they can begin to eat.

"hey how's work been going for you?" lily hummed, working her arm as she continued to mash potatoes.

"oh yeah," cedar responded in a gentle tone, "I actually just left the company." he continued, failing to elaborate to lily as to why on earth he would have left the job as an electrician at a power company that supplied most of long island's power.

"really?" the eldest osborne huffed, halting her movements and turning to her younger brother, "what happened to your dream of being an electrician?" she wondered, head tilting to the side a bit.

"offered a different job, better pay." he stated abruptly, turning his back to lily as he finished mashing the yams that he had been working on.

"I see...where are you now?"

"dinner's ready!" cedar yelled, ignoring his sisters question and pulling the freshly finished turkey from the oven.

\-----

lily felt her heart sink as she recounted the events of the christmas that had just passed close to a year ago. her hand slapped itself over her mouth as she came to the realization that her sweet and innocent brother may have very well found himself in a sticky situation. her mind ran to the worst place she could think of...what if he was working for a hitman agency? no that couldn't be right. he may be sneaky but cedar wouldn't be capable of a murder.

shaking her head, lily pulled her hair back from her face and allowed her breathing to regulate itself once more. god she felt like everything she knew to be normal was crumbling around her. everything that she had become accustomed to was falling to pieces and there was nothing she could even do about it. if cedar was getting invested in solicit and illegal activities, lily knew she would be the last person he would admit it to. the two had a relationship based on kindness and loyalty...and it broke the blonde's heart, the idea of her baby brother falling into the traps of something horrible. 

stepping from the car, the cool and brisk air of the season chilled the raging heat the flared in lily's face. locking her car, the young mother unlocked her front door to hear music playing and the dog going wild. furrowing her eyebrows and stepping out of her shoes, the blonde made her way down the hall towards the living room where the loud noises were coming from. when she rounded the corner, the sight made all of the pain and sorrow she was just wallowing in mere moments ago fade into distant memories.

hunter was stationed on bucky's back as they flailed around to an outdated justin bieber song that the blonde boy sang at the top of his lungs, igniting the howls of joey. with a giggle, lily dropped her coat and bag and made her way towards the pair, joining in on the singing and dancing. for once, lily allowed herself to step away from the burden of anxiety and enjoy the moment in front of her.

her eyes locked with bucky and she knew, that maybe, just maybe, things could work out.


	17. the one when there may be a future

lily didn't like the effect bucky had on her sometimes. she wasn't sure if it was the way he was so good with hunter, or how he was always so gentle with her. or maybe it's whenever the two were alone he looked at her like she was the only girl in the world. or perhaps it was the way his hands always lingered places for a second too long to go unnoticed. she couldn't place it. but if anyone asked how she felt about the boy, she brushed it off. they were simply friends. nothing more. the kiss they shared in the kitchen didn't get spoken about, and the two never felt a shred of awkwardness over the following few weeks.

but it didn't help that his lingering looks and her soft touches didn't go unnoticed by those around them for very long. lily had found herself living every teenage girls dream. she became friends with the freaking avengers. it didn't help that her sister had begun to get all friendly with mr. sam wilson, either. she wasn't sure if it was because of her lack of love from her ex, or the need for a rebound. but lily would be there to support her along the way, no matter what form her heartbreak and hormones took.

and although things were great in lily's social department, the legality of her divorce had become messy. it had been a month since the incident where cedar supposedly attempted to break into her ex-husbands house, leaving lily with the entire month of october being filled with legal battles and a complete rewrite of the separation agreement. all while the police continued to question her younger brother. she wanted to keep that part of the issue secret from hunter, for the little boy looked up to his uncle as though he were one of the superheroes on the boys wall. and lily did truly believe her brother was not behind this, that something must have happened to him. she knew cedar, he wouldn't have done this.

however, to distract herself, lily decided to hand make her and hunter's costume for the holiday quickly approaching. as well as busying herself with shopping for hunter's birthday, which was just a week after halloween. however, in proper rose and gen fashion, they had other plans for the candy filled day.

"I am not going to a halloween party with the avengers!" lily exclaimed as she spun around from her sewing machine, arms crossed, "and I am not matching with bucky."

"come on lily!" rose whined, grabbing her sisters hand, "you've been stressed to the high heavens all month! with finally being granted full custody, as well as this cedar thing? you deserve to go out and have some fun."

"and bucky tells us he's had to make you dinner every night when he comes over. and don't act surprised that we know- you send rose out every thursday and saturday. we're not stupid." gen countered, raising her finger to lily.

"he talks too much," lily mumbled, "but I wouldn't be able to anyways! hunter and I have traditions to keep up. we match costumes, then go out trick or treating, then come home, watch halloweentown and then go to bed." she stated, stealing her hand back from her sister, "plus rose, you're pregnant!"

lily furrowed her eyebrows as she watched her sister and best friend share a look. one that the mother knew all too well. they had planned something. and what that was? well lily didn't know. all she knew is that she wouldn't like it. she never enjoyed their plans. last time she went through with one, she ended up racing home and having to take her husband to court because of neglect of their child. plus, she'd much prefer to stay home and spend time with her son. after the month she had, she just wanted a night in with the two of them.

"we figured you'd say no..." rose began, flicking her hazel eyes to gen.

"...so we came up with a backup plan. that was actually, hunter's idea." gen smiled softly, offering her hand to her best friend, "come with us and he'll explain."

lily cocked her eyebrow at the two of them. standing, the blonde laced her hand into gen's, and was soon led out into her own living room where hunter sat on the floor with joey watching national geographic. lily smiled softly at the boy, before she was essentially forced into sitting on their sofa, with both rose and gen coaxing hunter to explain whatever they had decided to try and convince lily on.

"mum, what if mr. barnes joined us for halloween this year?" the boy commented, turning off the television and turning towards his mother.

lily was taken aback by her sons bold offer. glancing back and fourth at the two women on either side of her, only to be greeted with raised hands of innocence. moving herself onto the floor, lily took her sons hands into her own, searching his face for any sort of blackmail being used by the two girls behind her. but he seemed genuine. she knew this because there was a rosy hue to his cheeks, meaning he was even embarrassed to ask her something like that.

"are you sure, hunt? it's always just been us on halloween." lily hummed, running a thumb across the boys cheek.

"mum if I didn't want to I wouldn't have asked. I like mr. barnes. he's fun." hunter stated simply, tilting his head into his mothers touch.

"if that's what you want buddy, then sure. we can have bucky here for halloween." lily agreed, ruffling the boys hair before standing up and turning towards her sister and best friend, "I'm guessing you already asked him?"

when the two gave energetic nods, the young mother shook her head with a laugh, making her way back out towards her office to finish the costumes.

\-----

lily still lived in the real world. and held a full-time job. as did rose and gen. which meant, there was no one to watch hunter on the actual day of halloween while lily worked. well, that's what she thoguht at first. but of course, who were rose and gen to let anything peaceful happen in the life of their best friend and sister. though lily was far from bold enough to make such a request, she didn't have much of a choice. plus, he was already spending the evening with them. lily still hadn't enough trust in babysitters, despite having a plethora of neighbors whom she did trust...she just trusted him a bit more. 

"thank you for coming on short notice." the blonde sighed softly as she opened up the door to her house, "gen has a meeting today and rose is in upper manhattan, so neither were available." 

"it's no issue, lily," bucky's gruff morning tone cooed as he took a step into the house, "I like the kid, no stress. sam and steve may swing by around noon, mind if I bring hunt with us out for some lunch?"

"that would be amazing, buck." she hummed, not even giving the nickname a second thought, though her cheeks did subconsciously heat up, "here." the blonde smiled, digging her hands into her purse, only to have his flesh hand rest on the arm of her thin white cardigan.

"no need. it's my treat." the man smiled, his hand lingering across her wrist before he pulled it away. 

the way that he looked at her made lily's heart skip a beat. his steel blue eyes pouring into the mossy green of her own. all of the air in the foyer seemed to be sucked out, as though the world paused around her. neither moved, and the world melted away. it was hunter who had managed to snap the two out of it. the sound of a glass breaking against hardwood made lily jump, her hand resting above the pale purple scrubs she wore, gripping her name tag.

glancing at her watch, lily sighed, dropping her bag, "I'll go clean that up then head to wo- "

"let me." bucky hummed, picking the woman's bag back up, "you head into work. I'll take care of the kid and the mess, I promise." 

with one more glance towards the kitchen, lily nodded slowly before bidding her goodbyes. when she got into the car in her drive way, the blonde let out a deep sigh. her eyes glanced up to the door of the place she called home for a few years now. she spotted bucky and hunter standing in the doorframe, hunter still in his pyjama's with a new cup of orange juice in his hand. bucky's hand placed securely on the boys shoulder. the picture warmed lily's heart, and she found her mind wandering ever so slightly.

the same scene, but with lily standing there. a baby in her arms as bucky placed a kiss to her temple. hunter, aged up a few years with joey by his side. but this image found itself framed, up on the wall of a different home. 

chiding herself, lily shook her head, reversing from out front of the home. away from the moment that made her heart swell.

\-----

another day, another pay. don't be mistaken, lily loved her job. she adored being able to spend the day with children and make them feel better. but today was a rough one. lily had a patient come in with severe symptoms. it broke lily's heart. he looked around the same age as her son, and that was what she always found most difficult. seeing the children that were experiencing the same sort of year as her son. just turning twelve or not even quite there yet. it broke her heart, really.

pushing the door open to her quaint home, lily perked an eyebrow up at the smell of something sweet. that of a certain morning breakfast that seemed to be a reoccurring them in the most recent months of lily's life. a small smile spread across her lips as she placed her work bag down onto the front bench, kicking off her shoes before passing the stairs and through the hall back to the kitchen where she ducked around the corner, leaning on the wall.

"well now what do we have here?" she chuckled, catching the two boy's attention.

sliding her phone from her pocket, the blonde snapped a photo of the mess of a kitchen the two had made. both had flour on their face, and the mother of the younger boy giggled. the amount of blueberries that were on the floor, or should she say, making their way into joey's stomach, was more than she saw in the bit of batter the two had made. 

"we wanted to surprise you." hunter grinned brightly, lifting his hands in a stance of innocence, "it was bucky's idea!"

"hey- ! way to through me under the bus buddy." the taller man laughed, hands dropping to tickle at the blonde boy's sides.

lily shook her head with a hearty chuckle escaping her lips. running a hand through her golden strands, the young mom sauntered forward and pressed a kiss to hunter's head, before giving bucky a soft glance. shrugging off her cardigan, the doctor send a teasing eyebrow raise to the two boys. tossing the piece of fabric across one of the chairs at the table, the blonde shooed both away from the counter.

"before you blow up my kitchen," she quipped, "allow me to take over."

one brand new batch of batter and a new pack of blueberries later, lily placed a large stack of fluffy pancakes atop the refurnished birch table that bucky and hunter sat at. placing her hands on her waist, lily merely smirked and shrugged the entire event off as though it were nothing. the main thing that made her happy on the inside however, was watching the two dig into the golden brown delicacies she had made moments ago.

"sit and eat, lil. they're amazing." said bucky, a mouthful of blueberry pancake muffling most of his words.

"alright alright. then we have to get ready to go out. don't want it to be too dark." lily chuckled, pulling out a chair next to bucky.

with dishes and kitchen cleaned, the trio found themselves all dressed and ready to go for the halloween festivities tacking place outside of the home. kids were already knocking on doors and stuffing their faces with candy. while hunter was still trying to get the bandana we wore to properly stay on his head, or actually tie it. hunter and lily had already planned on taking on halloween dressed as pirates, and bucky just happened to have the proper rugged look for it. 

lily herself, well she wore quite the getup. ripped fabric of white, burgundy, and plaid making up a skirt that hugged her waist. a white peasant blouse that hugged off of her shoulders sat underneath a black leather corset vest that dipped just below her chest. a pirate hat with golden trim and a peacock feather sat atop gentle blonde curls. suede boots hit just below her knee with fishnet tights underneath. bucky wore a fairly standard get up, simple black pants with a loose cream coloured top underneath a suede vest and taller boots. 

"mum I can't get my bandana tied!" hunter sighed, dropping his hands against his own dark pants, "can you do it?"

lily grinned and made her way over to the boy, doing up the piece of fabric before handing him a pillow case for the candy he'd be collecting. turning to glance over her shoulder, the blonde caught the eyes of bucky. his eyes were already glued to her, and the way they moved up and down her made a bright red flush fill the girls pale cheeks. she pursed her lips and let her hands fall to hunter's shoulders, her eyes unwavering from those cool blue ones of buckys.

"if you two are done staring into each others eyes," hunter quipped, "I have candy to collect."

"hunter!" lily exclaimed, looking down at her boy.

"yeah doll," bucky winked, "keep focused. the kid's gotta get his candy."

lily watched in shock as the two walked out the door, leaving the blonde dumbfounded as she hook joey's leash onto his collar. rolling her eyes, the blonde followed behind, shaking her head until she caught up to the two.

\-----

"I didn't mean to make the kid freak out!" bucky laughed as the three re-entered the house, "it's not like I'm in a mask! plus the arm doesn't help give away who I am." 

"oh please you totally knew he recognized you!" lily retorted, unhooking joey, "you kept rolling your sleeve up whenever we saw him!"

"I'm with mom on this one." hunter commented, dumping the large stash of candy he had collected into the middle of the living room floor, "I think you liked seeing kellin dressed as you, bucky." he chuckled, sorting through the pile.

"well obviously!" the man chuckled, sliding his vest off, "I think what shocked me most were the amount of people dressed up as sam. we can keep the information here. it'll only make his head inflate even more."

the trio continued the night, laughing, eating candy, and watching the iconic halloweentown. at around ten thirty, lily put the young boy to bed, leaving her alone with the ex-assassin that was sitting in her living room. which she didn't mind, she'd begun to see yet another new side to bucky. one that made her realize just how much the man yearned for the security and domesticity of a family. and how lily wished to give that to him. to lay that troubled mind of his to rest at last, and allow him the peace and tranquility of a modern day family. and for a while, she believed the two had that. that night. him now changed into a t-shirt and sweats he had left at the house last time, lily in a pair of baby blue plaid pyjama pants and an oversized white sweater. both sipping lightly on coffee while they sat across from one another, legs touching.

"you've got something good going here, doll." the man hummed, eyes averting towards the fire at the other side of the room, "back in the 40's this is something I believed I'd have one day."

lily watched the man with a soft expression. the way his eyes seemed to cloud with troubles when he began talking. it broke her heart, knowing that this sweet and gentle man had been through more than lily could ever fathom. he had kills to his name, yet he pet joey like he would break the dog, and acted as though hunter were the most precious thing in the world. and when he would touch lily, her hand, her wrist, it was though she were made of glass. he was sensitive, and lily's heart grew ten sizes whenever she saw him allow his guard down, even for a split second. allowing her to peak into that complex mind of his.

"why can't you have it now?" lily questioned, "find a nice girl. settle down somewhere quiet. have a family. why is it so different now?"

the man turned his attention back to that of the woman sat beside him, "that wouldn't be fair to them. the kids...if I had them. the past I have would follow them everywhere, they'd learn about what I did in class. I was a monster, lily."

setting her mug to the side, lily moved a bit closer to the taller man. she took his coffee from his hands and placed it to the side. she wasn't sure what came over her. her mind believed it to be that of her having such a lovely night with him. watching him with hunter. seeing the way he would look at her. she wasn't sure. she just knew he felt something back towards her. maybe the kiss they shared was what drove her, but she just knew this was her window.

so she took his face in her hands, "buck you had no choice. and now? you're one of the most loved heroes. you beat the darkness. I give stickers out of you at work now!" she chuckled, running a careful thumb across his jawline, "I know if I was the girl you settled with, there would be no fear of having a family."

bucky looked at the girl with a tender look in his steel eyes. his hand reached up and tucked a stray hair of blonde hair behind her ear, moving forward. the air in the room grew thick and a sense of anxiety washed over lily. she watched intently as he continued his advance forward. before she could comprehend it, the two shared their second kiss. this one was different though. there was something new behind it. lily couldn't put her finger on it. but they didn't break apart, no, they molded together and paused for air every so often. lily tangled her fingers in the mans long brown hair, tugging gently.

but a knock at the door interrupted them.

"we'll talk about what you said tomorrow, okay doll?" bucky cooed, running a thumb across the girls cheekbone, "you stay here. I'll grab the door."

well, that was how bucky barnes met lily osborne's parents.


	18. the one with the parents

"oh!" a familiar voice called as bucky opened the door, "well hello there. who are you?"

lily's eyes blew wide as she jumped up from her seat on the couch, readjusting herself before rushing forward from the living room, startling joey. coming to a halt, beside bucky, lily gave a nervous smile as she came face to face with her parents. alicia and abel osborne, two of the most notorious environmental scientists in the country. and some of the most down to earth and relaxed people you could ever find. so how they had an uptight and perfectionist daughter like lily? well, no one could really explain that.

"mom? dad?" lily questioned, a small laugh trailing behind her words, "it's like eleven o'clock. what on earth are you doing here?"

"well your father is never good with timing but that doesn't answer my question," alicia osborne hummed, handing her coat to her husband, "who is this?" she smiled, pointing her finger up and down the man.

"james barnes," the man introduced, reaching his flesh hand forward, "please, call me bucky. it's lovely to meet you mr and mrs. osborne, lily has told me much about you."

"how sweet. we haven't heard anything about you. other than what everyone already knows about the famous winter soldier!" abel commented, shaking the mans hand that was outstretched. one that lasted a second too long.

and blunt. a very notable characteristic of the osborne parents. due to their intelligence, they seemed to have failed in the social department. neither knew when some of the things they said could come across as hurtful, yet somehow managed to say these things in sweet and loving tones. it had a tendency to be a detriment to the three children of the two, seeing as when they didn't like someone they brought home, they would say it. not to lily. not to rose. not to cedar. to the other party. they always said sugarcoating was a waste of time, and that honesty was something that was vital.

"where's hunter?" alicia asked, continuing to eye bucky.

"as I said. it's eleven at night. he's asleep." lily sighed, leading the rest of the party into the kitchen, "I wish you would have called me to tell me you're coming. I only have one spare room."

"oh that's fine. bucky can sleep with you." alicia stated, opening up her daughters kitchen cupboards, searching for lord knows what.

lily stared wide eyed at her mother as she took a seat at the dinner table next to bucky. hiding her face in her hands, lily shook her head. this was one of the main reasons lily never introduced most people to her parents. especially her mother. she recalled the many times that lily had brought home a potential boyfriend, only to have them scared off by alicia's harsh and straight forward remarks. 

"lily you need to go grocery shopping, you have no food." alicia sighed, "come on abel let's head to bed now."

"yes dear...and you two. keep it down tonight, the spare room is right next to lily's." abel commented, chuckling as lily dropped her head down onto the table and bucky let out a deep and hearty chuckle.

and as quick as they came in, lily's parents were gone upstairs to the spare room. leaving lily and bucky alone in the kitchen again, wondering what the hell had just happened. mostly lily, bucky seemed to find the entire interaction quite comedic. seeing lily get flustered must have made him smile, because lord knows the comments were parents made wouldn't.

"well then...shall we get to bed, doll?" bucky cooed, leaning towards the blonde and placing his hand gently on the small of her back.

lily shot the man a glare, but yet, still followed him as they wandered up towards the bedroom lily slept in every night. and the one she'd be sharing that night.

\-----

the gentle feeling of fingertips ghosting against her skin sent a shiver through lily's body. her deep green eyes peeled themselves apart, only to hum at the sweet feeling of touch. her body tensed at first, her mind not comprehending who it was who was caressing her pale skin. but soon it caught up, and her heart began to beat at a rapid pace. but she didn't move. didn't flinch. she cooed gently at the feeling of his calloused fingers tracing small patterns into the smooth skin of her arm. the dim sun of november pierced through the thin curtains of lily's bedrooms, and she eventually figured she would pull herself from the tranquility of the moment. 

"mornin' doll." a gruff and raspy voice cooed from behind the blonde, resulting in her rolling onto the other side to come face to face with a stubbly bucky barnes.

"morning," she purred as his fingers returned to her arm, "I should go get hunter up."

"it's saturday. let the kid sleep." bucky replied, inching himself forward. their noses were millimeters away, and lily could barely catch her breath.

a grin placed itself on the mans lips. leaning forward, the brunette caught the young moms lips in his own. their lips molded into one another as though they had been perfectly sculpted for the other. his large hands found their way down to her waist and he gently gripped at it, resulting in a breathy noise escaping lily's lips before he quickly swallowed it with his lips once again. his hands were rough, yet his touch was gentle. the callouses and years of wear and tear against the milky smooth skin of lily's waist was that of heaven. but she came to as his hands wandered down near the stretch marks she was left with from those years ago while pregnant with the young boy just down the hall. 

"wait." lily whispered, hands dipping from the mans hair down onto his hand, averting it from the marks that she still had yet to find comfort in.

bucky gave her a knowing smile. his warm eyes pouring into hers as he sat up, moving the comforter and sheet from both of their bodies. she watched intently as his hands fiddled with the hems of the white shirt she wore. the blonde sucked in a breath but didn't halt his movements. the tall man gave her an affirming peck on the cheek before lifting the bottom of the pyjama top a smidge. just above the bottom of her torso. lily immediately averted her forest green eyes, not wanting to see the pale peach marks along her body. but bucky's flesh hand gently caressed her chin, beckoning her to turn her head to watch again.

"lily you are one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen," he cooed, leaning his head down to press a gentle peck against a mark on her hip, "and these only make you more beautiful," he continued, further littering gentle kisses along her stomach, "you created one of the most amazing kids I've met. these are marks to show that strength you had."

"that's one way of putting it." lily whispered, reaching her hand forward and running it through the dark tresses atop bucky's head. 

"you're gorgeous." bucky hummed, kissing up her navel before attacking her face with the same gentle kisses he had just pressed to the marks that made lily wish to never put on a bikini, resulting in a sweet and harmonious giggle to sing from lily's throat as she thrashed her head around playfully.

when their lips finally met again, the two sunk into one another's touch. lily hadn't felt so...seen in a long time. the way he kissed her was something she only experienced in her wildest dreams. but having it happen, having his hand, flesh and vibranium, on her and making her feel special...no dream could capture that. the kiss heated up subtly, both gripping the other as though they were each others last life line. only to once again, be interrupted by a knock at the door. this time though, the person on the other side didn't both to wait.

"oh!" the sound of her mothers voice echoed through the room, causing joey to pop his head up at the end of the bed, "well I suppose that's my fault. I should have waited."

bucky chuckled at the woman's words before ducking his head down into the crook of lily's neck, giving a shake of his head. lily groaned and leaned her head back, gently shoving the bulk of a man off of her, sitting up and turning her attention back to the woman who stood in her doorway. her mother was dressed in a pair of beige cargo pants, a navy blue button up shirt, and a fish net cardigan. a signature alicia osborne look. and it always managed to work so well with her? honestly, lily aspired to be like her mother.

"what can I do for you mum?" lily smiled, tucking a golden strand behind her ear.

"well your dad and I want to go see gen and rose! so why don't you two finish up and then we can head down to gen's cafe, yes? lovely. see you in half an hour!" the blonde cooed, sending a wink towards bucky before shutting the bedroom door once again. 

"your mom's quite the character."

"oh you haven't even seen half of it yet."

\-----

a series of chuckles radiated through the group as lily, bucky, hunter, and her parents arrived at the slightly hectic cafe that her best friend owned. hunter had made a joke that caused abel to laugh so hard he had stumbled, resulting in him bumping into the back of his wife. overall, it was a light hearted mood within the family of lily osborne. though there was a looming presence that each person avoided. and that was the topic of cedar. the currently incarcerated youngest osborne child. for a crime he did indeed commit, but the motive? still unknown.

when seated, abel was the first to speak. but not what lily was hoping to hear. 

"hunt why don't you go see auntie rose and aunt gen in the back?" the man hummed, sending his only grandchild off from the booth, leaving the three osbornes and a barnes seated. all knowing what came next, "so...we did come down for a reason. to talk about, well, cedar."

lily tensed up at the sound of her younger brothers name. the only images playing in her mind were that of the boys face when she was brought in to try and question him. a deeply troubled and forlorn look that made lily uneasy. as though there was something much bigger at play here, instead of simply that her brother had tried to break into her ex-husbands apartment. if she could turn back time, she would. and pry the answers out of cedar if it killed her. she needed to know why the boy was at the apartment, and what he wanted from scott.

"now, james. we know you were initially the one to reprehend our son. which we totally get, he was committing a crime. and you're, well, you," alicia continued, "but we were called down to new york to help question cedar. and we just want to know everything that happened."

lily's face began to heat up. her breathing quickening as she tugged at the dark blue cardigan she wore. everything around her grew larger as she felt herself shrink. just thinking of the night that everything happened made the blonde want to hide away from people forever. but it wouldn't go away if she avoided it. the pain that was caused that night wouldn't mysteriously disappear just because lily chose to ignore it. despite her constant efforts to do so. and she knew that the time would come where she did in fact have to talk about the night. but what lily was worried about, subconsciously, was why her parents had kept bucky here for the conversation. and why on earth they kept referring to him as his first name, despite him being evident on preferring the nickname that everyone used...and lily wanted to test the waters.

"buck why don't you go see hunter in the back?" lily hummed, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, the cool metal feeling pushing through the thin cotton of his shirt.

"no." abel stepped in, "no we need sergeant barnes to stay."

both parties, lily and bucky, looked at the brunette man across the table with confusion in their eyes. lily slightly understood the use of james, but not fully. seeing as it was his first name. however, hearing the words that laid printed on bucky's dog tags tucked underneath his shirt caused her to straighten her spine slightly. lily's hand reached under the table to rest gently on the man beside hers knee, running smooth circles along it with her thumb.

"...okay," lily stated, nodding along hesitantly with her father, "why?"

"well he was witness to what happened," alicia hummed, smiling as a waitress brought out the group each a coffee, "we also trust his memory a tad more than yours, flower. he is a super-soldier after all!"

lily cocked an eyebrow at her mothers words. the tones of her parents seemed to fluctuate, and it would have gone unnoticed by those who hadn't been raised by the pair. it only ever happened when both seemed to be on edge or nervous about something. though lily tried to convince herself it was merely because their youngest child and only son had been arrested for attempted breaking and entering. but alicia and abel osborne weren't known for their nerves, especially when it came to cedar. but once again, lily convinced herself it was most likely just because of that. hell, if she was in their position with hunter? she may have already gone mad.

"did you see anyone else there, that night?" abel picked up, sipping his coffee, "any unusual faces? not just police?"

both bucky and lily shook their heads, but it was the former who spoke, "not that I saw. but we were at the front of the building. and I'm sure the police did a sweep of the perimeter to ensure there wasn't any other people. so to sum it up, it was just cedar."

the two nodded along. but there was a new sense of unease settling over the table. it set lily's nerves on edge. the way her parents fidgeted and shifted. she'd never seen them act so...uncomfortable before. the night before, they were making slight sex jokes wit their daughter and bucky, not a single care in the world. but now? talking about whether or not there was another person involved in the event seemed to be their least favourite topic of conversation, despite being the ones who had initiated it. the only time that they acted this strange was when scott had asked their permission to marry lily, and they said no. but he went along with it anyways...and well, everyone knows how that ended up.

"and cedar, was he acting weird? confused, dazed?" alicia asked, tracing her finger over the hole in her mug, "fidgety?"

bucky nodded, "yeah he seemed confused. I didn't get a good look at his face but he kept looking around and panting. he seemed paranoid about something. we've dealt with a few people who have maybe been on substances doing this sort of stuff. typically on a larger scale though...y'know. trying to take over the world and all of that super fun stuff I call work."

lily's eyes sat trained on her father. the two always had a close relationship. they were two peas in a pod. though alicia tended to be more outspoken, abel sat back and observed most of the time. but now he was the first to strike up conversation. something lily wasn't used to. what she also didn't like was how he avoided her gaze. he'd sneak a glance every few minutes but immediately turn away when he saw how lily analyzed him. the shifting in his seat, the paranoid glances. similar to what had been described for cedar. a new sense of fear almost. lily felt an uneasy ball rest in the pit of her stomach, and she tapped on bucky's arm.

"can I talk to you outside?" she whispered. when he nodded in agreement, the two excused themselves and pushed open the doors of the cafe out into the chill new york air, "buck I don't like this. they're acting weird. something is going on here."

bucky gave her a gentle smile, before placing his hands on her shoulders, "doll they're just a bit freaked out because of what's going on. I mean imagine if it were you with hunter."

"I know! I know I would have lost it by now but I know my parents," lily insisted, shaking her head, "there's something going on with cedar and with them. there's something not right about all of this. first of all, cedar cried whenever I killed a spider. second of all, he would never want to cause any sort of pain for hunter, he loves him so much. and third of all, my parents are acting very different. I've seen them under considerable stress, and my father never speaks first. bucky I need you to trust me. something is happening."

he must of picked up on the shake in her voice. for when she finished, he tugged the smaller woman close to his chest, pressing his lips to the crown of her head. her breathing was rigid and he cooed to her softly. he agreed he'd trust her, and that he'd keep an eye out for anything out of the ordinary. kissing her forehead once more, the man lead her back into the cafe. when they returned to their seats, lily watched carefully as bucky leaned forward. the gears were turning in his head and lily could see it. he was formulating something. and then he spoke.

"cedar was arrested a month ago and questioned. why are you here now? a month late."


	19. the one with the dancing

ever since lily was a child. her parents were the one constant thing that never changed throughout her life. however, as each individual osborne child grew up and grew out of the nest, things seemed to change. their work became more of a taboo topic, and they'd never share the research they were doing. but it became worse when lily married scott. and it seemed as though things just...it was like there was something changing within the lives the osborne children believed they had. puncturing holes in that pristine image of alicia and abel.

lily blamed herself for it, as per. she believed she allowed her relationship to become distant between her and her parents, which is why they didn't talk as much about these things. apart of her even believed it to be a factor from her and scotts marriage. she knew her parent's weren't his biggest fans, and dinners were always tense. they would always pull him aside during holiday's...but lily never really thought twice.

she didn't feel the need to. she somewhat hoped that the little talks they had were them finally getting along. because at one point, lily did indeed love scott. and he loved her. so she figured that was all. but that was simply the socially naive side of the girl.

it wasn't until now did she realize there was something deeper going on.

"what are you insinuating, sergeant barnes?" abel countered, leaning forward.

"it was simply a question, abel. I'm not trying to insinuate anything. it's just odd in my opinion, that's all sir." bucky smiled gently, sipping on his own coffee.

"I-I found it a bi-bit odd as well." lily managed, heat flushing as all eyes turned to her. she wasn't exactly known to defy her parents or speak out really. even bucky seemed taken aback. but she persisted, her heart racing, "I mean I called you a month ago. I figured y-you'd come down before."

even when it came down to dire situations, lily had a rough time standing up to her parents. well, she struggled with everyone doing that. but her parents posed particular trouble for her. she appreciated and loved them more than she could put into words, and never wanted them to feel as though she were defying them. their approval was lily's driving motive in close to everything she did. it was one of the main reasons she became a doctor, other than her sheer intelligence and love for children. she wanted to be the absolute best for them, be the best, become the best. even at her age, standing up to her parents was difficult. their approval was everything lily strived for.

the only time she even slightly wavered when it came to standing up to them, was with her siblings. if they were being a tad harsh on rose for staying out a few minutes after curfew, typically lily would smooth it over. cedar didn't do so well on a test and they were upset? lily reminded them that he's trying his best, and that everyone has slip ups. that was it. those were the only times. except for the conversation at the cafe.

"lily?" alicia pondered, "I don't understand. we were worried sick we just...couldn't get down here," the blonde insisted, but the twinkle in her eyes faded, "we want to go see him today."

"mom you're dodging..." lily whispered, fiddling with her fingers, "why didn't you come down when he was initially arrested?" 

"mum!" a voice called. rose. the elder sister let out a shaky breath as she leaned back in her seat, eyes averting from her parents just across from her. 

glancing down at her lap, lily fluttered here eyes shut. a deep instinct within her knew that there was something going on. but another part of her wanted to block it out. hide it away. pretend everything was fine. act as though cedar was walking free, her parents were simply environmental scientists, that nothing changed. she didn't like the feeling of change. the uncertainty in the air, the confusion, the constant paranoia. her fingers began to tug at a loose thread at the end of her stark white dress, fiddling and pulling at it. until the cool feeling of metal splayed across her wrist, rubbing smooth circles.

"everything okay, lil?" gen asked, pulling the blonde out of her fixation.

"yeah sorry. late night last night." she lied, giving a forced smile.

\-----

"why don't you leave hunt with gen and rose for a bit and we can go somewhere quiet?" bucky whispered as the group went to stand, about to leave the cafe, "it's just a short walk from here/ a block or so."

"yeah...yeah let's do that." lily nodded along, turning towards her parents who had already left the cafe, after telling the young girl they were going to the police station, "hunt! buddy why don't you stay here with auntie rose and aunt gen for a bit. bucky and I have some stuff to do." the blonde smiled down at the boy, running a hand through his hair.

with a nod from her son, lily turned her attention back to the brunette. lily felt like the world around her was closing in. everything was out of place and uneasy. whether it be her parents, cedar, or her love life actually having a spark to it. things just wouldn't sit still. they wouldn't stop for her to catch her breath. anytime she believed some sense of normalcy was returning, the world threw another curveball her way. she just wanted to get to know bucky and hopefully open herself up again, maybe fall for another.

slipping his flesh hand into lily's, the man next to her gave a gentle squeeze. with a glance upwards, the blonde blushed at the way he looked at her. those troubled eyes becoming clear when they rested on her fair complexion. she loved the way he looked at her. those blue eyes staring down at her like there was no one else around. there was no confusion, no pain. just her. he looked at her not as lily osborne. not as the single mother. not the daughter of famous scientists. he looked at her as lily. the brilliant mind who has suffered through emotional trauma, who continues to fight through the hard days and raise a son. he looked at her like she was the most beautiful, and strongest woman he had met. 

and his touch. oh his touch. ever so feather light yet meaningful and passionate all the same. his slight hesitation with the vibranium arm, yet never failing to overcome that slight fear. because she made sure he knew she wasn't scared of him. she knows what he had done. who he had killed. all the pain he had caused. but she knew it wasn't really him. it was the winter soldier. it wasn't james buchanan barnes. not the man who watched national geographic with her son. not the person who cooked her dinner. not the person who kissed her like she'd break. his touch was the most special thing to lily. because he touched her like a human, and she let him with no real fear. 

bucky lead the young mom from the cafe, fingers brushing gently across her knuckles as the cool november wind brushed between them. her long blonde hair gently tossed across her face as they walked east from the cafe, dodging people. lily had lived in the city for fifteen years, yet had no idea where was leading her. it was to a seemingly quiet part of the busy city, where there were small flower bushes and a few elderly walking about.

"where on earth are you taking me?" lily hummed, tugging gently at the taller mans arm.

twirling the blonde, bucky chuckled before tugging her closer to his chest, "well doll, I'm taking you dancing." 

\-----

"a retirement home?" lily laughed softly as bucky lead her through the moth-ball scented halls of the building they had entered. but he seemed distracted, waving and smiling at little old ladies and bright old men. all seemingly knowing who he is.

"james!" a voice called as the two walked through a set of double doors to a large rec room. lily turned her head to see anolder woman, dark skin wrinkled in a pug like way that made lily's heart positively melt as she smiled, "we were worried you weren't stopping by today. and you brought a guest! don't tell mathilda, she may cry." the woman teased, a raspy laugh escaping her lips as the pair made their way over.

"hey aggie," bucky greeted softly, "this is lily- "

"lily!" the woman, aggie, exclaimed, lifting her hands up, "the girl you go on and on about. yes I remember. she's even more beautiful in person. I'm agnes, call me aggie.it's lovely to finally meet you dear. and you two made it just in time for dancing!"

before lily could properly introduce herself, the taller man swept the blonde away onto the beige floor that was cleared for the event. a small laugh left the girls lips as she stumbled into bucky's chest, a new sense of calm washing over her. gentle music , all about us by he is we lily figured out, began to play lowly around the hall, and lily felt bucky's metal hand grip at her waist gently, fingers running along the blue yarn of her cardigan. his flesh one tangling itself into her fingers, bringing the girl close as she rested her frail hand on his steady shoulder. 

where her hand laid, the slight feeling of scarring was evident through the thin cotton of his charcoal grey shirt. a shaky breath escaped from bucky's lips and lily glanced up, catching his eyes in hers. her fingers gently traced the line across his shoulder where his metal arm met the human muscle of his body. her deep forest eyes kept his sky blue locked onto hers, as they swayed gently along to the music. she felt the room melt away around her, his eyes keeping her locked in place. the feeling of the scar tissue left fire burning on her fingers. his eyes looked scared, and that's why she didn't stop. she wanted him to know she loved that part of him.

"I know most people call men handsome," lily whispered, their noses brushing ever so lightly, "but this part of you is beautiful. it shows strength, buck." she continued, "I know the pain associated with it. and I can't undo it. but I'm going to help you make new memories to outshine them." she concluded, a new sense of boldness and confidence surging through her.

"lily..."

"I-I know it won't be easy. you being an avenger. my current messed up family. raising hunter. but ther-there's something here." she continued, squeezing her eyes shut and dropping her head, "and hunt loves you. god I haven't see him smile like that in so long."

the feeling of his hand dropped from her waist, only to place itself on the blondes chin, lifting her chin to meet his eyes once more, "I don't want to put you and hunt in danger...I couldn't live with myself if something happened."

shaking her head, lily gave a weak smile, "you couldn't hurt us. I trust you with my life...I trust you with hunter." she insisted, their faces slowly moving even closer.

"okay...I won't complain," he teased, a gentle grin on his lips, "let's see where this goes." he whispered, pressing a loving kiss to the blondes lips.

as the music continued, lily felt something open inside of her. something...warm. it spread through her body. whether it was the warmth from her closeness to bucky, or the new opportunity he symbolized. a new future for her. a kinder future. one where she was able to look forward for the days to come. not dread waking up and seeing him beside her. waking up and seeing someone she couldn't wait to spend time with. she saw a future with him. a happy one.

the music halted in her mind. there was no noise besides the gentle breaths escaping from the pair. peace and tranquility was all around them. it had only been two months since they had bumped into one another at the cafe, and that day will live forever in lily's heart. the sneaky glances from each side of the area. only to be brought together by a certain young boy who now seemed to be one of the driving forces in the two's relationship. or future one. and it just seemed to all finally fall into place. two months can change the entire course of someone's life, and that's what happened with lily and bucky.

all because of blueberry pancakes.

a rumble in the ground shook lily's mind set. the entire building shook, more like it. a shake that lily had never felt before. it didn't come from below, no. it came from outside. not too far from the area that they were in. bucky's hand tightened on lily, pulling her into his chest, acting as a shield for her. the tv stationed in the corner of the room switched from Golden Girls to the news, a panoramic view of an explosion. from the prison. just two blocks away. where cedar was held. lily looked up at bucky, who had a grave look on his face.

"I have to go to work."

\-----

the only thing on her mind was hunter. as they ran through the retirement home, hunter. as they stepped out onto the busy street, hunter. as they sprinted through the crowded streets, hunter. when she came face to face with captain america and the falcon, hunter. her face sickly pale, palms sweating as she heaved. her breathing quick and mind frantic. she wanted, no, needed, to see her son. ensure he was okay and for the love of god, hide him from knowing that cedar and his grandparents had been in that building.

"our guess is this is an escape plan," steve commented, turning to bucky, "three prisoners have escaped...hallea tyler, ryan hux, and...cedar osborne." the man commented, glancing down at the blonde next to his best friend.

lily felt her knees shake. her mind fall blank. a strong grip around her waist kept her steady, that familiar cold of the metal ticking off the fact it was bucky. cedar had escaped. her parents had gone to the prison, after acting strange. and now cedar was no where to be found. everything fell into place too perfectly, too many coincidences. glancing up at bucky, she grabbed at his jacket before whispering the faintest word.

"parents," she whispered, grunting as someone pushed past her, "ask."

"is there anyone in the building?" bucky asked, metal fingers running circles over her waist.

"they've identified those who didn't make it. no one by the name of osborne. your parents should be okay." sam nodded, looking down at lily, "we'll find them."

her parents being alive was a relief, sure. but terrifying at the same time. if lily's assumption was correct, then she wasn't sure if it brought her comfort. the idea that this could have all been orchestrated by them fit so well with the odd events leading up to this day. and as much as she didn't want to admit this to herself, it was the only real explanation to why the exact building her brother was being held in after an odd set of circumstances...and them showing up a day before. it scared her, that her parents could be capable of this.

"hunter...hunter I need to get to hunter." lily whispered, tugging at bucky's sleeve, "please I have to get back to hunter."

"okay...yes okay," bucky turned back to the other two, "I'm going to take lily to her son. if you need me back here I'm on coms." with a nod from the others, bucky tucked lily under his arm and pulled her from the scene of the explosion. one that she believed he felt the same way about. that this was the works of the osbornes, and whatever sneaky business they had seemed to get themselves into. 

\-----

lily's breath was heavy as they reached gen's cafe. no one in sight other than on the other side of the street. but lily didn't care. she just needed to see hunter. make sure he was okay. that was her main focus. getting her son to safety and as far from the city as she could. take him home, keep him safe behind the closed doors off their home. away from anyone's eyes. she just wanted hunter to be okay. 

pushing open the door to gen's cafe, she was met with silence. only the quiet humming of music floating through the speakers. her head spun, and a panicked feeling settled in. but she saw the blonde of his hair, and a feeling of relief over took it. both bucky and lily jogged over to where hunter sat, and the latter tugged the boy tight to her chest. she was sure he could feel the pounding of her heart, and the urgency in her coos. hearing him breath made her feel okay again. she felt at peace.

"lily we should go." bucky whispered, tugging gently at her shoulder, "I don't like this."

"we guessed you'd figure it out, sergeant barnes," an all too familiar voice called, "seems you and lily are quicker than we originally intended."

alicia osborne.

lily shot her head up, watching her mother, father, and brother walk from the back of the cafe. immediately, she covered hunter's ears and tugged him into her chest, ensuring he didn't see what was happening. but, she figured this was the entire plan. for what though? lily didn't know. whatever it was, it had bucky and lily in the center of it, dragging hunter along with them. something lily would kill to avoid happening. but the others seemed to have different plans, as abel walked towards bucky. and then spoke in a tongue lily didn't know.

"longing,"


	20. the one with his job

he told her there was danger with him. that there was always going to be a threat. he warned her what could possibly come if they went further. but neither cared. neither wanted to stop. there was such strong feelings between the two that if they stopped, lily would be left with something missing in her life. she didn't want to let him go, despite being hesitant to let him in. he created this new feeling of safety for lily, yet here they sat. she knew what her parents were doing. it was recorded in studies that the winter soldier was unlocked through a series of russian words, triggers that would set off the chemicals in his brain.

and for the first time, lily felt scared around bucky barnes. but it didn't last long. 

with his eyes squeezed tight, bucky made his way towards lily and hunter. fluttering those steel blue eyes, bucky looked at lily, and she knew he was still there. he turned his back to the two, blocking the view of lily's family. and he spoke, cool, calm, and collected.

"for two of the smartest scientists, you don't do a lot of research," bucky began, "I don't work like that anymore. now in about two minutes captain america and the falcon are going to walk through those doors. do us all a favour, and just sit. and wait."

the clicking of a gun made lily's heart stutter. it came from one of the three osbornes. she whispered a quiet prayer, despite her lack of religious beliefs, and tugged the young boy closer to her. her breathing was rapid and tears brimmed at the mossy iris's of her eyes, creating a glass like effect. it made her look like a real doll, just as bucky called her. a small shuttering breath escaped her lips as she pressed a kiss to the soft tufts of blonde on hunters head. if anything, she just wanted to shield hunter from all of this. with what he had been through at such a young age already, lily felt her heartbreak at the idea of him having to witness the events that would follow.

"lily go to the car," bucky whispered, glancing over his shoulder, "please."

she didn't hesitate. most people she was sure would try and stay and help, but lily would be damned if she had hunter stay in this cafe for a second longer. without skipping a beat, the blonde tugged her son away from the booth and darted with him towards the car they had brought here that morning, rushing him into the back. the moment the doors closed, both lily and hunter let out a breath of relief. leaning her head forward, lily placed it on the top of her steering wheel, blinking away the tears that threatened to fall as everything began to settle in. 

the sound of her phone ringing made every hair on her body stand on edge.

glancing up, lily sniffled while answering through her car. it was rose. and dear god was the elder sister glad to hear from her. but nervous at the same time. she wasn't sure if rose knew about what was happening, she could only assume so, seeing as the younger sister had been in the cafe not too long ago with lily's best friend. 

"lily! thank god you answered are you okay?" rose's panicked voice quivered as it rang through her speakers, "do you have hunter? please tell me you have hunter?"

"yeah, yeah rose I've got hunter. we're okay. we're in the car." lily responded, her own voice barely above a whisper, "are you and gen okay?"

"yeah...yeah we're at gen's apartment. I tried to take hunter, I tried. but they...they ju- "

"rose stop. it's okay...listen I'm with hunter right now I'll call you back. make sure gen's okay, and just stay there." lily finished, "I love you." and with that, the blonde ended the call, turning her attention to the clearly shell shocked boy that was sitting in the back seat.

"mom is bucky gonna hurt grandma, grandpa, and uncle cedar?" his voice whispered, shaking and cracking halfway through.

lily felt a ton of bricks smash against her chest. she herself didn't even know the answer to that. she trusted bucky, yes. but this was also his job. to take down the people who do these sorts of things. bring them to justice, at whatever means needed. and a part of her knew that there was a possibility she could lose her parents and brother within the next few minutes, but the other half of her knew that bucky wouldn't. she felt deep inside that if it came down to it, he would let them live and be brought to legal task instead of violence. but lily didn't know...but she couldn't leave hunter hanging. if she did that, then he'd know her own thoughts on the matter. and it wouldn't help either cases.

"no." she stated, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, "no I don't think bucky will."

and she was right.

not too long later, the doors to the cafe swung open after the police screamed down the street. lily watched with pain in her eyes as her parents, unscathed with a mere bruise or two were walked from the building, bucky, steve, and sam following close behind. no one looked injured or hurt, and a sigh of relief escaped from lily. bucky glanced over at the car and excused himself from the trio, jogging towards the car. lily watched as he opened the passenger side door, sliding in.

"hey hunt buddy." bucky whispered, shifting to turn.

"hi bucky." hunter returned, a sense of relaxation in his tone after seeing that no one had been injured, "is everything okay now?"

bucky's eyes met lily's, and the two shared a moment of silence before he began to speak once again, "yeah. everything's okay now buddy."

\-----

"how're you feeling, hun?" lily whispered as she took a seat on hunter's bed after tucking him in for the night, "lots happened today. is there anything you wanna talk about?"

"why'd they do it?" the boy whispered, looking up at his mother, "why did they do it mom, I don't get it."

lily let out a soft sigh, running a hand across the boys forehead, "I don't know bud. I don't. I wish I had an answer for you. bucky's taking care of it. anything you need to know I'll tell you, okay? I promise." the blonde hummed, reaching her pointer finger out.

hunter nodded and wrapped his smaller finger around hers. pressing a kiss to the boys forehead, lily stood from the bed. flicking off the lights, she smiled gently at hunter curling under his blankets before she shut the door to his bedroom. digging the heels of her hands into her eyes, lily walked down the stairs where bucky, sam and rose were sitting in her living room. she smiled gently when they looked up at her before she took a seat next to bucky on the couch.

"so this is a daily thing with you guys, hm?" rose asked, sipping her water, "like what do you guys do when people aren't trying to blow up the city or take over the world?" 

the room fell silent except for the late night news playing in the background. bucky and sam looked at each other with frazzled expressions as though they didn't even know what they did when there wasn't an imminent threat to the city or the world. lily couldn't help but laugh at that fact. out of the four of them, she lived the most basic and mundane life. rose was a world famous stylist and designer, bucky and sam were superheroes. lily was just a children's doctor living in suburban manhattan with a family and a dog. the other three had travelled all over the world, and lily hadn't. so learning what these fantastic people did in their free time did seriously intrigue the girl.

"yeah I mean there aren't always people trying to take over the world," lily continued, sipping her glass of wine, "do you like...go bowling?"

bucky let out a laugh, his head rolling backwards, "bowling? I guess so, I mean there is an alley in the compound. but we mostly just hang out at our own places really. wait for the next mission. I help at the retirement home, sam hosts a veteran support group. steve never stops working." the man hummed, arm draping across lily's shoulders.

"speaking of bowling," lily sighed, readjusting herself, "hunter's birthday is next week and I still have no idea what to do. he's getting older and it's harder to come up with ideas."

"how do we go from talking about bucky and sam being literal superheroes to hunter's birthday," rose chuckled, "but I'm not sure lil. maybe take them bowling I guess."

"or bring him and a few of the kids friends by the compound," sam suggested, "if the kids friends are anything like hunter, I'm sure they'd love it. run a watered down version of a training thing to be an avenger."

"I'd love that sam thank you. I just want to give him something to take his mind off of everything going on." lily shrugged, leaning further into bucky.

\-----

november seventh. the faithful day that lily welcome her baby boy into the world around her. into her arms, into the life of new york. despite her no wanting kids for quite some time, she wouldn't take back having hunter. she just wished he was the son of someone better. for his father was the person lily wouldn't even wish upon her worst enemy. every year since hunter was born, lily wanted to make his birthday special. she'd pull out all of the stops if it meant seeing her boy smile brighter than she ever had before. and in the times they were experiencing now, she knew he needed it, as did she, more than ever. 

"so how do you know the avengers?" one of the kids parents, jill, asked as everyone unloaded from the cars when they arrived at the compound, "because hunter's story seems a bit far fetched, hun."

lily sighed and rested her hand on her sons shoulder and looked over at the woman, "what did he tell you, jill?"

"that his mommy's seeing the winter soldier." the woman hummed, placing her own hand on her sons shoulder, "sounds like a fantasy."

"fantasies can come true." a deep voice hummed. lily couldn't help but grin at the feeling of a metal arm wrapping around her waist. bucky. the small group of parents went silent as the man pressed a kiss to lily's temple, "and only seeing? here I was hoping we could refer to it as something a little bit more, doll." he teased, earning an elbow from lily.

lily felt her face heat up and her breathing catch in her throat. as much as she wanted to rub all of this in Jill's face, she still had that massive bundle of nerves inside of her that held her back. all of the parents here weren't exactly lily's friends. she knew them from the PTA at Hunter's school and a few from her neighbourhood, and they were all very much those cliche suburban moms that would be seen in movies. stuck up, believe themselves to be perfect with the perfect children. and lily quite liked their children, but the mothers? ugh, lily couldn't stand them. however, they were insistent on joining the kids for the tour. 

"nice to see you finally have a man in your life," one of the other moms, gina, hummed as the group began to walk towards the compound, "and a strong father figure for hunter."

lily glanced to the side, scoffing at her remarks, "I'm both hunter's mother and father. and I don't need a man, gina, I've raised hunter alone his whole life essentially." she muttered, resting a hand on bucky's arm to relax the tension.

ever since the night cedar attempted to break into scott's apartment, something inside of lily grew. a new side of her, she supposed. growth, almost. a part of her knew that if she were able to stand up to scott, the man who had destroyed any ounce of confidence she had throughout their relationship, who were gina and jill to hold her back. of course there was only a certain extent she would go to, for she was still nervous to even speak to people most of the time. 

"welcome to the avengers compound!" tony boomed as the doors opened for everyone to walk in, "if you'd like to join the little kiddos on the tour just keep to the left here with mr. sam wilson, aka the falcon. and if parents would like a few drinks, follow me, towards the lounge."

a few of the parents joined the group of kids as they wandered down the hall. hunter waved goodbye to lily as she and the other parents made their way towards where tony stark was leading them. the small group of mothers and fathers whispered as bucky tightened his grip on lily's waist. the last thing lily actually wanted to do was spend time with these parents, however, she was willing to sacrifice her sanity for a few hours if it meant giving hunter the best day ever.

"alright cyborg go help nat bring out the refreshments while I get these people situated, hm?" tony teased, patting bucky's flesh arm, "lily come, help me entertain your friends."

when bucky's arm left lily's waist, tony took over by looping his arm with hers. lily raised her eyebrow at the man as he took her over towards the rest of the group, sitting next to her on one of the couches. lily gave the billionaire a quizzical look but he just nodded, as if telling her to simply go along with it. lily and tony had only spoken a handful of times, but he seemed fairly persistent about letting bucky go get the things from the kitchen.

"so lily," one of the fathers, thomas, started, "it's really nice to see you get back out into the field. not even just romantically, socially too. maybe you'll actually come to the PTA group date nights, with someone other than genevive." he chuckled, leaning backwards on his seat.

"she wouldn't attend anyways, tommy. lily isn't one for fun." jill chuckled, crossing her legs, "what is you do, lily? stay at home with your dog and kid. come on, no one wants to see their kid that often. the only time I see you out is with joey!" the woman continued, shaking her head.

despite it being somewhat truthful, the woman's words stung a bit. lily knew she didn't go out often and never really tried to connect with everyone around her. the only time she really did was when she was essentially forced, and she figured that's why jill figured to go for a sensitive part in lily's life. but then again, jill was also a two-faced gossip who could never stay out of other people's business. lily seemed to be her favourite topic of discussion, and her favourite to pick on. the blonde felt as though she were back in highschool, or hell, even middle school. jill was always going after lily's insecurities, as though she could see right through her. it terrifed the young mother, but lily knew how much hunter loved jill's son. so she went through with it, and sucked it upo so her son could enjoy himself.

"interesting comment...uh what was your name?" tony commented, leaning forward slightly.

"Jill. Jill Reinhert." the red head hummed, tilting her head to the side.

"right. jen, so like I was saying. interesting comment. lily here is actually quite in tune with fun. she attended a party I threw not too long ago and was an absolute hoot." tony chuckled, squeezing the blondes shoulder, "and just because she actually enjoys spending time with her kid, who is a saint, doesn't mean she's any less fun. so." 

the room fell silent. lily looked over at the man with wide eyes as she took in what he had said. jill always managed to find that soft spot, but tony was quick to the jump. she figured this was why he had sent bucky off, so he could deal with the clear teenage drama that was taking place inside of a group of adults. it probably didn't help lily was the youngest of the entire group, and was clearly the most vulnerable. 

"W-well I was just- "

"no, jenny I really don't wanna hear it. ah! here come nat and bucky with refreshments." tony hummed, wiggling his eyebrows at the blonde before taking a seat next to nat as she sat down.

"you alright doll?" bucky hummed as he walked over, reaching his hand out, "mind joining me in the kitchen for a quick second?" he continued.

lily nodded and took the mans hand, standing from the couch. she glanced over her shoulder to see jill sitting there with an absolute shocked face. lily smiled gently to herself as bucky tugged her out of the lounge and into the hallway. a giggle escaped both of their lips as he spun her into his arms, leaning her up against one of the walls just outside of the kitchen. shaking her head, lily wrapped her other hand into the mans hair, enjoying the soft feeling of the dark tresses. he hummed softly, before bending down and pecking her lips.

"I was about ready to absolutely rip a new one off of that woman." bucky chuckled as he pulled away, resting his forehead against the shorter girls.

"mmm, that's jill. just a pta woman. real handful." lily cooed, letting out a deep breath, "now what can I help you with?"

"well..." bucky hummed, leaning back gently, "I was just wondering...seeing as we may as well be. and I absolutely adore spending time with you and hunter is the sweetest boy...do we want to I don't know...make it official? basically what I'm asking, lily osborne, will you be my girlfriend?" he finished.

a new sense of fear settled deep within lily's stomach.


	21. the one with the new way

the very first time a boy asked lily out was way back in high school. close to twenty years ago. he was a sweet kid, a year older than the blonde. he was fairly popular, no quarterback but people knew his name. michael parvish. a dashing man. he had dark sandy blonde curls, bright aquamarine eyes. a smart kid, he was in a few of lily's advanced classes. he had asked her to go to the homecoming with him and grab dinner before hand. lily, being lily, was absolutely terrified of it. but gen had managed to convince the blonde to say yes, so she did. she knew a lot of girls had a crush on the boy, and lily wouldn't deny she did to. he was beautiful, and she prayed the inside reflected what the outside had. 

they dated for four months, before michael moved away to iowa for his fathers job. 

the second time was when she was in grade eleven. a senior had taken a keen interest in the girl, and made a move. he was a baseball player, and also very attractive. dark chocolate skin that would shine in the light. amber eyes that made lily feel weak in the knees most of the time. he was sweet, a bit shy, but quite charming. they dated until lily graduated and moved to new york city. he had moved out to california for baseball, and she had no desire to move to that state or go to school there. so they parted ways after two years.

the saying goes that third times the charm. well, that wasn't exactly lily's fate. the third time she was swept off her feet was in her days as university student. a tall, built, gorgeous student with a smile that made lily feel like there was no one else around her. he was two years older than her and an engineering student. girls would fall at his feet, yet he would always end up back at lily's door after a party. they wouldn't do anything, merely sit and talk. it was sweet and euphoric. the two seemed to get on perfectly. 

his name was scott harvey. and he was not the prince charming she believed he would be.

she had been romanced and asked out a few times after the divorce from scott. but she always said a simple "no thank you, I'm not dating right now." she would refuse any sort of affection or charm from any sort of man. one of gen's staff, elijah, had come the closest. he was kind and good with hunter, but lily didn't really feel anything. so all together, lily had only really experienced a relationship three times, each for a substantial period of time. but she supposed a part of her knew each of them wouldn't be the one. scott was the only one she was slightly convinced would be her last. lord, was she wrong.

but now? lily had an opportunity sitting in her lap. or should she say, leaning over her. an opportunity with a scruffy beard and steel blue eyes. dark hair dancing in front of those said eyes, and a cold metal arm attached to him. and danger. threat came with her opportunity. she was willing to take that risk, knowing he would never let anything happen. but her heart hesitated slightly at the thought. she knew she had told him any girl would be lucky to have someone like him, and here she was, that said girl.

"doll?" he whispered, "you look like you've seen a ghost..."

"hm? oh," lily smiled weakly, "sorry. just caught me by surprise a bit." she hummed, tucking a stray piece of blonde hair behind her ear.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked." bucky mumbled, going to push off the wall and stand at full height.

but her hands caught his waist. she tugged him forward, gripping the toned midsection tightly as she pressed a soft and careful kiss to his slightly chapped lips. the tickle of his scruff sent butterflies down through the girls stomach, but she knew her answer. she knew it before he even really asked. the hesitation far from her head as she looked back up at him, lips separating with a faint noise. gentle breaths fanning the others face as bucky scanned her features, attempting to sleuth out her answer.

"yes, bucky," she whispered, playing with her bottom of his navy blue henley, "I will be your girlfriend." the blonde concluded, giggling at the bright grin that spread across his lips. 

a bit of a weight seemed to release itself from the bulk of lily's shoulders as the words left her lips. the clear elation in the mans eyes helping warm her heart, and create a sense of ease with her decision. he was the right one for her, she knew it. the way he would hold her and the way he would kiss her. how his hands found their way through her hair easily, and managed to make her feel whole again after years of being shattered and broken. how he seemed to adopt hunter right away in a way a father would a son. god...the way he acted with hunter. so soft and gentle, so loving, accepting. everything.

"come on then, let's go wait out this little party and then head to your place. just the three of us, hm?" he cooed, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"oh didn't I tell you...they're all coming back for dinner!"

"...dear god."

\-----

honestly she wasn't sure why she had actually added that there would be a dinner when everyone came back to her home after the tour. she didn't necessarily like any of the parents that would be coming back. the only reason she could think of was the fact that hunter adored the kids, as did lily. plus, a selfish part of her wanted to show all of them that she can be a successful doctor and be able to afford a comfortable life for her and her son without the help of a spouse or anything like that. lily knew it wasn't right of her to think like that, but she felt the urge to sort of...well, rub it in their faces that she had done well. despite the amount of obstacles that had been placed as roadblocks for her to swerve around.

"so what's on the menu, lily." jill hummed as she found herself perched on one of the barstools at the kitchen island of lily's home. that same condescending smile still as evident as ever on her face.

"pancakes." the blonde countered, pulling out the ingredients, "it was all in the invitation." she continued, smiling tightly at the woman, "buck could you go downstairs and check on the kids for me?"

"sure, doll." the man behind her cooed and placed a gentle kiss to her cheek before wandering off from the kitchen. she caught him toss a look over his shoulder, as though he wanted to double check she did want him to actually leave her with the group of petty, uptight, parents that she so despised.

lily was still lily. she was still shy and quiet and non-confrontational. now becoming the official girlfriend of bucky barnes wasn't going to change her personality. she didn't enjoy being alone with these people, but she still needed to be able to stand on her own two feet. still be able to handle situations herself if things went south. she prayed they didn't, and she knows if they did she would have put herself in that position. she would have caused the problem for herself. and though she knew this, she had still sent him. lily figured it was better late than nevre to learn how to handle her own messes if they arose.

"nice place you have here." thomas commented, sipping on a water, "I don't think any of us have actually ever been in your house before. other than our kids of course. I suppose we weren't all expecting it."

lily felt herself grin slightly as she mixed the ingredients together, blowing a piece of stray blonde hair from her face as her arm worked. she knew they were expecting something smaller, messier even. but lily was proud of where she had ended up. if there was anything in the world that lily actually found confidence in, it would be the life she had built for herself and her son. even when she was married to scott, it was mostly just her and hunter. lily wore herself thin but she wanted hunter to grow up in a happy place, or as happy as she could make it. she couldn't make up for the absentee father or the lack of quality time he had with his dad. but she tried her best to substitute that with as much love from her as she could. all while managing and juggling schooling, chasing her dreams, and ensuring that there was always a stock fridge and cupboard. and now, she found herself in their dream home with a dream dog, and a newly found relationship that created a warm and domestic environment for everyone.

"thank you thomas," lily smiled, placing her hands on her baby blue polka-dot clad and navy blue cardigan clad waist, tilting her head, "got a great deal for it. and then hunt and I made it our own." she explained, glancing over at rose who leaned on the wall with a raised eyebrow at the kindness of the group.

"but have you ever considered finding someone? like for real," jill piped up, "not this little daydream fantasy you have with bucky barnes of all people." she scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

lily froze as she poured the batter into the cast iron griddle she had. she felt the air in the room disappear as she finished pouring the batter. glancing up, she tucked one of the loose blonde strands of her hair behind her ear and tilted her head at the woman in front of her. of course jill would be the one who would try to continue to poke at lily in her own home. there were so many things that she wanted to say. so many insults and retorts. but her words got caught in her throat. her chest tightened and stomach twisted. sweat glands opened and the saliva in her mouth ceased to exist. her eyes blurred and a warm feeling gathered at the waterline. the room around her slowly began to bend inward and she had to take a step backwards. she dropped her spoon and cleared her throat, attempting to compose herself.

"why don't you go see if the kids are okay, bucky's been down for a few minutes." rose stepped in, placing her hand on her sisters shoulder, grounding her.

stepping away without a word, lily tugged at the knit sleeve of her cardigan. attempting to let air inside of what felt like restraints. tugging at the small buttons as she walked down the stairs, lily tried to steady her breath. ripping the material off of her body, she threw open the basement door and proceeded to jog down the rest of the stairs towards where she heard laughing voices and one deep gruff one telling a story. the sounds of his and her sons voices melting together had her heart slow, and her breathing regulate. she gripped onto the wall and let out a gentle sigh. the rough feeling of the drywall reminded her where she was as the feeling of bile subsided from her throat. 

"lily?" bucky's voice cooed as he walked over to her, hand finding it's way to her waist to rub gentle circles onto her hip, "you okay?"

"yeah, yeah I'm okay. rose just took over the cooking. just needed a minute," she whispered, leaning her head back against the corner of the wall, "how're the kids?"

"they're good, doll," he hummed, running a flesh finger down her face, "they were jus' asking about the final battle a few years ago..." he trailed off, eyes falling down to his feet. lily smiled softly and placed her hand on the scruffy side of his cheek, "I dodged the question, I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about it just yet with hunter...the things I did lily I-"

reaching upward, lily placed a soft kiss to the mans slightly chapped lips, "it's okay love, it's okay." she whispered, "let's head back upstairs if you're ready, to make sure rose doesn't end up cooking jill instead."

sliding his metal arm into the girls hand, the two made their way back up the stairs, only to have a small and gentle tug at the bottom of lily's skirt catch her attention. both glancing back, she saw a familiar head of blonde smiling up at the two softly and they turned around to look down at the young boy.

"is it okay with you guys if luke and finn stay the night?" he whispered, smiling up at the two of them shyly.

lily's heart grew so large she believed it would completely burst from her chest. he didn't just ask her. no, he asked both of them. he asked her and bucky if they were okay if his friends stayed the night. the tears found their way to her waterline once more as she looked up at bucky, who had the same awestruck look on his face. something inside of him seemed to click as he looked down at the young boy in front of the two. hunter had asked bucky and lily. the two of them. as a pair. she smiled softly and bit on her knuckle, before turning back to bucky again.

"what do you say bucky," lily grinned, "you okay if hunter has some friends stay the night?" 

"sure buddy, why not." 

\-----

a few hours later, when most of the kids had cleared out and the parents alongside them, lily finally let out a relieved breath. bucky, rose, and her were clearing the paper plates and wiping up the messes from the syrup and cleaning the wrapping paper. hunter, luke, and finn were bustling upstairs in the young boys room, no doubt playing with all of his collectable items. lily stood herself up straight and smiled softly, looking around at the slightly messy living room. chuckling gently, she shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"they're twelve, why do their parents need to come?" lily laughed, picking up a wine glass jill had used, "I understand the tour part but for dinner? god, some parents." she sighed, walking to the kitchen and putting it in the dishwasher.

"I think most of them just wanted to hear if the rumours were true," rose commented, collecting the last piece of wrapping paper, "if you were dating the one and only winter soldier." she teased, bumping her shoulder against the broad man.

"as embarrassing as that is," bucky jousted back, "I'm with rose on this one, doll." he agreed, tying the black garbage bag.

"about time you learned that I am always right, barnes." rose chuckled, stretching her arms back, "alright I'm heading upstairs. keep it down tonight, I have an early meeting tomorrow."

the moment rose's door shut as she walked up the stairs, bucky's arms found themselves wrapped around lily's waist. his lips pressed to the corner of her jaw, eliciting a giggle to escape from the same place. shaking her head, lily shimmied from his grip to finish cleaning up the counter. only to find herself reattached to his chest. leaning her head back onto his shoulder, lily cocked an eyebrow up at him, wondering what he was getting at.

"do you remember our first kiss?" he whispered, "we were right here. the night of the party. you had made us coffee. we were looking at the picture of you right after giving birth." he cooed, hand splaying across her stomach, "that's the most beautiful picture of you I have ever seen." he continued, fingers drawing small circles on her lower stomach.

lily remembered that night so vividly. both because of the events that had lead up to it, but also because of the way he kissed her. so gentle and soft, how it lingered after. the pressure becoming a familiar pleasure to her in the weeks to ensue. it was a night to remember, that was for sure. in more way than one. the morning after may have become her favourite memory to revisit somedays. seeing bucky pouring cereal at the table for a sleepy hunter. engrossed in their own conversations before lily had come down. she wished she could have frozen that moment and lived in it forever. but she knew better now, because those events were all the product of her parents own misfortunes and her son being in a spot of danger.

"alexa, play songs from the fourties." his voice cooed, eliciting an agreement from the machine. soft swing music played through the kitchen and lily shook her head.

"were you this much of a charmer back then as well, james?" she teased, spinning around in his arms and placing her own around his neck.

"much more of a player," he admitted, swaying gently to the music, "steve says I was a real lady killer. I think I was just trying to find the perfect fit." bucky whispered, leaning his forehead down onto lily's, "I had short hair back then too."

"oh I know. we learned about you in our history books," she chuckled, gazing into his deep eyes, "you were a real heart throb for a while in my class."

"yeah? what'd you think of the short hair, doll?" he purred, ghosting his lips against hers.

reaching her hand upwards, and tangling her supple fingers in the strands of dark hair, she smiled, "I like it long. but I did have a massive crush on you with short hair." she admitted, swaying her hips along with the music.

"well lucky for you," he chuckled, "I have a haircut tomorrow. now I know what I'm going to do with it." bucky winked, sliding his arms away from her waist, "I'll see you upstairs, doll."

lily stood breathless as she watched bucky turn and walk up the stairs, sending her a quick wink before disappearing around the corner into her bedroom. her chest heaved up and down as the music continued to play faintly in the background. mostly all she could hear was the pounding of her own heart playing a melody in her ears. blood pumping like madness as she tried to digest the idea of her being able to see him with short hair in real life. it excited her. but what mostly left her gasping for air, was the way his hand ran along her lower stomach. rubbing gentle circles as they talked about her pregnancy and the possibility of a family.

he wanted a family. with her.

stopping the music, lily collected her thoughts. okay, yeah so she was now in a relationship with him. a serious, adult, relationship. something she had hid herself away from for years. yet she couldn't escape him. and the idea of kids...well lily's heart skipped a beat. she'd love to have more, but she was slightly scared with hunter. it had always been the two of them, and she was worried if even bucky was pushing it. but then she remembered the moment from earlier, when he had asked both of them for permission. bucky was slowly but surely taking that father like role that hunter had been missing. that kindness and similarities that lily couldn't necessarily make up for.

letting out a breath, she walked up the stairs and beckoned joey to follow. just as she went to open her bedroom door, she heard faint voices seeping through hunters door. biting her lip, she tip toed towards the white wooden entrance and leaned her ear up against it softly.

"mr. barnes is so cool." luke's voice rang as she listened in. a smile creeping onto her lips.

"yeah!" finn's voice chimed in, "is he like your step-dad or something?"

lily's breath caught in her throat. this could go two very different ways. and she was terrified it would go the way that would result in the end of whatever her and bucky had. if hunter didn't like bucky, or didn't think of him in that way, lily would have read the entire situation wrong. meaning she would have to completely rethink her choices.

"not really. he's like a father figure though," hunter responded, "more than my dad was. plus he also makes my mom happy. we get along well and yeah...I guess I sort of see him like a step dad now that I say it out loud," he continued. and lily felt her entire world become complete at his words. "dude did you just crap yourself?"

dropping her head, lily let out a gentle laugh before turning and walking back towards her own room. opening the door, she saw bucky laying under the covers with the tv on, watching some documentary about who knows what. changing into her pyjama shorts and a loose shirt, lily washed her face and let her hair down before climbing under the soft covers and turning towards bucky. a surge of confidence rang through her. when he caught her eyes though...

well she just couldn't help herself.

she just prayed she stayed quiet enough for rose not to razz her about it.


	22. the one with their first time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: smut smut smutty smut  
> leads off of last chapter, 18+, unprotected sex (birth control, but make sure to wrap it before you tap it), oral (f revieving), penis in vag sex

it was a primal instinct for lily. the way he looked at her. the way he smiled at her. everything about him made lily's heart pick up a few beats. the good, the bad, and the ugly. all of his pain and all of his sorrow. the baggage that came with him. she adored it. knowing how strong he was, and what he was able to conquer over the years. the suffering, the abuse. and for him to come out on top, and be able to make that connection with hunter so quick. not forcing a relationship with him, just allowing it to manifest naturally.

well he just knew the way to a girls heart. 

it started with feverish and heated kisses. but evolved into something lovely. a tenderness that lily hadn't felt in ages. his lips were so careful on hers, as if he were scared of his own passion. this wasn't their first kiss, but it felt like something new. a new door being opened for them. allowing each other into their lives. with all of the pain, all of the hurt. everything the other had faced was open for the other now. a sense of vulnerability that let her breath. she breathed him in, his entirety. his husky scent, his scars, his everything. 

the two rolled from being on their sides to him hovering overtop of her. not as a predator, but as a protector. a shield that kept her out of dangers way. his lips continued to work themselves on her own, only parting when he began to lower them across her jaw. gentle pecks that lead down to her neck. the stubble on his face made a smile break out across her flushed face as he nipped gently at her pulse, soothing the feeling with a quick flick of his tongue.

"bucky..." she whispered, her breath wanton and needy for his touch.

"patience, flower." he cooed, lifting his head to meet her eyes, "I want to make this special." he whispered, running the pad of his flesh thumb across her cheekbone. 

With a lingering kiss, he returned to his actions. She cooed gently at the feeling of his swollen lips returning to the sensitive area he had just been finding a home in. gentle kisses and licks were swiftly administered, creating an intoxicating feeling that she slowly started to grow addicted to. His metal hand tangled itself in the long tresses of her golden locks, savoring the breathy moan that escaped her throat. Her deep hazel eyes fluttered shut, relishing in the feeling of his touch. Everything he did made her feel so special, and the way he pressed himself against her only made her feel more appreciated and cared for.

"Those noises are beautiful, doll." Bucky whispered, pressing a kiss to the shell of her ear before leaning back, hovering just above her hips.

Her breath hitched as his hands made contact with her stomach, slowly inching up the soft fabric. He must have sensed the slight panic from the way her chest heaved a bit faster, and slid his hands away. Bending down, he pressed another tender and soft kiss to the girls puckered lips. The two laid silent for a second, allowing for her to regain her thoughts and composure before they continued. His main priority was her comfort, and she could tell from the way he handled her so gently. Only giving slight pulls to her hair or not moving too quickly. And when her breathing calmed, he leaned back once more, awaiting her permission.

She reached her hands forward, guiding his forward to the hem of her shirt. He gave a gentle smile as he pushed the fabric upward, exposing her marked stomach. The shirt pushed over the peaks of her breasts, exposing her to the room around them. With a final tug, Bucky pulled the shirt over her head, leaving her entirely open for him. Lily stared at him with blown eyes, watching intently as he bent down and pressed gentle kisses to her stomach. Just as he had done before. She let a shaky breath escape from her lips as he moved his actions upwards, pressing a peck to the valley between her breasts. His steel blue eyes flicked upwards to meet hers and she felt the heat burn a fire onto her cheeks at his smiling face.

"What're you looking at?" she cooed, threading her fingers through his dark hair, head tilting to the side as he sat back once more.

"Just the most beautiful woman I've seen." he returned, pressing another kiss to her lips before moving down and taking one of her nipples swiftly into his mouth.

Her jaw fell open at the sensation. His tongue worked carefully over the bud as she let a gentle whine escape her throat. It had been so long since someone had touched her in such a way, and god was she happy Bucky was the one making her feel the way she did. He let out a throaty moan over the bed, causing a new type of sensation to wash over Lily. She leaned her head backwards, pushing the crown of her head further into the plush pillows beneath her.

"You're killing me here, doll." he muttered, rubbing gentle circles into her side as he switched his actions to her opposite breast. He flicked and nibbled softly at the bud, eliciting moans and whines from the woman beneath him.

With one final flick, he removed himself from her breast, travelling down her stomach and tugging at the waistband of her pyjama pants. Quickly, she grabbed onto his wrist and sat up, taking his face in her hands and resting her forehead against his. She left a fleeting peck to the tip of his nose before her own hands worked their way down his sides to the bottom of his sleep shirt. Lily noticed the hitch in his breath and dropped her gentle fingers. They reenacted the same scene from earlier, pressing soft lips against soft lips as a way to establish comfort with one another. When his hands reached hers once more, she continued her previous feat. Tugging up the fabric, she slowly and carefully reached upwards to reveal the thick chest of his.

She hesitated slightly as she reached his shoulders, knowing that would be a sensitive area for him. With the scars littering his left one that connected his flesh to metal. But she found it beautiful. A work of art. She pulled the rest of the fabric off and she looked up at the man. His eyes avoided hers as she ran careful fingers across the scars. Ridges and bumps creating a perfect rhythm as she continued, bending down and pressing a soft and ginger kiss to the area. Reminding him that she thought he was handsome, beautiful even. No matter what scars or bruises he had, he was a sight to behold.

One she never wanted to be without.

"This," she whispered, pressing a few more gentle kisses to the scars, "this is what makes you incredible." Lily cooed, smiling from underneath him.

His lips pressed against hers once more in a more passionate exchange, something she wasn't sure was possible. The way their lips moved against one anothers was nothing short of intoxicating. Both fitting together like two pieces in a puzzle. He leaned her back once more, and she allowed her head to fall back against the pillows once more. Bucky hovered above her, fingers tugging at the waistband of her pyjama pants once more. Lily lifted her hips slightly to help him, biting her lip as the rest of her body was exposed to the little world around them.

His metal hand crazed her hips gently as he ducked his head down, leaving feather light kisses to her hip bones. Her breath caught in her throat as he carefully spread her knees apart, his breath fanning over the inside of her thighs. Biting on her bottom lip, Lily watched intently as he lifted his eyes to meet hers. Bucky grinned gently as he continued to advance, leaving peck on her clit. She let a breath moan fall from her lips as he ghosted his tongue ever so gently across where his lips just were. Her calloused hand moved down her body, gripping onto the long tresses of his hair and giving them a gentle tug, seemingly catching him off-guard.

"Those noises are driving me mad, doll." he whispered, pushing forward and running his tongue through her folds, before circling the bud graciously.

She gasped at the intense waves of pleasure that coursed over her body like waves. The feeling of his tongue probing gently at her drenched hole, eating her gently yet as though she was his last meal. Any time she attempted to close her thighs around his head, he'd hold them open wider than Lily ever knew they could go. Another whine escaped her throat as she rolled her hips into his face, using her body to plead for more. He chuckled darkly against her core, dipping the very tip of his tongue into her. Her head fell backwards and eyes squeezed tightly together, hiding her lust blown iris's. She could barely contain her moans as he ate her out like a starved man. He had taken her whines and moans as a signal to further his actions, and continued to push her forward. Bucky would find himself pushing her directly to the edge, all while simply flicking her clit and sucking at the different areas, and then giving her nothing but kitty licks. His nose would bump against her clit whenever he dove down further into her, savouring her taste.

"B- Buck- " she cried out, shoving her forearm into her mouth to try and quiet herself, feeling embarrassed at the noises that sang from her throat. With a soft laugh, he sucked harshly at her clit, beckoning her.

And once again, just as she teetered on the edge, he fully pulled himself away, chin and beard glistening with her. Leaning forward, he kissed her softly, allowing her to taste herself before pulling back and ridding of his own pants, "I want the first time I make you cum to be around me, doll." he winked, fisting his cock slowly, "do you have pro- "

"I have an IUD." she smiled, leaning back against the pillows as she admired his body. The scars that littered his taut skin, the dips around his hips and the etching of muscles along his abdomen. The dips in his hips leading to where his arm was pumping his dick.

Lily had to do a double take. She expected something substantial, but he was past that. Her eyes sat glued on it as he walked forward, crawling onto the bed once more. His metal hand reached forward and tilted her chin upwards, forcing her eyes to meet his. Those ice blue eyes were blown wide with lust that they were almost black. The only thing illuminating the area around them being the shine of the moon from the large window at the side of the room. He leaned down and pressed a loving and gentle kiss to her lips once more, before he probed at her entrance with the head of his cock.

Lily's mouth fell open wide as he slowly sunk into her. She winced ever so slightly at the feeling of him stretching her. It had been a bit since she had anything inside of her, but he stretched her in every right way possible. She groaned and hissed at the feeling, but the moment he slid further in until she had him fully sheathed inside of her, a sigh of relief escaped Lily's lips. Bucky hovered over her for a brief moment, both hands on either side of her head as he allowed her time to adjust.

Their eyes met, and with a gentle nod of her head, he pulled back. His tip sat comfortably inside of her, teasing and edging along her pleasure. A whine sang from the back of her throat, Lily's hips shifting in an attempt to gain any sort of friction. Placing his flesh hand on the side of her face, Bucky smiled slightly and ran a finger along the girl's bottom lip, causing her eyes to squeeze shut at the tantalizing movement. The snapping of the man's hips came as a sudden burst of pleasure to Lily, and her eyes shot wide open at the feeling of his pelvis pressing against her clit.

"That's better," Bucky purred, "love seeing those beautiful eyes of yours. Keep 'em open for me prinţesă."

A feral like moan danced from the girls throat at the use of Romanian. The way his tongue rolled the accents, just as they had rolled against her heat not even moments before. Her frail hand reached up and tangled in the dark strands of his hair, tugging gently to egg him on further. And it worked. With a low growl, Bucky snapped his hips at a pace Lily could only describe as desperate. Desperate for his pleasure, was her original thought, but the way he looked at her let her know that this was all about her. And them showing just how much they cared for one another.

"God baby you feel so damn good." He muttered, leaning back and grabbing the back of her legs and pushing them back, her ankles resting on his shoulders.

"S-Shit, Buck!" Lily exclaimed, hips grinding against Bucky's pelvis as he continued a bruising pace, skin slapping against skin. The entire room filled with lude noises and Lily never thought she would want to hear them on repeat. His grunts, her moans, the skin on skin contact.

The entire situation was intoxicating. The blonde's breath grew rapid as his flesh hand moved down towards her clit, rubbing quick circles as he chased her high. His own hips stuttered as she pulled and yanked at his dark hair, hips moving against his as they both tried to savour the moment. He dropped her legs and continued to pile drive her further into the bed. Grunts now fanning his breath into her face, both of their chests rising and falling at a new speed as the intense finale seemed to be drawing near.

"You gonna cum prinţesă?" Bucky whispered into her ear, nibbling gently at her ear, "Cum for me doll, I wanna feel you all over my cock."

With a final thrust, Lily felt her wits go numb as the coil deep within her released. Her mouth fell open wide and eyes squeezed shut once again. His hips stuttered at the tight grip that held his dick in place, only allowing him to move slightly, putting pressure on his head. As she rode her eye, the thick ribbons of his cum coated the insides of her walls. Creating a warm and comfortable feeling deep within her. As he pulled out, and rolled to the side, the two both let out relieved sighs.

"You're amazing." Bucky whispered as he pressed a kiss to Lily's cheek, "Let me go get a towel and clean you up, doll."


	23. the one where he promised

Close to two months. Lily and Bucky had been together for close to two months. Something Lily would have never thought for herself. Especially not after her divorce. Scott had made her feel so empty, so unloveable. For a while she doubted even divorcing him all those years ago, feeling as though she would never find anyone ever again. Because he had convinced her she wasn't deserving of it. That he was the only person who could love her. Boy, if she knew where she would end up, she would have laughed in his face at those words. Because despite the mental trauma she dealt with from her first marriage, Lily found herself on the other side.

But, she was saying goodbye to the man who helped her feel loved again.

"You promise you'll be home for Christmas, right?" Lily whispered as she unwrapped her arms from the taller man, looking up at him with wide eyes, "Hunt's really excited for it."

Nodding, Bucky pressed a quick kiss to the blonde's lips, "I promise, doll." the brunette whispered, "And I promise I will call you everyday until I'm home. It shouldn't be too long."

Lily nodded and pursed her lips. Bucky and Sam had been tasked with a mission a week before Christmas. And listen, he had gone on missions before throughout their relationship. But those were mostly weekend jobs. This one was predicted to be a week long, taking it all the way up to Christmas Eve. Lily had become accustomed to waking up with the supersoldier at her side, admiring her and tracing gentle patterns on her exposed skin. Or waking up to the smell of pancakes and faint voices coming from the kitchen as Bucky helped Hunter with homework, and Rose cooked. So far, he had been most helpful with the twelve year olds history lessons. No surprise to anyone.

Running her hand through the short cut of his hair on the back of his head, Lily smiled sadly. It had been a few months since he had cut his hair as well, and lord was the blonde obsessed. She loved it. And of course, she would miss playing with it as he fell asleep on her chest at night. Or watching Hunter pout since he couldn't braid it anymore. Or attempt to braid it. In reality, Lily knew she would just miss him. His smell, his touch. But she knew she wouldn't, nor couldn't, stop him. This was his job and Lily loved that, that he was out there protecting people. But the selfish part of her wished she could just keep him wrapped in her arms.

But it would be a nice break for the two of them. Every couple needs that.

"Are you leaving already?" Hunter's voice called as he walked down the wooden stairs with Rose, "Can't you stay for breakfast?"

Lily stepped back with her sister as she watched Bucky bend down to Hunter's level. Rose wrapped her arm around her sister's shoulders, tugging her into her side. Lily rested her opposite arm around the taller sisters waist landing on the side of Rose's five month pregnant belly. The younger of the two had learned she was having a baby boy, and now the big deal in the house was figuring out a name for when the baby came. Hunter was hell bent on Bucky, which only made everyone chuckle.

"I'll be back for Christmas, buddy," Bucky smiled tightly, ruffling the blonde boy's hair, "and I'll talk to you and your mom everyday while I'm in Vienna. I promise." The brunette nodded, lifting his pinky to the young boy.

Lily felt her heart swell as she watched Hunter bypass the pinky promise and wrap his arms tightly around the Avengers neck. Leaning her head against her sister's shoulder, Lily grinned at the interaction. She took note of the way Bucky tensed slightly, only to relax and close his eyes as he tugged the son of his girlfriend closer, and gave him a tight squeeze. The moment was interrupted when Bucky's phone rang, signaling that it really was time for him to leave.

"Alright I've gotta go, Hunt," he hummed, kissing the top of the boys head, "I'll tell you all the cool things that happen. Be good for your mom." The tall man grinned, standing and turning to Lily. He hugged Rose briefly before kissing Lily one last time, "I'll call you when we get there okay?"

Lily nodded and watched as he turned to leave. All three watched intently as the superhero got into his car, pulling away and driving off from the suburb. Leaving the three Osborne's standing in the doorway of the freezing December morning. 

"Alright Hunt, let's get you fed before school." Rose whispered, tugging the twelve year old away from the door as Lily watched the black car disappear past the intersection.

\-----

The day Bucky leaves, the day Lily has the most stressful day at work imaginable. Two appendix surgeries, a few colonoscopies, and things that Lily didn't even want to talk about. She had also gotten a call from Hunter's school saying he had seemed off that day, and that he was even quieter than usual. Not to mention, Rose was blowing up her phone with pregnancy questions. Overall, Lily wanted nothing more that day than to have Bucky at home, telling her she would be okay and that one stressful or bad day was normal.

Instead of Bucky, however, she got Gen.

"I know it's a Thursday but I brought wine." The woman grinned as Lily pulled open the front door, "Figured might help you take your mind off of how awful it must be to have your supersoldier boyfriend gone on a mission to save the world." She teased sarcastically, earning an eye roll from the blonde as the two walked into the kitchen.

Lily had indeed attempted cooking an actual dinner. Over the past few months Bucky had mostly handled dinner when he came over while Lily took care of breakfast the next day. But, Bucky would be gone for a week, which meant Lily had to properly cook again. And it's not like she had no idea how to, she'd been cooking for Hunter and herself for twelve years now. Was she very good at it? Not really. But she made do, and that's just how it had to be for the next few days. Even though everyone in the house knew at some point, Lily would give up and either pass the reins to Rose, or order pizza. 

The Osborne's were known for their intelligence, not their chef skills.

Lily sometimes found herself dwelling on her parents. The entire thing had come out of nowhere. One moment she believed her parents to be innocent scientists, only to find out that they were trying to get their hands on technology that was somehow connected to Hunter. The entire situation was confusing for her, and she shied away from the details that Bucky had offered her whenever they spoke on the issue. But she didn't want to face the truth. It only hurt her more. And as it stood, the only Osborne's left standing with their free will and morals intact were Rose and Lily. Both living together once again and continuing on with their lives, knowing that their parents had made a mess, and had to lie in it.

"Rose were you around for the last time that your dearest sister decided to cook a stir fry?" Gen joked as she placed the wine bottle down, "Because I distinctly remember having to almost call the fire department." 

"It was not that bad!" Lily laughed as she tossed the rest of the vegetables into her skillet, "Did I have to buy a new stove? Yes. But there was no need for the fire department. Right Hunt?"

The young boy glanced up from his phone and raised an eyebrow at his mother, "...Mum you raised me not to lie." He stated simply.

"Wow, you two even turned my own son against me." Lily chuckled as she mixed the ingredients around on the hot surface. Just as the conversation began once more, laughter and sweet tones of happiness mixing with the gentle music playing in the background, Lily's phone began to ring.

But she wasn't the quick one.

Lily watched and laughed as Hunter hurried to the phone. The entire time since he had gotten home from school and Lily from work, he had been waiting by her side. All because Bucky promised he would call every night. It made Lily's heart swell, the amount of love that the twelve year old had for the man. Of course it worried her in some aspect, seeing as she didn't know where the relationship would lead. Scared that if it went sideways, it would leave the young boy broken. Possibly even more so than Lily would be. She was very aware of the fact that Hunter would try and attach himself to a father figure, seeing as he lacked one. But Lily just...fell hard for Bucky. Had she fallen in love? Well she wasn't entirely sure just yet. But she knew she would. Whether it be soon or a bit longer. She knew it would happen. And it crept around corners and hid under furniture, waiting for the perfect moment to strike and take over Lily's heart.

"Hi Bucky!" Hunter's voice rang out as he slid up on the blonde's phone. Lily dropped the hand she had out to reach for it, smiling softly at the bright and excited face of her son lit up the room.

"Hey there buddy," Bucky replied, his voice muffled slightly as it rang through the phone speakers, "what're you and mom up to?"

"She's making dinner right now. But she had a stressful day at work so it won't be surprising if we ordered pizza." Hunter bluntly stated, causing Lily to scoff as she continued working on the food.

"I haven't even been gone a day and she's already trying to burn your house down!" Bucky chuckled, joking along with the boy, "Is it just you and mom there?" 

"No, Aunt Gen and Auntie Rose are here." Hunter answered. 

As the conversation went on, Lily's heart sunk slightly, yearning to hear the man's voice upclose, see the dimples on his cheeks and the lights of his eyes. But she knew that it meant the world to Bucky that Hunter loved talking to him so much, and she knew how much it meant to Hunter to see the supersoldier. The smile on the young boy's face said that much as the two continued with their conversation. School, Joey, and what Hunter wanted for Christmas were the main topics of the conversation between the two as Lily finished up dinner. Placing the meal onto four plates, Lily glanced back at Hunter and felt that same sunken heart swell at the bright and vibrant smile that was placed on her son's cheeks. She hadn't seen him so effortlessly happy in a while, and she never wanted to see that smile fade. 

"Well we are just eating dinner now, Buck." Lily called as she leaned over Hunter's shoulder to place hisplate down, "Shouldn't you get some sleep? Isn't it midnight in Vienna? And you had a long flight darling." Leaning back, Lily placed her hands on her scrub covered hips, tilting her head to the side.

"It's alright, doll. I wanted to see your guys' faces before I went to bed." He cooed, readjusting on his bed, glancing over to the side at the scoff from Sam that echoed through the speakers as well.

"That's very sweet of you Buck, but I'm sure Sam would like to sleep too." Lily chuckled, taking a seat in her own chair, picking up her fork.

"Thank you Lily!" Sam called, earning a chuckle from the entire call.

"Alright I'll let you guys go for now then." Bucky sighed, gesturing for Hunter to turn the phone towards Lily, "I'll call you later if I'm still awake and the grumpy one of the two of us is asleep."

"Alright terminator let's not go that far." Sam called over once more.

"Well call me in an hour or so then." Lily smiled, before saying her farewells and ended the call.

The table fell silent as Lily stared at the now black screen of the phone her son was holding. Clearing her throat, the blonde reached forward and slid the device into her pocket. Without another word, the group dug into the food. Either she had actually done well, or everyone was treading on thin ice around her in fear that the lack of conversation she and Bucky had may have hurt her a bit more than she was letting on. Of course she would never say any of this outloud, but she wished that Bucky would have said something so that she could talk to him. But, if he was awake, she would hopefully get the chance in a few hours when Hunter had gone to bed and Gen left or settled in on the pullout couch in the basement for the night.

\-----

Three hours later, two glasses of wine, and one sleeping son later, Lily finally found the comfort of her own bed. Gen had taken the pullout couch, the rest of the bottle of wine in her stomach. Lily climbed into bed, turning on her TV as Joey settled into his bed. It was nine o'clock, meaning it was 2 am over in Austria. And Lily was positive that the man had fallen asleep. But it was when she finally settled in, a romantic movie playing in the background to only further her sad mood, when her phone rang. Joey's head popped up and the blonde chuckled as she reached over and slid her phone across the screen, answering the call.

"Why're you up so late, Buck?" she asked, reaching over and turning on the lamp beside her bed.

Winds whipped past Bucky's mic as the sight of Austria lit up at night took over the entirety of her screen. She smiled at the flurries of snow that fell down onto the stone streets and covered the beautiful architecture. Lily rubbed her eyes with the heel of her palm before rolling onto her side, showing Joey's head laying on the pillow beside her on camera.

"I'm not even gone for a day and the dog already stole my spot!" Bucky chuckled, turning the camera around to display his chiseled features and slightly tousled short hair.

"Well this is where he typically sleeps when it's just me in bed." Lily chuckled, eyes creasing slightly at the edges as she watched the man seemingly admire her face on his screen.

"I want to bring you here one day. To Vienna. It's beautiful here." He cooed, resting his arms on the stone rail that surrounded what seemed to be the balcony of him and Sam's room, "There are so many places I want to take you, prinţesă." 

"I'm not much of a traveller." she chuckled, burrowing further into her pillows, pulling the large shirt that actually belonged to Bucky over her chin.

"Doll I've got some news," Bucky sighed, his voice dropping slightly, "Sam and I did some scoping on the mission. It may take the entire week. I thought we would be done earlier but..." his voice trailed off, running a hand through his hair.

Lily sighed gently, running a hand through her golden hair, "That's alright, darling. I just really have to stress how much I need you home for Christmas. How much Hunter needs you home for Christmas." She persisted, moving her eyes from his face on her screen to the soft fur of her dog.

"I'll be home, prinţesă. I promise."

\-----

Christmas Eve came. Not a word from Bucky. He had texted her briefly but the two hadn't been on a call for a day or two. She wasn't able to get any updates from either Sam or Bucky, leaving her with zero contact the day before christmas eve and the day of. Lily's anxiety ridden mind immediately went to the worst. The mission had gone sideways, and she no longer had a boyfriend. God she wished that he would just text her, or get in contact with anyone so that she would just know he's okay. She just wanted him to be okay, and to be able to tell Hunter he was on his way home.

"Hunt can you help me finish up?" Lily called from the living room as she searched for the stocking that would complete the set on the fireplace, "Do you remember where you put your stocking?"

The sound of four feet walking forward grew closer as Rose and Hunter came into the living room. Rose gave her older sister a pitiful smile, knowing that she was avoiding hanging up the stocking that Hunter had chosen for Bucky. It sat on the couch beside the fireplace, taunting Lily at the idea that he wouldn't be home. That something dark happened. She could barely even fathom the idea of the man not being there for Christmas after he promised her and promised Hunter. The day was too important. But most of all, she just wanted to make sure he was safe most of all.

"Here," Hunter smiled and picked up his red knit stocking, "are you going to hang up Bucky's stocking?" the boy asked, looking up at his mom after hanging up his own stocking.

Lily's hand faltered as she readjusted Rose's stocking. Squeezing her eyes shut she let out a gentle laugh, looking down at the young blonde boy who stared back up at her with large hazel eyes. Tilting her head, she smiled and bent down, kissing the top of his head. Nodding, she reached over towards the newest addition, and stared at it for a second. Deciding to rip the bandaid off quickly, she placed it right next to her own, admiring Rose's stitching of the man's name. Lily traced the cursive name with her thumb, looking down at her feet that were covered by warm slippers.

"Alright buddy, let's get the milk and cookies out for Santa and then get you ready for bed okay?" Lily smiled tightly, squeezing the boy's shoulder and leading him into the kitchen, Rose following behind.

After setting the cookies out, Lily followed the boy up the stairs to his bedroom. After he brushed his teeth and crawled into his bed, she knew what was coming. The way he looked at her. The sadness in his eyes and the clear question that sat on the tip of his tongue. Hunter wanted to know about Bucky, and where he was. Why he hadn't come home yet, despite promising he would be home for Christmas. The two sat in silence for a moment, before the younger boy decided to make the first move.

"Why isn't he home?" Hunter whispered, looking up at the blonde woman, eyes wide.

"I'm sure he'll be home for tomorrow, love, but I just don't want you to get your hopes up," Lily sighed, running her hand down the boy's cheek, "You know how important his job is. It may take time, but he's keeping people safe."

"I know..." the young boy sighed, pulling his covers closer to his chin, "I just thought it would be nice to have him here."

"Well, Aunt Gen will be here tomorrow too so you have her." Lily smiled sadly, leaning down and pressing a kiss to the boys forehead, "Goodnight Hunt, I love you."

Flicking off the light, Lily left her son's room with a shaky breath. It pained her to see him so upset that Bucky wasn't home yet. It killed her too. She knew how much it would mean to not only her, but Rose even. But especially Hunter. It had always been the entire Osborne family going up to their parents house in Long Island, or coming down to Lily's and gathering around the firepit in her backyard. But now, it was the four of them, Gen, Rose, Lily, and Hunter. But Bucky would have just been the cherry on top for everyone. 

Climbing back down the stairs, Lily sighed and dropped onto the couch next to Rose. The younger sister pulled the elder of the two tight into her side, pressing a kiss to the moms temple. The two sat in silence for a moment, before it dawned on them, they had a shit ton of presents to wrap from Santa. Heaving themselves off of the couch, Lily beckoned Joey down to the basement with them, where all of the secret presents were hidden underneath a bunch of blankets and cooking supplies in a closet. When the clock struck one, the two had finished. Lily felt the tears gathering in her waterline, and the moment her door shut, they fell.

Sliding down onto her butt, Lily felt the hot tears stream down her face at a rapid rate. She longed for her sons happiness, and the fact she couldn't do anything to help mend his mood, killed her on the inside. Especially on Christmas. Leaving Hunter with a missing father figure, and Lily with anxiety that something bad had happened to him. 

Tucking herself into bed, Lily attempted to calm down. Everytime she tossed and turned, it seemed as though the clock fast forwarded another half an hour. It was three thirty, almost four, when she had finally begun to doze off, when the sound of the lock of the door down the stairs, began to make gentle beeping noises. Sitting up straight, Lily grabbed onto the closest object she could find and slowly cracked open her door. Joey followed at her ankles as she and the dog walked down the stairs slowly, careful not to make any noise as they stood on the landing.

Glancing over the banister, Lily watched intently at the figure that loomed at the door of her home. The outdoor lights automatically turned off around one am, leaving the figure only illuminated by the light of the moon behind them. Staring at the figure, Lily gripped at the object in her hand tighter, soon realizing it was actually a dog toy. Scoffing at herself, the blonde crept down the hardwood stairs, gripping the iron banister as her bare feet padded gently on the floor. It was only when the door pushed open, when Lily retreated behind the protective dog, who was now bending into a pounce position.

When the figure stepped into the home, Lily dropped the toy with a feeling of shock and anxiety coursing through her veins.


	24. the one when they have christmas

Bloody. Battered. Bruised. Fallen face. Messy hair. Lily could hardly find the words to really capture the image that stood before her. He just looked so...broken. The blondes heart ached as the two stood mere feet apart, staring at each other in the foyer of her home. Reaching her hand to the side, Lily flicked on the light, illuminating the face that she had missed over the past week. His typically bright blue eyes had a darker tint to them, highlighted by the discoloured bruise that surrounded one.

She took a few steps forward, and he followed suit. He dropped his bag with a soft thud as his hands enclosed her face, their foreheads falling against one anothers. Lily felt his breath fan against her face in laboured spurts, as hers quicked at the feeling of his rough hands on her cheeks. The world fell away around them as they relished in each other once more, that safe feeling he always provided her returning to the blondes bones. It was when he winced at the feeling of her hands on his chest, when Lily realized he was injured and well, that was her speciality.

"Go sit in the kitchen, I'll get the first aid kit." She whispered, pressing a gentle and ginger kiss to the man's lips before reluctantly pulling away.

Her fingers lingered briefly on his hand as Lily turned, walking towards the main floor bathroom where she kept the first aid kit. Her hands were shaking and mind was in a flurry. He looked so bruised, so hurt and broken. Lily was scared to even ask what happened on the mission. Sure she was curious, but the fact he was alive, and back with her, well that's all that Lily needed. Being able to see him and take care of him.

Picking up the white box, Lily made her way back towards the kitchen where Bucky sat with Joey, petting the dog carefully with his metal arm. Pulling out the white wooden chair next to the man, she opened the box in silence. Neither seemed to know what to say, and Lily didn't want him to talk. She just wanted to feel his presence return, and appreciate the moments where there wasn't anything to say. And just appreciate him being there with her, alive and safe now.

"How was the flight?" she whispered, looking up at him through her lashes as she helped him remove the leather jacket that was now ruined.

He didn't answer. His face was solemn and eyes distracted. Lily knew not to push it. Some mornings he would wake up in a similar state, mind too busy to fully form sentences. She knew he came with baggage and mental setbacks, but she would do whatever it took to make sure he was happy and felt safe during those times. So instead, she worked in silence. Helping him pull the blood stained blue henley off, and examining the gashes and bruises that littered his chest and entire upper body. The sight made Lily feel slightly sick to her stomach, seeing him in such pain.

Twenty minutes passed and Lily was still working, stitching and sterilizing. Neither spoke. But when she reached the largest gash that covered the side of his abdomen, the man lifted the young doctor's head gently with his flesh hand, making their eyes meet. His fingers tapped at her lips and she smiled solemnly at his request. It had become a tradition for the two that whenever he felt his darkest, she'd sing to him. It took awhile for her to feel comfortable doing it, due to her own nerves. But she saw the comfort it brought him, and she nodded.

"I've never felt this strong," she began, voice hushed as she prepared a cotton swab with alcohol, "I am invincible, how could this go wrong?" she sang, leaning forward and dabbing at the wound, "No, here, here's where we belong, I see a road ahead, I never thought I'd dare to tread." She squinted her eyes at the sharp hiss that fell from his lips.

"Like an imagine passing by, my love, my life," she continued, cleaning the blood around the wound, "in the mirror of your eyes, my love, my life."

"I can see it all so clearly, all I love so dearly," she began stitching the gash, working carefully, "Images passing by, like reflections of your mind, my love, my life," cutting the thread, "are the words I try to find, my love, my life," she unwrapped a bit of gauze to place overtop of the cut, "but I know I don't possess you, with all my heart, god bless you."

"You will be my love and my life," she continued, cutting off a piece of medical tape and sticking the gauze on his stomach, "You're my one and only."

Dropping her hands, Lily looked up at the man before her. They sat there for a brief moment, silence falling over them like a warm blanket. Lily wiped her hands on a towel and took his metal hand into her own, placing gentle kisses to the tips of each finger. Tilting her head, the blonde shifted her chair closer carefully, making sure she wasn't moving a bit too fast. When he didn't stop her, but leaned forward a bit, she smiled. She reached her own hand towards his face, wiping the small tear that ran down his cheek.

"You're home now, it's okay." Lily whispered, tilting her head and leaning it against his forehead, "I'm right here."

Bucky tugged her forward, resulting in her finding a seat in his lap. She readjusted so her legs fell on either side of his. Tipping her chin upwards, Bucky found comfort with his head nuzzled deep within the blonde's chest. She cradled his head into her, pressing gentle kisses to the neatly trimmed hair atop of his head. He smelled of dirt and grime, but Lily didn't mind. He was back with her and safe, that's all she cared about.

"You're okay, I'm not going anywhere," she whispered, "I promise."

\-----

"Thanks Sam," Lily concluded, "he's asleep right now. Thanks for calling. I'll make sure he knows you did."

"Oh no don't let tin man know that I actually give a damn about him," Sam teased, a chuckle escaping from him, "Merry Christmas Lily."

"Merry Christmas Sam." She finished, hanging up the phone and letting out a shaky breath.

Placing her phone down on the counter, Lily let out a soft sigh. Sam had called her at the crack of dawn, when she had also been awake. He was worried about Bucky, and the silence that had covered the two the entire way back from Vienna. The darker attitude and air that had seemed to follow the man. But he was asleep now, peacefully in her room. Shaking her head, Lily returned to the pancake mix she was mixing for breakfast. She figured it would be nice to make the sleeping people upstairs homemade pancakes for Christmas morning. And she figured it would be nice for Bucky to have something homecooked after a week of god knows what.

After flipping the final pancake onto the plate, and setting it into the middle of the table, she was finished. But there were a few things missing...three people to be exact. Joey sat at the stairs and stared up at the blonde. Chuckling, she placed her hands on her, well Bucky's, shirt waist and shook her head. Beckoning the dog with her, she made her way to Rose's room, opening the door to her sister putting her hair up.

"Morning," Rose cooed as she turned around in her chair, "I would've come down last but I didn't really want to."

"Well at least you're awake. Breakfast is ready." Lily nodded, turning and walking towards her son's room.

"Mornin' mom!" Hunter exclaimed, turning to his mom with wrapping paper stuck to his cheek. Lily furrowed her eyebrows and laughed at the boy before walking into the room and bending down, and carefully removing the item from his face.

"What're you up to, hm?" she asked, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

"Wrapping Bucky's present." The blonde boy shrugged, turning his attention back to taping the carefully wrapped present.

"You got Bucky a present?" Lily cooed, "...When did you get Bucky a present?" she chuckled, glancing down at it.

"Doesn't matter," Hunter shrugged, glancing up at his mother, "I'll be down in a few for breakfast!"

Shaking her head, Lily stood back to her feet and left the boys room. She hesitated slightly at her own door, not sure whether or not she wanted to wake Bucky. She could tell the week was stressful for him, and as much as she would love to have him come down for Christmas, she didn't want to interrupt him. It was Joey looking up at her with big puppy dog eyes that convinced her to open the door. She cracked it slightly, peering in. There Bucky sat, a picture frame in his hands on the side of Lily's bed. Opening the door further, she leaned her shoulder against the doorframe, admiring his back profile. HIs head was dipped low, shoulders stretched tight with taut skin and tight muscles rippling beneath.

"You know you can't sneak up on a supersoldier," Bucky's raspy voice echoed through the room, causing the blonde to chuckle, "I just woke up."

"Well if you're up for it, you can join a very upset twelve year old boy who has been hoping for an impromptu return of a certain hundred year old Avenger." She tilted her head to the side, walking further into the room.

"He up already?" Bucky chuckled, his eyes still trained on the photo.

"Yeah. He's always an early riser on Christmas. And everyday, really." She sighed, walking forward and crawling over the bed, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

Placing her chin on the tight muscle that connected his neck and shoulder, pressing a gentle kiss to the man's jaw, relishing in the slight burn of his scruff against her face. A feeling she longed for the past week. Turning her eyes down to the photo her boyfriend had been staring at, she smiled slightly. At his feet sat his open bag, and Lily put the puzzle together. He had taken it with him during his mission. The photo he held in his hands was one Lily tended to try and hide in the multitude of photos she had. It was the same one that he had stared at the night they shared their first kiss. The picture of Lily cradling a newborn baby boy, Hunter. She hated the photo. But it was Bucky's favourite, and he always reminded her of it. The look of pure radiance on her newly relaxed face as she stared down at the light of her life. She didn't miss the pain of that day, but lord did she miss the feeling she had the first time she held the boy in her arms.

"I looked at it every night," Bucky whispered, "I can never put into words the beauty you have in this photo." he continued, running his thumb across her face underneath the frame.

"Every night?" she chuckled, kissing his cheek, "that's romantic. Never pinned you as such a sap." Lily teased, running her fingers down his arms.

"Yeah?" Bucky sighed, a small laugh escaping his lips, "I call bull, doll."

"Mm me too, now come on love, time for breakfast and to make a little boy's Christmas even more magical." Lily smiled, turning his chin and pecking his lips before crawling off of the bed.

\-----

"Hunt!" Lily called from the kitchen, bouncing on her feet as Rose and Bucky conversed at the table, "Come on the pancakes will get cold!"

Leaning around the banister, she grinned at the boy who came from his room with the same gift he was wrapping earlier. Her heart picked up its pace as she watched him descend down the stairs, before meeting her at the bottom. Lily took the gift and jogged to the living room, placing it underneath the tree before walking into the kitchen, beckoning her son forward. When he walked in, the look on his face made the pain of the past week disappear as though it had never happened. His jaw dropping ever so slightly as he stared at the man that had become more of a father figure than Scott ever was, sitting at the table once again with pancakes on his plate. Even Rose fell silent as the moment played out in front of her. Bucky stood, rounding the table and opened his arms to the young boy.

Hunter didn't hesitate. The blonde ran forward and threw himself at the brunette, tugging him close. Lily gripped onto the wooden island, pursing her lips as the tears threatened to fall from her waterline. The only noise in the entire kitchen was that of the gentle Christmas music playing from the speaker, and Joey scratching his ear as he waited for Lily to give him a bit of pancake. But the only thing on Lily's mind was the way Hunter held Bucky, with his eyes shut tight, deep and shaky breaths vibrating through his body. She had never seen him hug Scott like that, and her heart never felt more full. Of course the looming thought of this somehow being ruined continued to plague her mind. But she just wanted to live in the present, and convince herself that it will be okay. That she had nothing to worry about.

"Merry Christmas, buddy." Bucky whispered, placing a kiss to the top of Hunter's head as he stood up, looking down at the boy with so much admiration in his eyes it almost knocked Lily over.

"I was worried you would break your promise." Hunter responded, fiddling with the bottom of his pyjama shirt.

"I think if I did your mom would have killed me," the supersoldier teased, "now c'mon. Let's eat. I got some gifts for you."

Just before he sat down, Lily caught Bucky's hand, nodding her head to her office. The two made their way over, shutting the door behind them. Lily looked up at the taller man and smiled, tugging him down by his shirt collar and pressed her lips against his, relishing in the feeling of them on hers. His arms wrapped protectively around her waist as he tugged her closer, their bodies completely bending and melting into one another. Lily wasn't sure why she had pulled him out of her sister and son's view, she had kissed him in front of both of them many times. But she wanted to put an extra level to it, and really make him feel how much she appreciated the way he was with Hunter, or even just the way he was, period. Because he made Lily feel as though she were truly someone who could be loved and cared for, and didn't make her feel guilty for her emotions. He gave Lily the experience she longed for all those years ago with the man she thought was the one for her, despite his clearly toxic ways. But being there with Bucky, tucked away in her office...Lily knew what it was like to finally feel truly loved by another. And she never wanted to lose that.

"I missed you," she whispered against his lips, eyes fluttering shut as she knocked his nose with hers, "I didn't get to say it last night. But shit, I missed you. So much." Lily finished, the tears that she had held in falling gently down her cheeks, her hands fisting the material of his pyjama shirt tightly.

"I missed you too, doll," he replied, wrapping his arms even tighter around her waist, "I'm sorry for last ni- "

Her finger found his lips, and she shook her head, "I never want to hear you apologize for that. Ever. You've been through so much, Buck. I will never judge you for how you get through it. I'll sit there and sing, I'll bandage all of your wounds. I don't care. Because that's you, it's a part of you." She concluded, pressing her finger into his chest.

His forehead nuzzled against hers and the two stood there for a second. Four months ago, he was a stranger in a coffee shop that Lily had only seen in the news, history books, and in interviews. But there he stood, holding her tightly as though she would slip away if he released her, spending Christmas with her son and sister. And she wasn't scared. She wasn't nervous he would up and leave her, or find someone else. She wasn't worried that he would put them in danger or somehow harm them. He was the safest place on Earth, in the eyes of Lily Osborne. The way he would listen to Hunter, instead of straight up giving his own opinion. How he and Rose would tease and bicker back and forth, yet be able to talk about Rose's worries with her pregnancy. How he and Gen got on better than she had ever seen her best friend talk with in a while.

But most importantly, how he reminded Lily she was enough. That what she had made of herself was enough. How she had managed to raise a son in a way that was a dream in most people's eyes. How she could balance the life of a doctor as well as a mother, and manage to be a fantastic sister and friend at the same time. But also reminded her that her flaws were okay as well. Her obsessive need to please everyone, her somewhat back handed comments that she doesn't intend to come off as rude. Her closed off mind that won't allow others in, and hides anything she deemed valuable. The way she hesitated with him every so often, because she was damaged. He made her feel as though it were okay that she was a human and had emotions, and had flaws, but also had so much good in her. Something Lily was sure she would never feel again, after being shattered by a man with a heart of ice.

"C'mon, let's get back out there before Rose is convinced we're doing it in my office." Lily whispered, pecking his lips and reaching around to open the door, stepping through the threshold.

"The idea is still on the table!" Bucky called as he walked after the blonde.

"No it's not!"

\-----

With breakfast all cleaned and Joey satisfied with his pancakes, Lily was ready to face the monster that was Hunter on Christmas. That boy ripped through presents like it was his life mission. But the biggest monster was him giving gifts. Rose warned the young mom that he went a bit overboard with his gifts to her this year. And although he only got one gift for Bucky...it was one that Rose was sure would cause the soldier to tear up. Not to mention, Lily was an easy person to make cry, and Hunter was an expert at it.

When stockings and the presents from Santa were finished, the moment fell on Lily. It was time for the waterworks. Hunter made her cry every Christmas, it was like a tradition now. But the main reason she was preparing for the tears, was because of how nervous Hunter seemed to be about his gift to Bucky. The way he rocked back and forth in his seat and constantly glanced over at the gift then back to Bucky. First, Rose's presents from everyone. They had a tradition of doing everyone's gifts from the rest of the group first, and so on and so forth. But before things got started, a certain Fairchild burst into the house covered in snow.

"Sweet mother merciful!" The woman exclaimed as she shook off her coat and slid off her boots, "Glad to see you waited." She quipped, sending a wink to Lily as she slid into her chair.

"You told me to!" She laughed, lifting her phone and pointing to Gen's text saying she'd be late because of the snow and to start without her.

"Get out of here with your facts. Shall we?" She chuckled, pulling out the gifts for everyone from her bag.

Rose's and Gen's gifts later, it was Bucky's turn. Hunter nervously fiddled with his fingers, earning a raised eyebrow from his godmother. Gen glanced between Bucky and the young boy and sighed softly, sending Lily a knowing grin. It was evident that the two had a very father son relationship, but there was more to it than that. Hunter genuinely enjoyed Bucky, and wasn't just searching for that father figure. He enjoyed listening to what Bucky had to say as well as vice versa, and spending time with the Avenger just made Hunter seemingly float. The change in his demeanour was something Lily wished happened sooner. He was more social, and less reserved. As though seeing Bucky, someone who has had his life constantly on display for the public to criticize, continue to live with a positivity to life, furthered his own personality. Lily loved this new side of her son, the bright smiles and tantalizing comments. He was becoming himself, it seemed.

"Rose and Gen, why don't you two start." Lily commented, standing and bending down to grab her own gift for the man, before tucking back into his side on the couch.

A new sweater and a new henley later, the time came for Lily to give her gift to Bucky. She figured it would be a nice sentiment to leave Hunter's until last. Seeing as he was overly excited to give it. Lily handed the neatly wrapped box to the man, fiddling with her fingers anxiously as he began to carefully undo the immaculate ribbon Lily had tied on the top. She reminded herself that she could have given him a lump of coal and the man would treasure it with his life. But this, well Lily knew it would make him smile. Maybe even shed a tear or two. However, as he unwrapped, that unsettling feeling of doubt settled into the pits of Lily's stomach. Was it too much? Would he be freaked out? Lily wasn't sure. But inside the box sat a few things. A few boxes in a box, per say. And when he finally tore off the wrapping paper, Lily held her breath. Watching intently with her eyes somewhat squeezed shut.

First up, was a nicely framed photo of Hunter's school pictures, something Bucky had asked for to put on his desk, as well as a picture he had taken of Lily one morning when Hunter was at his friend Luke's house. She stood on the back deck, snow falling as she pulled his sweater tighter around herself. He had caught her just in time as she glanced over her shoulder at him, the sun shining behind her head like a halo. The second miniature box inside of the larger one was that of a watch. Beautifully crafted, with an inscription of Bucky's name and birthday on the back. The last thing he pulled out was the leather case that held a dog tag style locket with a picture of Bucky, Lily, Hunter, and Joey all in the backyard of her home, the three building a snowman as Joey seemingly posed. Rose had taken the picture and sent it to Lily, and she just couldn't help herself. She watched as he pursed his lips, gripping the locket in his hands before sliding it over his head. His war tags and the locket hit against each other and the noise it made released the tension that sat inside of Lily's stomach.

"Thank you doll, I love them." He cooed, leaning over and pressing a kiss to her flushed and red cheeks.

Lily grinned like a schoolgirl and stared down at her lap, picking at her fingernails as he pulled her further into his side, kissing the top of his head. Only when Hunter approached did she snap back to reality, and she let out a final shaky breath before nodding, peeling herself from the man's side.

"Alright Hunt, your turn." Lily grinned, tickling her son's side gently before leaning back into the couch.

Hunter quickly dropped the present before darting back over to where his aunt sat, and curled into her side. Bucky chuckled gently and began to carefully take off the wrapping. A boy just like his mother, Hunter hid a few gifts inside of a larger box. Or, well, that's what she thought. Inside, there was a large photo of the stars, with the words The Day the Hero Was Born printed on the bottom. Lily pursed her quivering lips and sniffled, reading Bucky's birthday also printed just below the title. Somehow, Rose and Hunter had gotten their hands on the constellation of Bucky's birthday day. Next, was a picture of Lily and Hunter together with Joey on a beach. That was from early in July, when Bucky wasn't a part of their lives just yet. Lily smiled brightly, a white sundress brushing across her legs as her and Hunter played in the shallows of the water. But the final thing was a simple white envelope. Lily furrowed her eyebrows and peered over, watching as Bucky carefully opened it. He glanced over at Hunter, who was hidden deep within Rose's side. The blonde mother swallowed and watched as Bucky took out the envelope.

Only for the waterworks to start immediately.

Inside the envelope was a written paragraph from when Hunter was in grade three. The students were asked to write about their hero, and Hunter, being the superhero fan he was, had written about the winter soldier. Lily remembered him writing the assignment, sitting at the table and scribbling down everything he hid inside of him about the adoration he had for the man. And now, he was giving the exact replica to the man himself. Something she knew that would have only been a dream for the boy a few years back.

"Hunt..." Bucky whispered, looking up at the boy. The man stood and walked over towards him and bent down, taking the young twelve year olds hands into his own, "Thank you. This is amazing." He cooed, leaning forward and hugging the boy once again.

"Oh lord." Gen exclaimed, causing everyone to look at her. She was waving her hand in her own face, staring up at the ceiling, "Lily usually is the only one that cries what the hell!"

With a chorus of laughs around the room, Bucky took a seat once more. Next were Hunter's gifts. Rose gave him a chemistry set he could use, Gen gave him a limited edition Iron Man figurine, and Bucky gave him a framed picture of him with Sam, as well as a framed signed paper of all of the avengers. Lily however, got the boy a few things. First, a new video game the boy had been raving about, second, was a record player he had been asking for as well. But third, well, was an exact replica of Captain America's shield. Something Lily had to pull a few strings to get, but thanks to her boyfriend, it didn't take too much.

"Thank you mom," Hunter beamed, "I love it. So much!"

"You're welcome kiddo." She smiled.

"Your turn Lily." Bucky chimed in, nudging the blonde.

She hated this part. And from the look on Bucky's face, she knew that he had done something she would for sure sob over.


	25. the one where they're alone

Lily knew was never a huge fan of Christmas. The only reason she put the amount of effort she did into it was for Hunter. He loved the holiday. As a child, it was usually one of the only days that his father would be home the whole day. But it was one of Lily’s least favourites, because her parents weren’t typically home for Christmas. Usually, Lily and her siblings would find themselves up at their grandparents. She wasn’t complaining, she loved her grandparents, and she knew her parents wanted to be home, but their work was essentially them constantly travelling. And then further in her future, Scott may have been there for Hunter, but he was not there for Lily. He was seemingly at his worst during the holidays...and she just happened to be the one on the receiving end of his anger.

Lily hadn’t seen Bucky get angry yet. It sat in the back of her mind like a looming threat, and she wondered if the past few months had simply been a facade. That in reality, he was no different. Did she think it was true? No, no she didn’t think he would ever hurt her. But she had suffered such trauma from Scott that she just...she was never too sure.

“Your turn, doll,” Bucky smiled, picking up two boxes that were very clearly wrapped by Rose, seeing as the girl was sending a knowing nod at her older sister, “Yeah yeah Rose wrapped them, my attempt was sad.”

Lily laughed and kissed the man’s cheek before turning to his presents that sat in her lap. She picked up the first one, it was long and rectangular, not too large either. Raising her eyebrow, she carefully unwrapped the box, revealing a lovely leather case with her name scripted on the top of it. Looking over at him, she pursed her lips before lifting the black lid, feeling the tears prick at her forest green eyes. She stared down at the silver necklace, running her hands over the scripted letter that hung from the chain. It was a small pendant, simple and discreet. But it was something that made Lily’s heart grow three times its size. A simple B hung from the chain.

“Buck…” she whispered, looking up at him with glazed and teary eyes, “It’s lovely.” she cooed, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to his lips before lifting it from the white pillow it rested on.

“Let me.” Bucky chuckled, taking the piece of jewelry and moving her blonde hair across her shoulder. She turned her back to him and shivered at his metal hand brushing against the back of her neck as he clasped the necklace together.

“Alright open the other one.” Gen said excitedly, earning a head tilt from the blonde. Bucky chuckled lowly from behind her and Lily readjusted herself in her seat, carefully unwrapping the next box.

As she opened the lid of the next box, her confusion only grew. Inside the box laid a single white envelope with her name written. Reaching in and pulling out the box, Lily furrowed her eyebrows. Opening the envelope, her heart only continued to grow. Inside sat a picture of a cabin, covered in snow and decorated with lovely garland. The cabin was built of logs, and had a fire burning on the inside. The snow was so perfectly landscaped it almost seemed fake, but she knew it was just a picturesque image taken to lure people in for what she figured would be a vacation. In the bottom, a handwritten note was written out in Bucky’s hand writing, with a simple few words summing up exactly what it was.

“Just the two of us.” He repeated aloud, hand resting on the small of her back, tracing gentle patterns, “It’s Steve’s cabin. Y’know with him retired now, he doesn’t exactly have a lot to do. But he said it’s ours for as long as we want it.” he continued, resting his chin on her shoulder.

“It’s perfect, Buck,” she whispered, a gentle chuckle lacing her voice as she turned and placed a kiss to his forehead, “Absolutely perfect.”

\-----

And it was. Bucky and Lily had decided to take Steve up on his offer the weekend of Valentine’s Day. The couple had reached three months together officially, and she figured it would be nice for them to experience the romantic weekend alone together. No kids, no sisters, no work, no distractions. Bucky had promised her that there would be no interruptions, and that it was just going to be the two of them. He made an emphasis on the whole ‘no work’ part, and Lily would be sure to hold him to it.

Turning off the car, Bucky turned to look at Lily with a kind and loving smile on his face, “Alright doll, we’ve arrived.”

Lily glanced out the window and smiled at the snowy landscape. It was February so the cold wasn’t unbearable, but it wasn’t exactly a comfortable temperature either. Lily was a Long Island native, so Northern New York weather wasn’t exactly her favourite thing. It dipped down quite low and she would have to estimate it sat at about minus ten celsius currently. Either way, she was just grateful for the time alone with Bucky. It had felt like ages since the two didn’t have something going on around them. Whether it be Bucky’s work, or Lily’s. Not to mention, Rose was nearing her due date and constantly stressed about the arrival of her baby, while also finding somewhere to live that wasn’t Lily’s.

“That drive felt like hours,” Lily teased, leaning over and nudging Bucky’s arm, “I’m just glad you didn’t fall asleep on me old man.” she quipped, popping open her door and stepping out from the car.

“You have been hanging out with Sam way too much,” Bucky chuckled, following the blondes suit, “You’re starting to sound like him.”

“Well the man is a comedic genius, I should be taking pointers.” She hummed, picking up her bag from the back seat and hauling it over her shoulder, rounding the car to meet Bucky.

“Don’t tell him that, it’ll inflate his ego even bigger than it is.” Bucky chuckled, walking over and quickly grabbing her by the waist.

The blonde let out a bright laugh, curling over in his arms and stumbling along the snow. Bucky’s chuckle filled her ears like a sweet song as the two stumbled back towards the log cabin belonging to their friend. His lips found her cheek and peppered loving pecks along it, causing her giggles to evolve into small squeaks as she fumbled to pull out the keys. When she found them, it didn’t take long for the blonde to unlock the door and peel herself from the supersoldiers arms. Dropping her bag and tugging the grey knit hat off of her hair, Lily turned to look back at the man who stood in front of the door. Placing her hands on her hips, she admired him for a moment. Nothing was on her mind. Just him.

The way his eyes sunk a bit deeper into his face due to the years of struggle and trauma. The way he had let his beard grow out a bit, not fully a beard but a thicker stubble. Were his shoulders always so broad? Lily admired the way his arm flexed when he removed his own hat, swallowing deeply. But the biggest thing that stood out to her was the way he looked at her. That deep thought sort of gaze, as if he were doing the same thing she was. Admiring everything about the other. No exterior factors playing any games, just the two of them. Alone. He looked at her so lovingly, watching her every move intently and studying the way she acted. He was so in tune with everything about Lily that she began to blush, and he was merely looking at her, neither had spoken.

“What’re you staring at, Barnes?” she quipped, raising an eyebrow.

“Nothin’, Osborne.” he retorted, closing the door and sliding his jacket off before turning back towards her, a smirk evident on his lips.

Pursing her lips into a smile, Lily ran forward and jumped up onto the man, wrapping her legs around his torso. Her arms snuck around his neck, while his found underneath her thighs. Their lips hovered mere centimetres from the others, breathing in the others' existence before finally connecting. It was cheesy and cliche but she felt fireworks deep within her stomach. The two moved together like ocean waves joining together, creating a large body of water. Lily’s hands tangled themselves into the short strands on the top of his head and Bucky stumbled his way to the couch. He bent over and laid her gently on the leather couch. She hummed softly at the feeling of a yarn blanket tickling at her neck as he hovered above her. Both of their faces were flushed from the cold outside and the passionate moment they had just shared. Bucky’s steel blue eyes stared down at her and he reached over the couch. Furrowing her eyebrows, Lily watched as he pulled out a black old fashioned camera.

“Surprised you know how to work one of those things, old man.” she teased, covering her face with her chilled hands.

“Oh don’t get smart with me now, doll,” he purred, moving her hands with his metal one, “you’ll regret it later.” the man winked, quickly snapping a photo of the woman before tossing the camera onto the table.

“Is that a threat or a promise.” Lily returned, a smirk evident on her lips.

“Well...I did tell Steve he’ll probably want to hire a deep cleaning service after we’re done.” He chuckled, resting his weight on his heels.

“James Barnes!”

\-----

Lily hummed gently to herself to the song that played through the small kitchen in the cabin. Saving All My Love For You by Whitney Houston was her background noise of choice as she put together a romantic dinner for her and Bucky to commemorate their first night there. The lyrics left her mouth in a soft tone as she chopped up cucumbers for the salad, her hips swaying gently to the music. Bucky had stepped out to the grocery store in town to pick up a few things they had left back at the house, and Lily wanted to surprise him. She had packed a dress that her and Gen had found at a vintage shop in Manhattan, it was 40’s inspired, with a deep forest green colour, a bow at the collar with a keyhole that exposed a bit of her collarbone, and hit just below her knee. It had short sleeves, and made her feel like she should be on the dance floor of The Cotton Club in Harlem during the 1940’s. She had attempted the classic pin curls of the time but...they were subpar.

Glancing behind her, Lily stirred the marinara sauce as the chicken baked in the oven. But the lights of the car made her stomach drop. She was hoping the snow would slow him down enough for her to finish dinner and have it ready for him when he got home. Pouting to herself, Lily returned to her chopping. Well, as much as she wanted her plan to fully execute itself, she tried her best. Not to mention, he had shown himself to be a fast driver. Her voice continued to sing out the lyrics to Whitney, as she checked on the chicken. She popped her head up briefly when she heard the crunching of snow grow closer to the door. She stood, and brushed off the soft dress she wore as she waited.

“The snow is crazy, doll, I swear,” Bucky’s voice called, “but I got the snacks you wanted. I also rented a few movi- woah.”

A blush flooded the blonde's face as she locked eyes with the man across from her. He was covered in snow and carrying four different grocery bags. But they fell from his fists as he stared at her longer. Insecurities washed over Lily at his silence and she crossed her arms over her stomach, that familiar queasy feeling returning. Her eyes shifted to stare down at her feet as she shuffled on the hardwood floor, waiting for him to say something, or anything at that.

She didn’t even hear him take off his jacket, his boots, or anything. She didn’t even hear him walk over to her. But she did feel the way his arms slipped around her waist, hands playing along her stomach as the music changed into the 40’s love songs she had put in the queue. The gentle sounds of guitar played as Aubrey Hepburn’s melodic tone filled the kitchen. Moon River began to play, and Bucky nuzzled his face into the crook of Lily’s neck. Her eyes fluttered shut as he swayed behind her, his grip moving her with him. The food long forgotten about, Lily turned to face him, arms wrapping around his neck. Their foreheads met one anothers, eyes shut as they continued to sway back and forth in the kitchen. With the snow falling outside, and the delectable smells filling the cabin, Lily felt like she was in a dream. Any worry she had ever felt leaving her as the moment consumed her.

His lips ghosted hers as the song came to an end, but his grip didn’t waver. The two continued with their dance, seconds turning to minutes as time seemed to cease to exist. The only thing both felt was the bodies of each other. His hands gripping her waist, rubbing circles through the silky material of her dress. The smoky musk of him filling her senses acting as though it were a drug, sending her into a state of euphoria. She knew they weren’t a conventional couple, but it were these moments that reminded her that they could be. The couple that went on walks on the beach, or walked the dog through central park. Or danced in the kitchen at 3 in the morning. Went on ice cream dates, with or without Hunter. Spent time talking and telling the other just what went on in their heads. Growing together as separate people with a shared love.

But the fire alarm pulled her back from her daydreams, and reality smacked Lily in the face.

“Oh my god the chicken!” She exclaimed, pulling away from Bucky’s strong grip as she grabbed her oven mitts and pulled open the oven, a puff of smoke wafting into her face.

Bucky laughed gently as Lily scrambled around, trying to salvage the rest of the meal she had planned. When she saw the sauce and chicken however, her heart sunk down to the floor. Groaning, the blonde placed her elbows on the counter and her face in her hands. She shook her head and felt the heartbreak spread through her at her failed evening attempt.

“If it makes you feel better,” Bucky cooed, lifting his girlfriends chin to look at him, “I bought your favourite pizza, and rented your favourite movie...and just so happened to pick up your favourite ice cream,” he grinned, wiggling his eyebrows, “and as hot as you look in this dress...why don’t we just get into pyjamas and watch a few movies and veg out.”

Lily smiled sadly at him and nodded, “I like that plan. I should have known that trying to cook alone would be a disaster.”

“I give it an A for effort.”

“Oh whatever, metal man.”

\-----

Lily groaned as she stretched her arms above her head, before rubbing the heel of her hand into her eyes. Peeling the lids apart, the bright sun sent a shock through her system. Collecting her barings, Lily realized her and Bucky had fallen asleep on the couch. She had to admit, it was a pretty comfy couch. It was made of leather and had deep sides with the tufted coverings, and small cashmere blankets that were not at all big enough to cover anyone. But the two had grabbed a few spare from the closet before they settled in for their movie night. Glancing down, Bucky’s head rested on her stomach, the man still sound asleep. She admired the calmness in his face, the stress lines faded and smoothed out as he rested. Reaching behind her, she grabbed ahold of the camera he had brought and quickly snapped a photo, admiring his gentle snores. She ran her fingers through his hair and tilted her head to the side. Lily had known Bucky was handsome, hell, the first time she saw him she knew it.

He had chiseled cheekbones, a sharp jawline that was covered with stubble. His cheeks hollowed slightly, and his eyes creased at the edges. His nose was straight with a slight bump to it, and it fit his face shape perfectly. His eyes were hooded and even closed, held stories that she couldn’t imagine. While asleep, they were less noticeable, but there were creases in the centre of his forehead, and Lily’s stomach did a flip. His breathing was still that of a deep sleep, and she couldn’t help but trace the contours of his face. The aged lines that each told a tale of his life. The rough patches of hair that prickled at the blonde’s still hands as she continued to admire him.

Moments later, he began to stir from between her legs, causing Lily to giggle slightly as his nose scrunched. His eyes seemed to force themselves open at the noise, and the same feeling she got from the bright light seemed to hit Bucky as well. Her soft coos caused a groan to emit from the man's throat as he burrowed his face deeper into her stomach, pulling the blankets further over them both. Shaking her head, Lily pulled herself up from underneath the large man, or at least tried to. His weight was on a certain part of her body that just held her in one place. Throwing her head back, Lily shook her head before looking back down at him.

“Buck, c’mon, let’s get up.” She sighed, ruffling the messy curls on his head.

“Five more minutes.” He whined, pulling her closer by her hips.

“No. I’m a mother, I know what five more minutes means,” she laughed, “and we are not spending all day on the couch. Lets go skate on the lake today, love.”

Bucky shot up, eyes wide at her request, “No. No, I refuse.”

Furrowing her eyebrows, Lily crossed her slightly cramped legs, “...and why do you refuse, Mr. Barnes?”

Bucky scratched the back of his neck as he avoided the intense gaze that Lily was sending his way. Lowering her eyes, the blonde crawled forward and took his face into her hands. They locked eyes and for a moment, she thought about kissing him. But she figured it would be better to figure out why he was so against going skating. Then it clicked, and she realized just why he was so against it. Pursing her lips to keep from smiling, Lily leaned back onto her heels.

“Bucky...do you not know how to skate?” She wondered, cocking an eyebrow at him.

“...Do not tell Steve or Sam they will be on my ass about it.” Bucky quickly said, taking his girlfriends hands into his own.

“I won't, I won’t, but I’m invoking the ‘It’s Valentine’s Day’ card. Because it’s Valentines Day, and it will be romantic,” she grinned, tucking a stray hair behind her ear, “plus, I’ll teach you how to skate. It’s not that hard I promise. I saw they have skates down at the lake so c’mon, gotta get a good pair.”

“You’re gonna be the death of me, doll.”

“That’s what I’m here for.”

\-----

He wasn’t lying when he said he didn’t know how to skate. Lily skated gracefully out onto the ice, waiting for Bucky to lace up his skates. It had been a while since she had skated, seeing as it wasn’t something she did commonly. She used to go all the time with Gen back in Long Island when they were younger, but eventually they stopped. But her muscle memory kicked in as she twirled and skated around the ice. She dodged children and couples as she warmed up her body. Only to spot Bucky hesitantly staring at the ice in front of him. Lily made her way back towards him, stretching her mitt covered hand out towards him.

“It’s not going to bite, Buck,” Lily smiled softly, moving a bit closer, “C’mon. I’ll be here the whole time.” she reassured, gripping his hand as he curled it into hers.

The moment he stepped onto the ice, both ended up falling. Him from a lack of balance, and her from the fact he fell. Bucky groaned while Lily laughed, pushing herself off the ground and placing her hands on her hips. He had flopped his arms out and let his head fall against the ice, a clearly forced pained look on his features. Rolling her eyes, Lily gripped his hand and yanked, attempting to pull him back up onto his feet. The thing is, he was a supersoldier, she was a doctor. She had strength, hell, she pushed out a child. But you see, Bucky was, once again, a supersoldier. Dropping his arm, and crossing her own over her chest, Lily glared down at him.

“I won’t cook dinner for a week if you don’t help me get you up.” Lily threatened, arching her brow.

Opening his eyes, Bucky mirrored her expression, “Is that a threat or a promise?” He teased, resulting in a handful of snow to be thrown at him. A low laugh escaped from his chest as Bucky heaved himself up, gripping onto Lily for support.

“Wow you’re such a comedian.” She quipped, rolling her eyes and gripping onto his forearms.

The two skated for a few hours. Two to be exact. Bucky had essentially latched onto Lily’s waist the entire time. She skated around, dragging him behind her as he bent over and hugged himself to her back, arms tightly wound around her waist. At one point, he did let go and try to stand on his own. He lasted about...five minutes. After that, Lily had to offer her back as support for the poor man so he didn’t go tumbling face first into the ice. The entire time was spent laughing and stumbling, as well as Lily trying her hardest to just get him to stand. Sadly, she didn’t have much luck. He continued to grip onto her even when they were heading back towards the edge to leave and take off their skates. It was endearing, but Lily had hoped to get somewhere with it. Still, she had a good time. And seeing The Winter Soldier be genuinely afraid to fall made Lily’s heart swell. Seeing that more vulnerable side of him made Lily sure they were moving in a good direction in their relationship.

As the two neared the cabin, Lily saw a familiar car parked on the road across from where they were staring. She didn’t think too much of it as they walked into the cabin, ridding of their coats and winter gear they had layered on, to face the bone chilling cold that had taken over the outdoors. Both then dropped onto the couch with cups of tea and coffee, Lily had the tea, and Bucky the coffee. His arm draped around her, drawing patterns into her knit sweater covered arm.

But the peace didn’t last long.

A knock on the door surprised Lily and Bucky. They both stopped talking about their ideal vacations, and turned to look at the door. Lily placed her tea down and stood to her feet, making her way over towards the wooden piece. Her eyebrows were furrowed and she glanced over at Bucky before she pulled the door open. Her jaw went slack and mind went blank when she saw the person. Because she knew the reason he would be here.

“Hey Lily...is Bucky here?”


	26. the one where he snaps

Lily knew that Bucky had an unpredictable job. It wasn’t a standard 9-5 with a set schedule for the rest of his time in the position like Lily. He didn’t necessarily have ‘vacation days’, or time off. He was technically always on the clock or always on call. But she also knew that he was aware of how important promises were to her. And he had made one to her, and swore that there would be no interruptions. Lily was proud of him, and the job that he did, but the selfish part of her wished that just for one weekend, he wasn’t a superhero. That he wasn’t The Winter Soldier, and that he was just Bucky. Bucky Barnes, boyfriend to Lily Osborne. Male role model to Hunter Osborne. Even just someone who had a standard job, one that was like hers, 9-5, same work day everyday.

But she knew he loved what he did. And how it helped him satisfy that need for redemption because of his past. She respected that, but that selfish side of her just would not quiet as she stared at the man in front of her.

“Yeah...He’s in the living room,” she swallowed, shooting a glance over to the supersoldier, “Come on in Sam.”

Lily did a sidestep and extended her arm to greet the other Avenger into the cabin. Her breathing had picked up slightly and her throat felt dry. If it were a simple mission, she was sure Sam would have just called. Even texted. Instead, he showed up in person, with a serious look. Something Lily wasn’t used to seeing on him. Shutting the door, Lily spared another look at Bucky before walking into the kitchen, filling the kettle once again. Her movements weren’t as flowy and graceful as usual, and followed a more so aggressive and clearly annoyed pattern. Anytime she placed something down, it held more of a strength. It didn’t go unnoticed by Bucky either. He kept sending her apologetic eyes as him and Sam talked in hushed breaths.

After pouring Sam his tea, Lily placed a few of the cookies Bucky had picked up at the grocery store the night prior on a plate and walked back into the living room where they spoke. Handing Sam the mug, Lily avoided eye contact with the man she was meant to be spending a romantic weekend alone with. After placing the cookies on the table, Lily grabbed her coat and hat, slipped on her boots, and walked out the back door. She didn’t intend to close the door as aggressively as she did, but her instincts took over.

Lily watched the sun dip briefly below the treeline as her breath danced in front of her. She cupped her hands around her own mug that she had grabbed before leaving the cabin, and processed what was happening. Bucky had sat before her the day before they left, and took her hands into his own, and swore that nothing would interrupt them. That he had made sure of it. That there were no missions that would require him or have anything to do with him for that matter. The blonde scoffed as she recalled the words, shaking her head and dipping it down lower, staring at her feet against the white of the snow on the deck.

The sound of the door opening behind her caused Lily to lift her head, turning it to glance at who was joining her. It was the opposite of what she expected. Sam stood there with a sorry look on his face, walking forward and leaning on the porch bannister next to the blonde. Neither spoke for a moment, and just stared out at the lowering sun. Her heart fell slightly when she realized Bucky didn’t even come out to talk to her himself, and probably sent Sam instead.

“You know he doesn’t want to go,” Sam began, glancing over at her, “he just spent the entire time we talked begging me to take someone else.”

“And why does he have to go?” Lily questioned, eyes not faltering.

“Sometimes some things won’t rest easy. And have a habit of returning.” Sam replied, folding his fingers together,

This caught Lily’s attention. She turned her head to the superhero and placed her mug down on a clear part of the banister. Her blonde eyebrow cocked up as she studied the solemn and far off look in Sam’s face. His eyebrows were furrowed and mind seemed to be racing, as if he was struggling to find the words. She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the wooden banister, trying to silently coax the real reason with proper details from the typically blunt man. She had a way of doing it. It was something Bucky had coined ‘the mother stare’. Anytime she gave it to Hunter, or even Bucky for that matter, whatever either may have been hiding came out within seconds. But Sam seemed to have more composure.

“I wish I could tell you, Lily,” Sam continued, “I do. But with this...the less you know the better.”

“Oh yeah, quite the way to comfort the girlfriend,” Lily scoffed, turning her attention back to the treeline, “so what. I go back home and worry like the dotting girlfriend. What do I tell Rose? Gen? What am I supposed to tell my son.” She snapped, voice coming out harsher than she expected it to.

“No.” He stated simply.

Rolling her eyes, Lily turned to him once again, “No? What do you mean ‘no’, Sam?”

“You’re not going home.”

\-----

She wasn’t a violent or angry person. Farthest thing from it. Lily was docile, timid, and had a good control over her outward emotions. Especially that of anger or frustration. But lord did she want to absolutely lose it on both of the men that stood in the bedroom. Bucky hadn’t spoken a word to Lily ever since Sam had arrived. Instead, he merely had a stone cold look on his face with eyebrows knitted together. Lily could barely look at him as she finished putting her duffel bag back together with the clothing she had packed for what she expected to be a romantic getaway for her and her boyfriend.

But even the most timid have a breaking point.

Throwing a shirt into her bag, Lily turned to Bucky, “So this is how it’ll be hm? You just aren’t going to tell me anything? Great. Now I have to pack up my son and everything and move into an Avengers Compound because of something I don’t even know!” The blonde exclaimed.

Bucky nodded at Sam, and the latter left the room and shut the door behind him. Tears welled up in Lily’s eyes as Bucky walked forward. He reached out to take her hands in his but she pulled them away, putting the last of her clothing into the bag and zipping it closed. The air in the room was heavy and thick, neither knowing what exactly to do or say. Lily was furious with the entire situation that was playing out, no even per say at Bucky as much anymore, just...everything. It had started perfectly, the weekend. They laughed and talked and learned even more about one another, only to have it end with her learning that she wasn’t safe to be at her own house.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Buck,” Lily sighed, dropping onto the quilt covered bed, “You promised me- “

“I know I promised you a work free weekend- “

“No!” She exclaimed, looking up at him, “You promised me we would always be safe. Always. That you wouldn’t put us in danger in any way.”

“Doll…”

“And why can’t you tell me what is happening!?” She continued, “If this is putting my son in danger I have the right to know what’s going on!”

Bucky moved the woman’s duffle bag and took a seat on the bed next to her. She avoided his gaze, but his fingers tugged her chin to look at him. Tears fell down her cheeks, plump and swollen as she stared at him. Her nostrils flared and her eyes continued to water. There was so much going on in her mind that she could barely put into words. She had a suspicious hunch as to why they weren’t telling her what was going on, but everything inside of her rejected the thought of it. She feared her parents had done something again, caused wreckage or hurt more people. The only thing that brought her slight comfort was the feeling of Bucky’s rough fingers gripping her chin gingerly, staring into her glossy eyes.

“I think you know.” Bucky whispered, wiping a tear from her cheekbone with his thumb.

She swallowed the lump that formed in her throat, and her eyes fluttered closed. Lily wished sometimes she wasn’t as intuitive. The moment Sam told her that somethings don’t rest easy, it had clicked in her head. They were trying to make sure that they didn’t go for Lily or Hunter. From the previous run in, she figured it was more so for Hunter’s safety and Lily’s sanity. But that didn’t stop the raging fire that burned deep within Lily’s stomach. She wanted to help, because she knew her parents. She knew their personalities inside and out, and she knew that if anything, she could get through to her dad.

“What’d they do?” She choked out, opening her wet eyes.

“They escaped. And are partnered with an engineering firm that has been rumoured to be looking into genetic engineering and mutations using natural resources...something your parents are known for. The natural resources part.” He added in the end, a weak smile forming on his lips.

“...how long will you be gone?”

“Not long.”

\-----

Lily stood outfront of the Avengers compound with a heavy heart. Two suitcases were gripped in her hands as she bit down on her bottom lip. Hunter and Rose apparently had already arrived, leaving Lily to be the last. Sam and Bucky stood behind her, the latter’s arm wrapped around her waist. Lily hadn’t said a word the entire way down from the cabin, mostly because she was mostly at a loss for words. Her chest was tight and throat felt ten times smaller, and her stomach had been in knots. Everything about the situation made Lily feel queasy, both with fear for Bucky, and anxiety about her family. She didn’t know the extent of her parents' mercy, mostly because she hadn’t even been aware of the devious things they had been engrossed in. But she felt that most of her worry about her family wasn’t necessarily surrounding her parents, but Cedar. She knew her brother. She had helped raise him. Lily knew he wasn’t truly capable of these things.

She wanted to help him most of all.

“Let me come with you.” She blurted out, looking up at Bucky.

“What?” Bucky questioned, eyebrows furrowing.

“I know my parents. I can help. There won’t be a need for violence, I can talk to them.” She rambled, letting go of the suitcases and taking Bucky’s hands into her own.

“No,” he stated simply, shaking his head, “No you’re not coming. Lily this isn’t as easy as you think. You’re staying here, you’ll be safe here.”

“They’re my parents Buck!” Lily exclaimed, “I know them best. I lived with them for eighteen years of my life! I know how they think.”

“She may have a point.” Sam muttered, earning a deadly glare from the man in front of the blonde.

She knew it was a longshot, and it was most likely just the adrenaline talking. But Lily wanted to do something, instead of sitting at the compound like a sitting duck. Hiding away from her own family. She knew these people better than Bucky, or Sam, or anyone they’re working with. Whether she admitted the slight neglectful nature they had, she knew who Alicia and Abel Osborne were, inside out. She knew her mothers ticks and her fathers nervous habits. She knew for a fact she could be an asset for the mission. Because she was an Osborne, the eldest one at that. The one who had been around her parents the longest, and coherently saw them at their lowest.

“No. No I’m not debating this, you’re staying here,” Bucky said once more, voice firm, “It’s not safe. I won’t let you be in harm's way. I promised you that.”

“You also promised her a romantic weekend away.” Sam chimed in.

Both Lily and Bucky turned to look at Sam with an expression of ‘really?’ printed on their faces. Sam simply shrugged and raised his hands innocently. Though the fact was true, it was not the right time for the comment. Lily raised her hand and whacked the man on the arm, shaking her head and turning her attention back to Bucky.

“You can’t deny it’s true. I know them, Buck. Better than anyone that will be on this mission.”

“No, Lily. You’re not coming. End of discussion.” He concluded, turning and walking towards the compound, leaving Sam and Lily in the parking lot.

“And you sleep with him.” Sam scoffed, a small chuckle leaving his lips.

Turning her head, Lily stared at him with the same expression she had given him earlier. Earning the exact same reaction. Shaking her head, Lily gripped her suitcases and followed Bucky towards the compound.

\-----

“Why’re we here?” Hunter asked as Lily finished unpacking her clothing. She knew he would ask, but honestly, Lily didn’t really have an answer. What was she to tell a twelve year old who had already been through as much as he had? That his moms boyfriend was off to handle his grandparents evil and misguided antics?

Sighing, the blonde beckoned the boy over to her bed, taking a seat and opening her arms for him. Hunter sat beside her and curled into his mother's embrace. She figured he somewhat knew what was going on, and was simply looking for reassurance from his mother. But Lily could barely understand the situation herself. Bucky and the others were across the compound, discussing the mission, leaving Lily with the condensed amount of information she had managed out of her boyfriend. She looked down at her son and smiled with her lips pursed, running her hand through his hair.

“There’s just some stuff going on right now buddy, and Bucky thinks it’s safer if you and I stay here with Auntie Rose and Joey for a bit. Just to make sure no one gets hurt.” Lily nodded, watching as his face fell once again.

“Why aren’t you telling me?” He asked flatly, eyebrows furrowed.

She shook her head, “Hunter that’s not fair. I’m trying to do what’s best here. Just trust me, okay?”

“No!” He exclaimed, jumping to his feet, “Mom tell me! I deserve to know!”

“Do not raise your voice at me, Hunter,” she replied, voice calm and collected, “Have I ever done wrong by you?”

“I don’t know. You never really told me what happened between you and Dad. And I never asked. You never told me what’s going on with Uncle Cedar. You didn’t tell me what was happening with Grandma and Grandpa! Bucky has told me more about himself these last few months than you have in the past years!” He exclaimed.

An arrow shot itself into Lily’s heart. Hunter was fairly open about what he was feeling, and not once had Lily realized these things plagued his mind. She felt that he wasn’t old enough to know what was really going on with the things he had listed, but he was observant. He knew something was wrong. The tears that welled in his eyes made everything disappear around Lily. She had done that. It was her fault he was crying. Because she couldn’t face the reality, therefore she couldn’t tell her own son.

Standing, Lily reached for the boy, only to have him run out of the room towards his own across the hall. Lily stood in shock with her mouth open and jaw slacked. Tears brimmed her eyes as she stared at the door that had just been slammed, knowing what she had caused was standing behind it. Her heart violently shook along with her hands, mind going blank of all happiness and filling those voids with nothing but pain and regret. Why didn’t she tell him? Was it because she was protecting him? Was it because she didn’t think he could handle it? Or because she couldn’t? Her knees feel weak and met with the hardwood of the floor beneath her. She grabbed at her chest and scratched the porcelain skin, attempting to halt her heart from the rapid beats that sounded like drums in her ears.

Lily really thought she had been a good mother. That her and Hunter had a good and open communication line. That there weren’t any major issues beneath the seemingly perfect relationship. She hadn’t seen just how much everything was hurting him. A part of her resented the fact that Bucky had been brought up, and the claims Hunter made. It broke her heart. She just wanted him to be okay, to not have to see the true evil in the world. But he saw anyways, sometimes more than she did. And Lily couldn’t protect him from it, or hide it away.

She didn’t even notice Joey enter her room and curl into her side, pawing at her thigh gently as a way to gain her attention. She instinctively dropped her hand to rest on his paw, the feeling of his fur soothing her slightly. But the heaving continued, and her throat felt tight and dry. Tears streaked her cheeks as she relived the words her son spat at her just moments before. She only snapped out of it when the cool feeling of metal rested on her cheek, snapping her out of the continuous loop.

“Doll, love what’s wrong?” He whispered. But she couldn’t speak. Words wouldn’t form in her throat and her mind could barely function enough to even begin to think what she would say, “Baby I can’t help if you don’t talk to me.”

Lily stared at his cool blue eyes, eyebrows furrowed and chest heaving. Small, inaudible noises escaped her mouth as she continued to dry heave. Bucky pursed his lips and stood, picking her up carefully and laying her on the bed. He knew not to push, and to simply sit there with her for a few minutes. He had shut the door behind him when he entered, and curled the blonde into his chest. His flesh hand stroked her hair as she buried her face deep into the crook of his shoulder, breathing in the woody and musky scent he had. Finally, she violently shook her head and sat up with a new mission in her head.

“I have to tell Hunter everything. He needs to know.”


	27. Quick Update!!

Hi everyone!!

I’m so sorry I haven’t been updating I’ve been swamped with work and school and this next chapters a heavier one!!

I’ll hopefully have it up today or tomorrow, but Sunday is the absolute latest I promise!!

Love you all and thank you for the continuous support!!


	28. the one where he says goodbye

Lily remembered the day that she had told Hunter that her and Scott were separating. She avoided the truth, deciding he was too young for him to truly understand what was going on. Or perhaps, she wasn’t exactly ready to fully accept it herself. Whatever the true motive was behind the secrecy of the true nature of her divorce, Lily had elected to keep Hunter as far from the process as she possibly could, even when it seemed virtually impossible. But the day she knew would stick with both of them was one she continued to live in her nightmares, and tried to hide.

The day she told Hunter her and Scott were separated.

\---flashback---

Lily parked the car in the gray pavement driveway in front of the ranch style rambler she and Scott had said they’d make a home in. She glanced in the mirror briefly, only to meet the swollen eyes of someone who just broke her own heart. Dabbing a tissue under her eyes, Lily mentally prepared herself for the bridge she would have to cross mere moments from the one she sat in. Replaying his words again and again, Lily felt the hot tears stream down her raw face once more. They were scarce, barely leaving a trail as her body reached in the depths of her to pull them out.

Switching off the car, Lily stepped out into the cool fall air of suburban New York City. The refreshing breeze on her face helped soothe the ache of her raw skin, and prepared the blonde for the bombshell she’d be dropping on her innocent son. Patting down the skirt of her baby blue dress, Lily made her way up the few stairs to the gray porch, unlocking the door to the most painful thing she knew she would ever face.

“Hunter?” She called out, stepping out of her shoes, “Gen? I’m home!” Her voice shook as she spoke, threatening to break open and douse the hardwood floors in the painful waters of her heartbreak.

“We’re in here!” Gen yelled from the living room.

Taking one more deep breath, Lily began her descent further into the house. Pictures of the three of them on the walls made Lily’s stomach churn with guilt. Maybe if she had been a better wife this wouldn’t have happened. Maybe if she focused on him more, he wouldn’t have gone looking. Maybe if Lily was enough, she wouldn’t have to break her son's family apart. With each step she took, Lily felt the walls close in on her. The pictures of the Harvey family, smiling and beaming at a park. Or when she was pregnant, all swollen and glowing, with nothing in her eyes. Nothing but dread and regret for what she had done in life to lead to that point.

The roof began to drop in on her the moment she rounded the corner to where her son and best friend sat, playing an innocent game of Super Mario Kart. His smile was still wide and eyes filled with hope and wonder. And Lily stood there like a vacuum, ready to take it all away.

“Hey Mom!” Hunter exclaimed, the young seven year old boy beaming up at his mother before turning his attention back to the TV in front of him.

“Hey buddy,” Lily cooed, dropping down and ruffling the boy's hair, “Can we pause the game for a bit? I’ve got to talk to you about something.”

Hunter’s eyes grew wide and he whipped his head to stare at the blonde, “Is dad coming home!?”

Pursing her lips in a tight smile, Lily felt the dry tears well up in her eyes once again. Moving her hand to the boy’s cheek, she ran a thumb over his supple cheek. She would have rather anything than to take away that boyish charm that he had. The bright, beaming smile that kept her going on a daily basis. The wide forest forest green eyes with such hope for the world, even when he curled into her the nights she cried alone in bed. Neither ever spoke about it or even mentioned it, but Lily wondered if he knew how much what he did meant to her. Pushing away any reservations he had about his fathers reaction and simply putting his mother first.

“Why don’t we sit on the couch, Hunt.” Gen piped up, resting a hand on the boy’s shoulder as the three moved to the black leather tufted sectional.

The excited look on Hunter’s face faded as he glanced between the two women, a sense of dread and confusion creating a mask on his features. Lily’s own cracked as she watched him come to a conclusion that his dad, in fact, would not be coming home. Not in the way he hoped, at least. The cracks created an escape for the hurt and melancholy that Lily felt seeping through her every moment of everyday, even since she said those two cursed words at the altar seven years ago.

“Hunt, your dad is a lovely person,” Lily lied, wiping her eyes with the heel of her hand, “and he would never want to hurt you. But right now, Mom and Dad aren’t going to be together. Both of us love you dearly, more than you know-”

She didn’t try to stop him as he ran to his room.

\-----

“Lily are you sure about this?” His rough voice echoed against the walls as the blonde stared at herself in the mirror, readjusting herself.

“He deserves to know,” Lily stated simply, eyes void of any sign of her changing her mind, “He’s a smart kid. And he’s my son. If he wants to know why his father never came home, or why his grandparents were arrested, hell, if he wants to know why his uncle tried to break into his fathers home...he has the right to know.”

Everything Lily did in the world was for the benefit of her son. With a slight selfish undertone of herself. She believed she was doing the right thing by hiding the truth from Hunter, by trying to shield him from the true horrors of his family. But she knew it was for her own benefit, to push out the venom that seeped into her family tree. Her own blood was tainted with the evil actions of her parents, and lord knows whoever else they had involved in this scheme. Hunter was 12, and had faced more than Lily ever would have wished for him to see. With that trauma, sometimes the truth was necessary. But above all, she had to reopen that line of communication between them. Even if it hurt her to do so.

“You can’t just drop all of this on him at once, babe,” Bucky sighed, standing and walking over to her, sliding his arms around her waist, “I know you want to help him but he’s just a kid.”

“Don’t try to talk me out of this, Buck,” She huffed, leaning back into the man's hard chest, “because at the end of the day, I’m his mother. I will always do what is best for him.”

“This will ruin his and Scott’s relationship forever.” Bucky continued, trying to reason with the steadfast woman he held in his arms.

“Hunter stopped seeing Scott as a father figure years ago. He was never a father to that boy, you’ve done a better job in a few months than he did in 12 years.” She stated finally, moving from her lovers arms and walking to the door, “You can help, if you’d like. Try to explain it to him better than I can.”

Bucky hesitated, lifting his head to meet her eyes, “Do you want me there for him,” he asked, before continuing, “or for you?”

Lily didn’t speak as she shifted her eyes from his to the floor. She knew the answer to that. She wanted him there for her, to help her. He was one of the people Lily had slowly become dependent on in a healthy way. Leaning on him when at her weakest. Feeling him, smelling him, knowing him. It created a safety net around her. But she also knew that it would benefit Hunter, seeing as Bucky had become one of the strongest role models for him. Returning her eyes to him, she answered simply, lips tight.

“I want you there for you.”

\-----

Walking across the hall, Lily knocked gently on the dark wood door of Hunter’s room at the compound. The Avengers had decorated it somewhat like his back at home, no doubt with Bucky’s help, in an attempt to make him feel more at home. However, the Avengers Compound was a bit more modern than the dated and antique chic home that Lily and Hunter occupied. When she heard a weak grunt in response, Lily pushed open the door. Laying on his bed with the bear Bucky had bought him being held deep within his chest, Hunter stared. At them, at the wall, Lily wasn’t sure. But his eyes looked so empty, so...drained. It hit her just how similar the two looked to one another like a bag of bricks. Almost knocking her over.

“Hey big guy,” Bucky started, carefully nudging Lily forward as she stared at the cold version of her son, “Mind if you Mom and I talk to you about some things for a bit?”

Nodding, Hunter shifted in his bed and sat up, tapping it for the two to sit. Joey made his way into the room, jumping up and laying his head on the young boys lap as the two adults made their way forward. Bucky had to guide Lily forward as her mind froze up, her heart following suit. As the warm comforters met her legs, cracks appeared in her heart. Just as they did her metaphorical mask all those years ago when she sugar coated just how severe her and Scott’s separation really was from Hunter.

“You know your Mom loves you right?” Bucky began, only to be cut off by Lily raising her hand, focusing her eyes on Hunter.

“Hunter, your father was with another woman, when we separated,” Lily began, taking her son's hand into her own, “And was doing awful things that would only hurt you and I. He wasn’t ready to be a father, nor was I ready to be a mother. But that isn’t your doing. He never lived by rules or thought about consequences. Consequences that would hurt you. He was harmful towards me emotionally, which is why I cried every night. But that started before you were even a thought in my mind.” She whispered, using her other hand to cup his cheek, wiping away the tear that fell.

“And your grandparents...they’re being led down a wrong path. One with good intentions, I believe. But Bucky and Sam are going to do everything they can to help them and Uncle Cedar,” Lily continued, her lips quivering, “They want to help in a way that is harmful. And all actions have repercussions, good and bad. And these will be bad, I can tell you that. But it will help them. I swear on everything I am and the love I have for you,” the blonde sniffled, “that they will never, ever, hurt you, or me. As long as I am breathing.”

As Lily finished with a shaky breath, Hunter lunged into her arms, startling her. He wrapped himself around her, taking in her warmth as her body vibrated with anxiety. She returned the hug, holding the young boy close as she squeezed her eyes shut, burying her face into his shaking shoulder as he too, cried. A new sense of calm found itself settling over the two, as Bucky gingerly wrapped his arms around both of them, embracing them in a bear hug that could only be described as an olive branch. Both families coming together, creating a new bond. A stronger bond. One with honesty, integrity, love, and peace.

“Can we have pancakes?” Hunter whispered, earning a deep chuckle from both Lily and Bucky.

“Of course we can, big guy. But your mom may need to make them. I think we’ve shown you and I are no good in the kitchen.”

“Have you had her pasta? It tastes like feet.”

\-----

Two days of debriefing later, the time arrived for Bucky to take off to deal with the chaos Lily’s family had thrust upon the world. The two woke up in a tangle of limbs and sheets as they held each other tighter than before. Skin against skin as they breathed in each other's scent before they were separated for lord knows how long. Lily stared deeply at his face, finger tracing and etching each crinkle and crease on it, memorizing the way his skin felt against her fingers. The way his eyes fluttered shut whenever she ghosted a kiss or brushed her fingers along his lips. How she could kiss him for days...the way they molded perfectly into one as they shared a moment of love each time. One part of her soul always transferred to him, creating an unbreakable bond between the two.

“We should get up.” Lily whispered, nose brushing across his.

“Mm...five more minutes.”

“You sound like Hunter.” Lily chuckled as she sat up, wrapping the white sheet around her bare front, exposing her back to him as she picked up her phone to see if Gen had texted her.

“Have I ever told you how beautiful you look in the morning?” Bucky drawled, shuffling towards her and laying gentle pecks up her spine.

“Sweet talk will get you nowhere, Barnes.” Lily purred, eyes shutting as she relished in the feeling of his lips burning on her skin.

“Got me somewhere last night.” He cooed, nipping at the shell of her ear, grinning as her neck and cheeks flushed a light hue of pink.

“Well last night…” she trailed off, failing to find a retort or a response, earning a laugh from the man behind her, “Oh shove off Barnes.” Lily sighed, standing from the bed and pulling on underwear and a bra.

“I can’t wait for the day where I can wake up to this beautiful scene every morning,” Bucky hummed, leaning back into the fluffy pillows of his bed, “You and I. No work, no compound. Our own place.”

Turning on the ball of her foot, Lily bent down and pressed a gentle kiss to the super soldier's lips, “Deal with my parents and we can talk about this, okay?”

“Deal.”

\-----

She wanted to go a day without crying. It was a new running joke throughout the compound that Lily seemed to cry at least once a day. Which wasn’t always true. One day, she was crying because her and Hunter had watched Bambi. That was all. However, that didn’t stop Tony from teasing her about it, even if the two barely knew each other. Though she supposed that if she were to be living with them for an undisclosed period of time, she may as well get to know the Avengers.

“I’m betting hysterics.” Sam commented as he zipped up his duffle bag.

“No, it’s going to be like in the movies,” Natasha chimed in, “they’ll share a moment of silence, both having those three words dangling on their tongue. But neither says it. He’ll kiss her and turn away. But, as he walks away, she’ll run after him and grab his arm, she’ll go to say it but can’t. And he’ll just smirk and nod and say the old cliche line of, ‘I know’.”

“Oh please.” Bucky sighed, tossing his own bag over his shoulder, “Lily may be emotional but she is not a character out of a chick-flick.”

Tony raised an eyebrow and looked between the two, “You two met in a coffee shop. Sam offered her son a tour of the compound. You two made pancakes. Secretly went on dates. And are now dating...Terminator I know you’re new to all of this but that sounds like it is directly out of a chick flick.”

Rolling her eyes, Lily walked over to Bucky and slid an arm around his waist, “Well then I don’t ever want this movie to end.” She cooed, looking up at the brunette, meeting him halfway for a kiss.

“Oh I think I’m gonna vomit.” Tony muttered.

Laughs echoed through the room as Hunter slipped his hand into his mom's grip, and followed everyone else out towards the hangar where the jet waited for Sam and Bucky. As they walked on, the other Avengers hung back to let the group have their goodbyes. The wind blew gently around them, and Lily tugged Hunter close to warm both her and him as they stopped near the jet. Sam continued ahead, leaving Bucky alone with the two.

Bending down, Bucky ruffled Hunter’s hair before giving him a warm grin, “I’ll see you soon, big guy. Make sure to keep your mom out of the kitchen while I’m gone, okay?”

Hunter nodded before throwing his arms around Bucky. The older man hesitated before melting into the young boy, eyes squeezing tight as he held Hunter close. Lily bit down on her knuckle as she watched the two, spotting the tear fall from Hunter’s eyes as he gripped onto Bucky’s neck. When the two broke apart, Lily wiped her eyes. Knowing she was next.

Standing up, Bucky placed his flesh hand on the damp cheek of Lily. The two stood there for a moment before once again meeting halfway for a deep kiss that Lily wished wouldn’t have ended. She tried to memorize every move of his lips, every slide graze of his tongue. Everything about him. The scruff that itched at her face as they connected as one. When he pulled back, there was nothing she could do to stop the tears from falling. Her chest tightened as he looked down at her. No words formed in her throat as they continued their moment of silence. With one final peck, he turned.

He began walking. Each step seemed slower than the other as he got closer to the jet. Lily gripped onto Hunter’s hand, trying not to run after him. But her legs moved faster than her brain. Dropping her son’s hand, Lily called after the brunette, catching his attention. When he stopped and she caught up, she ran directly into his chest. Both of his hands enclosed around her face as they stared at one another once again.

She went to speak. God she wanted to speak. But her throat felt dry and as though someone had filled her mouth with cotton balls. Her eyes were crystal and watery as she stared up at him, lips quivering as he smiled. He knew what she wanted to say. But he simply nodded, before speaking.

“I know.”


End file.
